Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are not your perfect Hollywood couple. You’ve probably
seen them poke fun at each other on social media, and at one point, they even admitted that their
relationship was toxic at first. Now they schedule sex, go to therapy, and value communication above
all. In fact, some things they do make fans question if their marriage is even real.
Even though now the couple seem to have a healthy relationship, it hasn’t always been like that.
When Kristen and Dax started dating, they weren’t sleeping in a bed of roses.
More like a bed of cacti. The future couple first met at a
mutual friend’s intimate dinner party back in 2007. Both had ended long-term relationships,
and as Bell recently admitted, they didn’t have an immediate connection, “no sparks whatsoever.”
Kristen didn’t even know who he was at the time! And Dax was suspicious of her and her friends’
unbridled happiness. “I thought, ‘Something stinks here; they’re in a cult,’ Shepard said.
Slowly, he began to see her positive way of looking at the world and how she gives people
the benefit of the doubt. The pair started dating, and things started heating up. They were fighting
A LOT. Bell didn’t shy away from saying that their relationship was somewhat “toxic” at first.
They would get into a fight, and she would yell something and slam the bedroom door.
Then Kristen would slam the front door, get in her car, skid out the
driveway and sit around the corner in her car. “It felt so good, and I realized how incredibly
toxic it was only after he pointed it out.” They overcame this issue when Shepard put his foot
down and told her she couldn’t leave in the middle of a fight. Three months into the relationship,
Dax said he was not going to stay silent any more. “He was like, ‘No, I have more respect
for myself ... I love you, but I’m not going to do that my whole life.’” Kristen realized he was
right, and she has since learned a better way to resolve conflicts — through communication.
And not only do they have open communication in their relationship,
they also aren’t afraid to share their insights with the public. Two blond knockouts are probably
the most open Hollywood couple, frequently talking about their relationship on social
media. And when we say open, we mean OPEN. For instance, Bell listed a series of marriage
tips in an Instagram post on Valentine’s Day back in 2018, one of which is to remember that having
a life partner is a gift. You have to show appreciation for one another. That includes
acknowledging that although they love each other, they are people with normal attractions
and desires — everyone is! So, it works for the couple to openly talk about others they
find attractive, rather than burying it away. “He can tell me someone he finds attractive,
female or male, ’cause he pauses the Olympics on a lot of runners,” said Bell.
It doesn’t make her feel like Shepard is going to leave her because she’s not allowing her
self-esteem to be affected. “I know there are people on Planet Earth that are more
attractive than me, and well, we’re not dead.” She added that while they were recently watching
Friday Night Lights, they were moments away from picking up the phone and asking both
Minka Kelly and Taylor Kitsch if they wanted to join their marriage. Well, that’s … honest.
Kristen also admitted to sometimes having to schedule sex to keep the intimacy alive.
Apparently, there are some times when it’s on the calendar.
“You’re like, ‘I know you’re tired, but it’s been two weeks, so we really got to get to it.’”
It’s clear that the Veronica Mars star likes to make light of her marriage’s surface elements,
but she means business when it comes to the more serious conversations they’ve faced. For instance,
when Dax relapsed after 16 years of sobriety or when she fell into a mid-pandemic depression.
When she was feeling down, Shepard approached her frankly and said:
“Either get up and donate money or donate your time or do something to help,
and come out here and live your life in honour of the suffering that happens in the world.”
And when Shepard relapsed, her response was equally blunt, “I looked at him and I said,
‘Okay, you come up with the new maths.’” She added that he gave her “full privilege”
to call him out on things or give him drug tests. And Bell appreciates how hard he’s been
trying. “ “He’s proven to me that he is committed to evolving, and he loves personal growth.”
The couple famously waited until same-sex marriage was legalized in California. But
they did have their firstborn a few months before getting hitched. Aww, just look at this gorgeous
pregnant couple at the Golden Globe Awards. And when California’s Prop 8 was overturned
just a couple of months later, Bell re-proposed to Shepard. She posted a short,
sweet message on Twitter: “@daxshepard1 will you marry me? Xo #marriageequality #loveislove.”
Instead of lavish festivities, they had held a small, private wedding ceremony that included
just the two lovebirds, and $142, for fuel and all. Kristen wore an all-black outfit,
and Dax tattooed a small bell on his ring finger. Let’s hope it’s not going to end
like Wino forever. Sorry, a bad joke. “I don’t like wearing jewellery,
but I felt obliged to warn all the men that I’m taken,” Shepard said. Is he hilarious, or what?
After a little over a year of marital bliss, their second baby girl was born — Delta Bell Shepard.
Recently, though, Kristen admitted she feels a tinge of regret over
her daughter’s name amid the You-Know-What. Luckily for her, Delta isn’t aware of the negative
connotations associated with her name and is “impressed” every time she hears it on the news.
“Maybe it’s a good thing, because her life’s really easy, because she’s privileged, and
she’s got a little charisma,” Kristen continued. Talking about raising two children and handling
temper tantrums as they come, Bell noted: “She’s going to act the way a child acts,’
adding that it doesn’t make her feel ashamed or embarrassed in any way.
“Only you can make you feel a certain way.” Not only do they try to raise their kids right,
but they are also able to work together and not get divorced after, like many Hollywood couples
do. Sorry, Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes. When Shepard started directing CHIPS,
a film based on the 1970s cop drama, he turned down Bell for the role of his awful ex-wife.
He later revealed that she was too “damn likeable” to play a character who tortured others.
“I’m glad he likes me,” said Bell. “But I threw down a not-so-thinly-veiled threat:
‘I can be very unlikeable. Welcome to the next week of your life.’”
She quickly proved that she had what it took to handle the role, and Shepard cast her.
And the following year, Bell returned the favour with her NBC comedy The Good Place.
Her hubby made a cameo appearance as a demon that hit on Bell’s character, Eleanor.
Apart from starring together, Shepard also interviewed Bell on his podcast, Armchair Expert.
In the inaugural episode, Dax invited his partner on as his first guest. For an hour,
they talked about their upbringings, their moral philosophies, and their relationship.
Okay, could they BE any more open and honest? When discussing how different they are,
Bell explained that she grew up as a strict rule follower and saw the
world in black and white before she met Shepard. “You’re taught that there is good and evil, and
I just don’t believe that any more,” said Bell. “When there is happiness, I don’t run from it.”
Maintaining open lines of communication is THE recipe for relationship success,
but Bell and Shepard take it up a notch by adding vulnerability into the mix.
“Vulnerability always begets connection and intimacy,” Bell wrote in that same Valentine’s
Day post, emphasizing the importance of building your emotional intelligence.
Bell and Shepard have also been open about going to therapy,
saying that bringing in a third party can help a relationship thrive.
“There may be something that really hurt your feelings that you’re scared to bring up.
Go talk about it with a therapist who can mediate. You’ll walk out of the
room feeling like you’re on the same team.” The couple believes therapy is not something
to be embarrassed about. It can help you take responsibility when you are
wrong and see that disagreeing with your partner doesn’t mean dismissing
their feelings. Bell’s constantly working on being empathetic during arguments as well.
They don’t have a conventional “perfect” relationship, and Kristen prefers that.
Many people turn to celebrities who they think are “the perfect couple” for advice,
but Bell thinks that all the imperfections are really what makes a relationship great.
“We have a perfect relationship because we both aren’t afraid to admit that we’re not perfect.
It’s so incredibly freeing.” Sadly, some people are not ready
yet for this kind of honesty. Recently, the actor had to hit back at a fan who questioned whether
she and her husband even like each other. In a comment, an Instagram user suggested
there was an issue in the couple’s marriage, criticizing news articles where the pair were
candid about their ups and downs. Bell was classy with her response,
saying, “You can’t always be in control, or right. We adore each other, we just
try to always be honest about how marriage, or companionship in any form, is hard sometimes.”
The Bad Moms star added, “You gotta work hard to love yourself, and love other humans. Xo.”
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