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(calm music)
- Good morning, good life everyone.
Welcome back to AmyTV where we're here together
to help you go after the life you want
and the life that I want right now is home.
I'm back from quite a bit of travel.
You probably saw in one of my recent vlogs
that I was in San Diego and then Las Vegas
and now we are here in Columbus.
I'm sorry it's so echoey and my washer is running
but like I just wanted to talk to you here
while I'm having my coffee, so first,
finishing my lemon water because that is how we do.
You're watching this on a Wednesday but it is actually
a beautiful Sunday, and by beautiful I mean
it was raining all day yesterday so it's
super gloomy today and it's sort of like
the right vibe for not doing anything,
which is exactly what I feel like right now.
It's unfortunately unrealistic,
I have a little bit to get done today
which is why again, coffee.
I'm still just trying to take it easy this morning
and not get ahead of myself.
Vincenzo actually left this morning,
I feel so (sighs) the feels for him.
I mean like everything that we do,
all the work that we're doing, it requires
a lot of travel, and this Las Vegas trip
was one that we knew was going to happen
but we didn't know it was going to happen
super far in advance so it was a week we thought
we were both gonna be home but then we weren't
and so like literally back to back weeks
he's traveling and the week he gets back,
the weekend he gets back we leave the next week
for another trip, so it's a lot,
it's a whole lot to handle right now.
You know, I have to get super organized all the time
to make sure these videos come out on time
and to make sure a lot of other things happen
in our business on time, podcasts
and things like that, but there's so many cool things
in the works, you know, it's really hard
to complain about travel.
One of the most difficult things for me
is not actually the balance of work and organization
because I have so many systems in place to help me
with that, it's Lucy.
Like (chuckles) the system for leaving Lucy
when we go out of town is yo ma,
can you take the dog?
We actually have, if you don't know this,
you can collaborate in Apple Notes,
you know that yellow notepad thing
that's on your phone?
You can collaborate and add people,
so my mom and I have like a working note together,
it's kind of our own little project manager
on like a low level where I just start
punching in dates of like these are the things
you should be watching for.
I'm gonna need you to watch Lucy and that list
is getting very long, so shout out to mom,
best beagle grandma ever.
She knows it though so I don't really
need to dedicate it in a video.
I have a few things on the agenda today,
both personal and business as usual.
Gotta get a video out so I'm gonna do that today
but I also have some things I wanna do around the house.
You know, it's like the end of the month,
the start of a new month and so it's some of those things
that you just kinda have to like wrap up
in your life, like oh, when was the last time
you cleaned out the refrigerator?
That's something I need to do, especially since
we've been traveling, we weren't really
that good about throwing out food when we were
running out the door to go to the airport.
So bad this month.
I also need to start sort of like a new section
in my bullet journal so I wanted to do that today
and yeah, and getting a video out.
So there's a lot to do, but I'm easing into it slowly.
So, I need to have that coffee now.
Honestly one of the best parts of coming home
is that we've been having a lot of terrible coffee.
You know, when you're traveling you grab a coffee
wherever you can, if it's at the hotel
then you have to drink whatever they serve at the hotel.
The hotel in Vegas didn't even have a coffeemaker
in the room, I think I told you this in the last video.
But anyway, super happy to come home and thanks
to the sponsor of this video, Trade Coffee
because they have sent me personalized coffee
so I can feel actually like this experience
is designed for me, which is exactly
the way everything should be.
Today I'm trying the Irving Farm,
which is amazing, because it has milk chocolate toffee
and clementine in a medium roast.
I'm so excited about this.
Essentially like I just took a quiz,
I've told you about Trade before and they customize
the coffee that you should have based on
what your taste preferences are and your taste type
and so very excited about this moment.
We're gonna need a coffee straw.
Gotta keep the teeth white.
Oh my god, it's so good.
It's very subtle too, it's not like it's like whoa,
chocolate or toffee or even clementine.
It's just like soft.
I think that's just like whatever my taste type is
it must be just something really like subtle hints
and not very bold.
I'm not like a bold coffee drinker.
It was really hard going back to other coffee shops
that I would refer to when I used to drink
like coffee with lots of sugar and stuff in it
because once you switch to black coffee lifestyle,
you really taste the coffee and so I've noticed
whenever I go somewhere and be like
okay, their coffee is extremely bold,
I have been loving all of the recommendations
from Trade because they are exactly the speed
that I want.
I don't wanna have to have like a whole like aftertaste
decision conversation with myself
when I'm just trying to wake up in the morning.
Okay, we've got enough voices up here.
Oh my god that is so good.
Okay, we are off to a great start today.
It's wonderful, it's very quiet
other than the washer.
This is how every day should start.
Nobody, just nobody talking, no sounds,
no music, no TV, just
maybe an appliance and coffee.
Anyway I totally recommend this Irving Farm
but you have to take your own quiz
to see what you like and if you would like to do that,
Trade is offering the first 100 people 50% off
their first box of Trade, so go check that out,
the link is in the description below and you can use
my code which is also in the description for you
to get that discount.
Okay, so I think we need to move about this day
and I just thought I would bring you along with me
because nobody else is around,
so why don't ya hang?
(calm music)
I've changed my mind.
This was supposed to get better for you
but turns out it's not going to,
and that is because I changed my mind.
I was having such a lovely morning,
I sat down, I'll tell you about this whole situation
in a second but I sat down and I started working on
my little happiness project,
and it was so quiet and Lucy was sleeping,
and I was thinking about all the little things
that I was enjoying about the day
including just like sitting down to read for a little bit
longer than usual, I've been dying to clean out
my pantry and I haven't been home
and I feel like that's super important
to how I've been eating lately.
I've decided that this is going to be a day
that I do less work.
Now like I said, filming this on a Sunday
and so I'm not you know, freaked out by working on Sunday.
It is something I do regularly.
I actually really love it because I post the video
on Sundays and you guys know this already,
today it's not about it being a Sunday,
it was just that it happens to be much quieter,
I'm home from travel, an I wanted to take a beat
and I know that this week is going to be insane.
When I return from travel, I end up having
so many appointments on my calendar locally
so that I can catch up, so I basically just said
you know what, I gotta take another mental health day.
I've already done this, it wasn't a mental health day
but there was a day this month that I didn't post a video.
If you're upset with me, I'm sorry,
there were two days this month that you didn't get
your AmyTV, but I really feel like this
is me bringing you through an experience
and the more that I am on point doing that,
the better it is for you, so my goal is always
to post twice a week, and usually that works out great
but today I just thought you know what
and look, the sun's gonna change now, 'cause (chuckles)
it's bright outside.
I just thought today needs to be a chill day
and it's kind of something I wanted to talk to you about
in this video anyway, this concept of like
not being held accountable but for looking
for outside advice and appreciation and approval.
And it's something I wanna talk about and it's something
that I feel I'm very good at balancing
and not overdosing on but we'll get to that
in a little bit.
First, I did wanna point something kind of interesting out.
I randomly when I got home yesterday
decided I needed to move my office around
because I felt really suffocated.
That's what it is, I felt really suffocated.
So now that my battery's gonna die, I'm gonna show you.
It's very simple, I just moved this desk out.
It's not like an L desk anymore, actually it was more
of like a U with the bookshelf,
but I realized I was doing different things
at this desk than this desk, this has a lot
to do with the computer obviously,
and I thought why don't I separate them
because then I'll make a point
to not accidentally get on the computer
whenever I'm sitting there.
This is usually where I am for like writing
or planning, journaling, stuff like that.
So it's kinda nice from a layout perspective,
I'm still trying to figure out
from a productivity perspective.
Okay, back to that thing I was telling you about earlier.
So I had such a good experience in Las Vegas,
I told you a little bit in my last vlog
that I was there for Adobe Summit
and somebody there recognized me as a viewer
and friend of AmyTV and we got to talking,
and we were kind of talking about not just her life
but people in her life and people in her life
hesitating for going after the life that they want.
Being clear that they want something more,
but not doing it, maybe because of people close to them
or because of people not that close to them,
and it was all, it was a really good conversation,
you know, it was just like you know,
you kinda have to know for yourself that you're ready
but you also have to make that decision for yourself
and you also can't keep seeking approval from others
and we talked a lot about that because you're always
looking for the approval of other people
and they aren't even really the people that are
gonna be a big part of execution on this or,
or critical in whether or not you're happy.
Ironically, I come home and I've been reading
Ryan Holiday's The Daily Stoic every single day
but when I fall behind from travel
I've got a lot to catch up on, and so what I loved
of course is that March is all about awareness
and in this particular entry for March 29th,
it was all about why do you need to impress these people
again, question mark?
And it's just all about this seeking approval piece.
I wanted to share it here.
I underlined the part of the quote that said
"be content then to be a philosopher
"in all that you do, and if you wish also to be seen
"as one, show yourself first that you are
"and you will succeed."
And then there's this really great re-quote
from Fight Club, "we buy things we don't need
"to impress people we don't like."
It's so backwards, it's just so fascinating
you know, it's like we seek the approval of others
before we'll do the thing we need to do,
but in all actuality, we're probably not even
gonna get their approval when we least care about it
and it's after we've done the thing
that we wanna do.
Now this depends you know, if your husband
is a part of the conversation or if your parents
are a part of the conversation, it's because they are
an integral part of whether or not
you're actually gonna be able to do this thing.
I get that, but seeking approval of others,
maybe you were trying to do something you didn't
really know you wanted to do until a bunch of people
told you it was a great idea, like Instagram, you know?
It's like do I want that, yeah, sure, cool
because what, it looks great on social media
and people are sharing it and you're like
that would be great if I did that too
because then all of these people would approve of it
'cause already seeing they approve of it,
'cause they like these photos or they're commenting
or they're really excited for these people.
Sorry, I just got back from the gym too,
and it's not good, it's not good.
I just feel really fortunate because
like I was just thinking about my birthday today
and I'm like oh my god, it's not my birthday today,
I'm just saying it's coming up
and I'm like oh my gosh, I'm gonna be 34 years old
and as much as I'm like, I remember when I was freaking out
about turning 24, I would never wanna turn back time
because of how far I have come by doing
to not care about seeking approval of others
and I've mastered it so hard, I've kicked this habit
of seeking approval so hard that I actually
sometimes don't wanna do something if I have
someone's approval, it's like getting to be
a little bit rebellious and weird.
But it's from a good place, it's mostly because
I want to make sure something is right for me
and if I have come to that conclusion myself,
like the quote says, if I've come to that conclusion myself
and I can wake up in the morning and look at myself
in the mirror every day and say I definitely do that,
and I'm on my way to rockin' it and like doing
a great job of it or I already do a great job of it
and what's next, if I can do that every single day
for myself, yeah, I'm gonna get the approval of others
because no matter what that thing is, you know,
I could have decided that this was me
becoming a circus crazy person,
that's a terrible thing to say.
I didn't mean crazy person.
I could wake up every day and say I joined the circus
and if I'm actually doing it, I'm doing a great job of it
and I'm happy with it, like literally anyone
who's gonna be like oh, cool, I wouldn't have made
that decision for myself, my confidence is just
gonna exude like dude, this is the coolest thing
that's ever happened to me, I'm loving it
and I'm doing it every single day and I don't need you
to tell me that it's okay because I love it,
and this is no knock on people who are in the circus
'cause like seriously, I wish you would walk up to me
and tell me about your life, 'cause I would be
all about it, it's just not something I would've chosen
for myself, and being secure in those decisions,
being secure in what you would choose for yourself
is when you stop caring about seeking
the approval of others.
You know it's still something that we do every once
in awhile, right, like it's like what are you
wearing tonight, I just wanna make sure that what
I'm wearing isn't like over or under like,
I used to do that all the time, and now I'm like no.
I wear what I wanna wear for me because I wanna feel good.
I would rather be overdressed than underdressed
because it just makes me feel better.
It's not to impress anyone else, it's literally
because that is how I feel.
I don't buy a handbag because I want somebody
to tell me it's pretty, I buy it because
I genuinely feel so appreciative for something
really nice and I wanna carry it and I wanna
take care of it and I want to be able to take it
every single day and rely on it,
this is just, I don't need the approval of others,
and I feel really so good about how far
I've come with that.
I think the only curve ball is like when you get married,
things change, right?
It's not that I feel differently about it,
it's that I have to take someone else's feelings
into consideration more often.
Like it's not just Amy, like kicking it on her own anymore,
like it's literally no, somebody else will be affected
by your decisions, but there's a difference
between you know, really talking to that person
and getting on the same page and making sure
that they fully support you and putting everything
on hold seeking their approval when in all actuality,
a lot of people who are doing that and I'm just gonna
call you out if this is you, you're probably
not even having the conversation with them at all
because you're afraid of what the answer will be.
You need to find out what the answer will be.
It's probably gonna cause a little bit of issue
and a point of contention but like at least
you're addressing the situation head on,
and if that person truly cares about your livelihood
and you living the only life that you get to have
then they will support you, but you're just gonna
have to find a way to balance the act.
Anyway, so I was just so excited that that popped up
in Daily Stoic because it's important,
it's so important and I think no matter what
you wish to be doing right now or aspire to
or you're just like no, I don't care what
anyone says, I want that, I'm not just like doing it
to seek approval, cool, what's holding you back then?
Because for most people it's oh but I haven't figured out
how to get started or I haven't figured out
how to get motivated, like well if you're clear on it
and you're not seeking others' approval,
how haven't you started on it yet?
Like that's my question and you may even
be sitting here watching these videos seeking my approval
and you already know you have it.
If you've watched any episode of this show ever,
you know you have it.
Join the freaking circus, man,
let me know how it goes, please.
Anyone in the circus, if you are in the circus,
please leave me a comment below.
Oh my god, I could just read this,
I could read this all day.
Is there anything sadder than the immense lengths
we'll go to impress someone?
It's just a means to an end to get someone
to give us a nod.
That is not a life I want, okay?
Let's put that to bed.
Totally get it, I'll link to this
in the description, if you're not already reading
Daily Stoic, ah, it's incredible.
Okay, so that's what's happening.
I am gonna go about my mental health day,
my mental health day, and it's gonna be lovely.
I think I'll make something to eat,
'cause I've forgotten to do that thus far
and just do a little stuff here and there.
Nothing required, which is gonna be great.
I'm excited about it.
Leave me a comment below if you know
you are waiting for approval for some reason,
for something that you wanna do or you've barely
started on, and you need to stop.
What is the thing that you want to do?
Even if you don't know who the person is
who you need approval from I wanna see that
in the comments below and it wouldn't be
a great mental health day without my coffee.
If you want any more details about joining
the Trade Coffee movement with me
which I have just been loving, that will be
in the description below.
Remember, it's the first 100 people so act quickly.
That's all for today.
Thank you so much for tuning in, I appreciate it
as always, quick sidebar: AmyTV will come back on Sunday.
Regular episodes, bookshelf, the whole thing, promise.
So that means you have to subscribe for good vibes,
kiss the ones you love,
and go after the life you want.
Cheers.
(calm music)
Ooh, thank god I got my eyebrows done this week
because ugh, could not put makeup on for this,
I am so sorry.