- I don't know if I'm comfortable
with playing Who Would You Rather with cartoon characters.
(upbeat electronic music)
- Today, we are playing...
- Would You Rather, Disney
- Prince Edition!
- The thing is that, A, there are no black princes.
So, that's the first issue.
- Princess and the Frog, though.
- He wasn't black!
She was black, he was not!
- Who didn't love Disney movies as a kid?
Serial killers.
(record scratching)
- Would you rather get lost in Flynn Rider's woods
(laughing) or get cozy with,
that is really funny,
or get cozy with Kristoff's frozen forest?
- Both sound dangerous.
What?
That's like camping.
I don't wanna do either of those.
- Kristoff just looks dumb.
He's a big, dumb jock!
- Yeah, he's stupid.
- But I feel like Flynn has that flavor to him.
He would give you some really good, stressful (bleep),
and then you'd be like, (bleep) dammit.
- I wanna (bleep) the blonde, which is surprising
'cause I'm more of like
a tall, dark and handsome kinda girl.
- I haven't seen either of these movies.
- It's the same movie!
- I haven't seen this movie.
- You haven't seen Frozen?
(casual jazz music)
- Also, I'd like to get cozy in the woods!
I'd love the idea of just cuddlin' up next to a fireplace
next to a strong son of a bitch to lay with.
Sorry!
- Kate hasn't been touched, in a while.
- In a long time!
- They both look like they don't season their chicken.
- Oh, no!
(chuckling) Neither of them have ever seen
not a flake of seasoning on any of their chicken.
- Not even pepper!
That's spicy, to them!
- So, which one?
- Kristoff!
- Yep, Kristoff.
- Flynn, I guess.
But, I can't deal with the other one's hat.
- I would say Flynn.
- Would you rather be rescued by Hercules's muscles
or Prince Florian's kiss?
Is that how you say his name?
That was the prince in Snow White?
He's boring. (crickets chirping)
Plain like cardboard.
You know he's bad in bed.
- Hercules, uh-huh.
Good personality. - The thing is is that
I don't even know if anyone who knows who Prince Florian,
I don't know where Prince Florence came from.
I've never seen him before.
I'm assuming Snow White.
- Snow White, yes.
He looks just like her, too.
- Also, he just kissed this random sleeping chick.
'Cause wasn't she asleep?
No more kissing sleeping women!
That's (bleep) weird!
- Here's the thing, Hercules,
didn't he technically take steroids?
- Is that part of the story?
- How did Hercules get his muscles?
- He was a god!
- Oh, he was a god!
- Who wouldn't wanna (bleep) a god?
- Hercules, any day.
I would love him to just pick me up.
- Can we just talk about Hercules and what's her face?
- Meg. - They were a hot couple!
- [Ryann] They were a hot couple.
- [Fernando] She's hot, too!
- I'm goin' Hercules.
Who wouldn't wanna be (bleep) by a god?
At least once.
I bet you that'd be some trippy ass (bleep).
He could do all these sorta magical diddly-dos,
(chimes twinkling) to your dongs!
- That's the thing, is that he could lift me up
and throw me places!
Do it in a swamp with Prince Naveen
or do it on a horse with...
- Who's Foebus?
- Phoebus?
- He's not black! - See, he's black.
- No, he's not! - He's brown.
He's something.
- He's brown, for sure, but he's not--
- So, what is his ethnicity?
- Who the (bleep) is Phoebus?
No!
- I don't know what Phoebus is from.
I've never seen him before
in my life. - He looks awful!
- Yeah, he does look terrible. - He looks terrible!
- He also has a chin strap.
He's a type of guy to wear a tank top, drink beer all day.
He won't have a job.
- He'll change your oil, though.
- I'm goin' Prince Naveen.
Are you jokin' my ass?
Look at that smile!
Look at his eyebrows!
Look at that style! - Truth.
- Naveen seems like, again, another stressful (bleep)!
You would be so mad at him 'cause he's lying
and he's scheming.
He's got other girls.
He just seems like he would be a very selfish lover,
but then he would just (bleep) you down.
- I would go, with Prince Naveen.
Pretty easy.
- If I had it my way,
I would do it on a horse with Prince Naveen.
- So, mix the two!
- Yeah, 'cause I like the horse.
I don't wanna do it in a swamp,
but I don't like that dude.
- But, I feel the swamp could be fun.
It's like free-- - Slow and messy.
That's an STD.
- And free lube!
(snickering)
I think we're both saying Naveen.
- Yeah.
- Easily Naveen.
(gasps) Oh.
- Oh, now we're going through animals?
- Would you rather make out with Llama Kuzco
or Frog Naveen?
- Here's the thing.
- Both are illegal to do, just so you know.
- Of course, but first (giggles)
- But if you had to (bleep) an animal.
- Is it creepy that
it was easier for me to pick between these two?
(record scratching) - Yes, wait, pause.
It is easier for you to choose bestiality
than several hot men before this?
- Yeah (laughing)
- I feel like Llamo Kuzco
wouldn't be good at making out.
He's still pretty selfish here.
- But those lips though.
- No, I know he looks sad there, but he's still pretty...
He didn't learn how to be giving yet
and Frog Naveen... - Just looks like a charmer,
like he'd just charm the pants off ya.
- Yeah.
- I think Kuzco would be fun
because he would get me close to Kronk.
Kronk also awakened my inner gay as a child
'cause there was somethin' about....
He was just this big and dumb
and that's sort of my type,
just big, dumb, and full of (bleep).
- I think I'm gonna go with Kuzco, though,
'cause at least he had a sense of humor
and I like a guy that can make me laugh.
If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.
That's not true. - I take David Spade.
Frog Naveen's cute, 'cause you have...
they say you have to kiss a couple frogs
to get a prince?
So, for that, I would kiss him.
- Nah, Kuzco all the way.
- Oh my God.
Wear Milo, is it Milo or Meelo?
Milo, Meelo, Milo Thatch - Milo Thatch.
- Like a pair of glasses
or handle Prince Phillip's sword?
- Sword is a euphemism for (bleep), isn't it?
- He's pretty cute, but he's like your All-American...
He's a Trump supporter,
for sure. - I don't know.
He could be a Bernie supporter because I feel like he's...
He dresses better than the other ones.
- You know what?
He's like someone whose parents voted for Trump
and he's trying to be rebellious.
He would be the type to date a black guy
or black girl just because he wants
to stick it to this parents.
(jazz music)
Milo, on the other hand, he's like, he's cute.
I feel like you could go on cute adventures
and hikes with him.
- Yeah, Milo, 100%.
- Who is he from again?
Meelo.
(jazz music)
Here's the thing.
If he gon' let me sleep, I'll (bleep) him.
We've talked about this on the podcast.
Sleep sex is great.
- I can't believe we've talked about this before (laughs).
- When you just wake up
and you're having sex consentually with someone? (groans)
(groans) It's the best feelin'.
It's like, you're dreamin'
then all of a sudden you're cummin'.
I'm going with Prince Phillip.
- I have not experienced that,
so I'm gonna go with Milo Thatch
because I think he looks like a guy who studies.
- He looks like a hipster (bleep) Los Felix guy
that you would so be into,
that does stand up, that's a little weird
and probably skateboards.
You love that guy.
- Leave me alone.
- Get wild with Tarzan or get fancy with Prince Charming?
- Oh, dang.
This is an easy choice.
- I feel like Tarzan would have to be so fun
because he wouldn't have a way to communicate with you.
- So, it would just be raw, crazy, animal sex.
Think about it.
He's only watched gorillas (bleep) for his entire life.
- I'd get wild with Tarzan. - Bitch!
Throw me up a vine, toussle my (bleep) hair,
roll around in the dirt, feed me a banana.
(monkey screeching) - Oh my God.
- Tarzan.
Fancy boys, they're too prissy.
They've had everything done
for them their whole life. - Prince Charming
would just be like, 'Mm, is this good for you?'
- Prince Charming would never go down on you.
- Prince Charming is missionary only.
- His accessories are terrible.
- You're never doing anything else with him,
(laughing) only missionary.
- Tarzan, 100%.
I mean, I feel like Tarzan...
Look at those pecs, he works out.
- The only thing is that I'm sure he doesn't bathe.
So, there's probably a lot of smells (farting noise).
That sex would have to smell disgusting.
Would you rather climb Li Shang's pole
or get wet with Prince Eric?
This one, honestly, is very very hard,
but I love both of these.
- Oh, this is a tough one, baby.
Wow, this is the first one that I'm gonna have to say
I'm gonna go with both.
I would let them tag-team the (bleep) outta me.
- Oh my God.
- I would, I'm not choosing.
- Prince Eric.
- Why?
- I always sorta really liked Prince Eric.
- But you know he's a prince,
he's had everything handed to him.
This guy has a hard labor under his sleeves.
Well, he's not wearing any sleeves
and he's not wearing any shirts.
Jesus Christ, look at those biceps.
- Oh, this is tough.
- Oh, Prince Eric, 100%.
- He's very very cute.
- Didn't he have blue eyes
- Yeah, and dark hair - and dark, black hair?
That's (bell rings).
- I don't know, but he's into fish,
so, no (water splashing).
I'm gonna say Li Chang
'cause he also is like a brooding type.
Nevermind, I'm going back to Prince Eric.
- Can I pick both?
- Yeah.
- Not at the same time.
- I pick 'em at the same time.
- I don't want them at the same time.
Not yet, at least.
Maybe in a couple years.
- Would you rather marry The Beast and live in his castle,
he won't turn back into a human,
- Oh. - Or marry Aladdin
and live on the streets?
He will never become rich.
- Oh, looks or money?
What's more important to you?
(gasps) - Aladdin.
- Yeah, 'cause Beast is very large
and that's like, I personally like hair,
but that might be a bit much.
- I would go with Aladdin.
- I don't wanna say I'm into bestiality..
(laughing)
He was much hotter as Beast.
When he turned back into the prince,
it was like, oh, girl.
He just would be nice and warm and fuzzy,
probably cuddle good, and he could scratch your back.
- I think I would like to cuddle with The Beast.
- (gasps) That would be so fun.
Also, the mansion is nice
and then you have all those servants.
- Does The Beast even have a (bleep)?
- Good point.
Aladdin.
Aladdin. - I think Aladdin.
- I'd still pick Aladdin
because I actually really like his little place
that he has, and it overlooks the castle.
It looks really pretty and...
- To each their own.
We don't have the rights for that.
There's no way you have the rights for that.
- Help Prince Adam out of his wet clothes
or burn Prince Edward's puffy sleeves in a fire?
- What?
- I don't know who Prince Edwards is.
- I would burn his sleeves in a fire.
(jazz music)
- Is that what happens in the movie,
they hook up and then his outfit catches on fire?
(jazz music)
I don't understand this question.
- I'm goin' Prince whatever, Beast.
- Prince Adam.
I still, you know, I still like The Beast.
- His name is Adam?
(laughing)
You don't think that's funny?
The Beast's name is Adam. - Is Adam.
(laughing)
It's a little funny.
- Beast outside of Beast form,
Prince Adam, in his wet clothes.
That chest though.
- But the hair?
You don't like long hair? - He looks like
Jessica Chastain.
- [Ryann] He does look like Jessica Chastain.
- And she's beautiful. - Wow.
- I guess I would help Prince Adam out of his wet clothes
because (trombone plays)
- He would catch a cold.
- I think I would go with Prince Adam,
but I don't think I would stay long.
I would just help him out of his wet clothes.
- I think I would do
Prince Adam after a heavy night of drinking
when everything's blurry and you just like...
- It's been months and it's just, you know...
- At this point, anything.
- I think we learned a lot about each other today.
- Yeah, Ryann wants to sleep with The Beast
and he wants to have sex in a...
- A swamp.
- In a swamp.
- And I also learned that Fernando
just wants to get really drunk
and have sex with The Beast as well.
So, at least I'm up front about it.
You have to get drunk first.
- Yeah, that's where the problem is.
- No, wait. (laughing)
- I realized I didn't know there were so many Disney princes
I didn't actually know about because I've been...
I was too focused on the ladies.
- Weren't we all?
- Disney princes.
I feel like the old ones are not as hot as the new ones.
- None of them are hot.
I would rather have sex with Mr. Incredible.
- That's not saying a, oh.
- Right?
- What?
- I guess I should watch Frozen.
- Yeah, holy (bleep).
That's what we learned in this video.
How have you made it this long?
- I mean, it's...
I don't know.
- [Kelsey] We gotta go 'cause we gotta go watch Frozen.
- [Kate] Do you want to build a snowman?
- [Kelsey] You can't sign it
if you don't (bleep) know the origin story.
(door creaking)