(ambient music)
- Hey everyone.
It's your girl Jen and today's video
is gonna be about self-confidence.
I know a lot of you guys are under the impression
that I'm a confident person and I would say
at this point in my life, yes, I am confident in myself,
I'm happy, I'm secure.
Obviously I still have my insecurities, I'm human,
but they don't consume me like they did when I was younger.
And I would say that this whole confidence thing,
really came maybe the past four to five years
so all these life lessons are pretty fresh
so I thought I would share them with you
so let's get started.
So my first rule is to stop judging other people.
This is number one because I think it's the most important
and if you don't apply this to your life already,
apply it today.
I feel like this day and age it's so easy
to put someone down and say nasty comments
like eh, why would she wear that?
That's like my number one pet peeve
is when people talk shit
about what other people are wearing.
I feel like fashion especially, everyone has the right
to wear whatever that they want
so let's say like we're at a club
and someone says something snarky
about what other girl is wearing,
that really grinds my gears, like I don't like that.
I feel like whether someone wants to wear
like a fishnet body suit or sweats every day,
that's their prerogative and it does not
effect your life whatsoever.
And if you are about to talk smack about someone,
pause for a second and think about
whether it effects your life in any way.
If it doesn't, let it go.
It really doesn't matter.
When you are hard on other people,
you are harder on yourself.
Talking smack about someone else isn't gonna
bring them down to your level, it's not
and have you ever noticed that the people
that talk the most shit are the most painfully insecure?
Let's just leave it at that.
So the next time you're about to bad mouth someone
or judge someone, just realize that
it's a cheap form of conversation or thought.
So my next tip is for those people that get a little nervous
when they're walking in public,
or they're afraid of being stared at.
So when I walk in public,
I literally just look straight ahead.
I don't make any eye contact with people.
I just literally walk my direction,
because when I was younger I was always really paranoid
about the looks that people would give me.
I'd be like, ugh like why did they look at me?
Do they think that I look stupid?
Do they think I look dumb?
And all these things, all these thoughts
would rush into my head and make me feel even more insecure.
So my solution was to literally stop looking at other people
and continue just walking my way.
And I've come to realize that if people are looking at you,
number one chances are it's not really negative.
Or number two, they're probably looking at you
because you looked at them.
I don't know I just like to avoid that situation altogether
so I don't make any eye contact when I'm walking
on the street and I just look straight ahead.
Tip number three is to listen to a badass playlist.
Like most people, music has a huge impact on my life.
And don't underestimate the power of music,
it can really change you.
So when I was in college, when I would wear
like a crazy outfit, something really bold,
I would just put on my playlist, walk straight ahead,
and it would literally be like I was in my own world.
Definitely, take the time out
to curate your own badass playlist.
Put all the bangers in there,
stuff that makes your heart pound.
Stuff that makes you feel powerful and confident.
It's so important.
I am gonna leave a link to my playlist
that makes me feel confident in the down bar.
Just be warned it's gonna be a random slew of songs,
but each song is really near and dear to my heart.
You can see like, I don't know,
I have like random taste in music.
And also if you guys have a confidence like song
that makes you feel amazing put it in the comments
down below cause I would love to listen to it.
Tip number four is to expand yourself, to stretch yourself.
I think it's so important because if you want to grow
you're gonna have to stretch,
and when you stretch it's gonna hurt a little bit,
but that's the only way you're gonna grow.
For example, when I was younger I was terrified of driving.
Like literally so anxious on the road.
Like my heart would beat really fast
and there were sometimes where I just like
wouldn't even go to certain places
because I didn't want to drive.
But fortunately I had to conquer my fears
and when I lived in Davis and I wanted to go home
I had to drive six hours down so
that constant driving over and over and over again
just made me more comfortable with the road.
I wasn't scared about switching lanes any more
and honestly if I can tell my 19-year-old self now
that I would be completely fine on the road
with no anxiety I would've been floored, literally.
Stop avoiding stuff that you don't want to do
because it's so important for you.
The more you do something the easier it becomes.
My last life lesson is you will grow
into who you are as long as you absorb.
So my senior quote in high school was be yourself,
everyone else is taken by Oscar Wilde.
And this was a mantra that I really fixated on
and I just kind of obsessed over
because at the time, I didn't know who I was
and I desperately just wanted to be me,
but I didn't know who I was yet.
And now that I look back, it is perfectly fine
to not know who you are.
It is a gradual process and everyone has different times
on when they start becoming comfortable with themselves.
But all you gotta do to get to that process
is just absorb as much as you can.
I feel like the world is just like a big chaotic place
with tons of different information just flinging at you
and your brain is just like a sift
that's just like catching as much as it can
and what comes out of the sift it all just like
goes in a big pot and it marinates
and what is in that pot like that's your soul,
that's who you are.
And the only way you know who you are is by absorbing
as much and experiencing as much stuff as you can.
So don't hold back.
Watch those movies you've always wanted to watch,
talk to those people, wear what you want to wear,
go to those concerts, watch those documentaries,
listen to podcasts.
I'm literally just saying everything
that's coming in my mind.
Now is the time to develop your interests.
And it's so important to do that
because that is gonna really shape who you are
and I think it's a beautiful thing
because in the end we're all just like
little bits and pieces of everything
that we've ever experienced
and I think that is such a beautiful thing.
This is just a process that I would just want everyone
to start on because it's so important
and such a gift to really be comfortable with yourself,
and it's something that everyone can achieve.
Wooh, okay guys so those were my five life lessons
that I've learned to be more comfortable with myself.
I know I probably missed a lot of other tips
that I could've incorporated so you guys
should definitely write in the comments down below,
what has made you a happier person,
what has made you more confident.
I would love to just make the comment section
a big, just like open forum.
I want to let you guys know that I appreciate you so much
and this channel would be nothing without you
and I want to film more of these like advice videos,
but I never want to come off too preachy.
Cause I don't have the answers for everything,
I really don't.
I really don't have answers to anything at all,
but I just wanted to share with you guys
just some information that I have learned myself
and anything I learn I want to share with you guys
cause you guys are really important to me.
So I hope you guys have a beautiful day
and I'll see you guys in the next one.
Bye.
(kisses)
(ambient music)