Hey there, this is Clay and today we're going to talk about whether or not it is possible
to get your ex back from someone else and this is something that is very common that
I see a lot of these days that people will break up with somebody and then go right into
a rebound relationship immediately.
And there are a lot of reasons why I think people are doing this these days, but we can
talk about that a different time, but more importantly, is it possible to get your ex
back from another person after they've broken up with you and gotten into a relationship
with that other person.
And, the answer from working with thousands of people over the years is yes, it absolutely
is possible to get your ex back from somebody else, from a rebound relationship.
Now, in order for me to kind of cement this idea in your mind so that you're not just
taking my word for it, I'm going to tell you a little bit about some behavioral psychology
or sociology that has been conducted at, I believe it was MIT.
But you can read about this in a book called Predictably Irrational by a guy named Dan
Ariely, and he is a professor at, I believe it was MIT, and he decided to conduct some
experiments on his students and some other volunteering subjects, but, he found that
the human brain has a very difficult time comparing two different things to one another.
So for example, are you a better partner or a lover than your ex's rebound is?
Is your ex's rebounded better partner or lover than you are?
I don't know.
It's hard to say because you're both very different people.
You're both extremely different and it's very difficult to actually compare and say, okay,
well this one is better than this one, or this one is better than this one.
And so what Dan Ariely did was he devised a bunch of tests that actually don't relate
at all to breakups, but they related to things like dating, that relate to things like how
people make buying purchases, et cetera.
And, he found that this principle applied across basically every possible expression
in our daily lives.
And, what this was that, when faced with two very different things, it's very difficult
to decide which one is better, right?
Like we just talked about, but if there are two similar things, we will actually have
a pretty good idea about which one is better.
We have a pretty good idea about which one we would rather want.
And the interesting thing is that we will pick the better of these two similar things
at the exclusion of everything else.
Okay.
So one of the most interesting studies that he did was he showed people pictures of different
people, right?
And ask them, which one they found most attractive.
And what was interesting was he showed a picture of a nice looking person and then a picture
of a similar but not quite so attractive person.
And then of course pictures of other people as well.
And what he discovered was that people would pick the more attractive of the two similar
looking people as the most attractive person in the set the majority of the time.
Okay.
And this is what we call the Decoy Effect, and I've observed this many times as well,
helping people get back together with their ex.
So how do you leverage this Decoy Effect to get back together with your ex, right?
You don't have some mysterious clone out there that looks a little bit uglier than you to,
to kind of convince your ex to think of you as the best option in the dating, landscape
out there.
So what do you do?
So here's what we have discovered works the best for our clients.
And that is what you do is you want to use this Decoy Effect by basically changing how
you're interacting with your ex.
Changing the way that you are bringing yourself to the interactions.
Right?
And we talk about cultivating what we call Advanced Relational Skills.
And these are skills that allow you to connect better with your ex, to bond better with your
ex, to tune into the emotional currents that are going on between you and your ex at a
much deeper level.
To have more composure with your ex, to build more trust and devotion between you and your
ex and when compared with the person that they broke up with, the old you, it's much
clearer that you are, the current you, the one who has worked in all of these skills,
is the much better choice between you and the person that they broke up with.
Right?
And this leverages the Decoy Effect to exclude all other possible people that your ex might
potentially be interested in dating, including their rebound partner.
And this is really the best way to go about getting your ex back from a rebound because
I'm sure you already know, bad mouthing your ex's new partner, attacking them in some way,
that's just not gonna work.
It's just gonna come across as petty.
So what you want to do is you want to really focus on yourself and focus on the connection
that you have between you and your ex because then you can leverage this Decoy Strategy
in order to get your ex back from somebody else.
So I hope this has helped explain a little bit about how you can go ahead and get your
ex back.
If you'd like to learn more about how to use the Decoy Strategy specifically, about things
like the Advanced Relational Skills and, all of these other things to help you connect
better with your ex so that you can out shine the version of yourself that they broke up
with, and use the Decoys Strategy.
Please head on over to our website at RelationshipInnerGame.com.
You can sign up for our newsletter there and we can start helping you by giving you advice
and tips and strategies to get back together with your ex, including how to have better
conversations, better interactions with your ex by using things like the Decoy Strategy
to get them back from another person.
But I want to leave by just promising you that just because your ex is in a rebound
relationship, it does not mean that you cannot get back together with them.
It does not mean that your situation is hopeless.
It does not mean that it was a lost cause.
I do not care what your ex said.
If they said that this is this is the one, if they're getting engaged or getting married,
whatever it is, if they are in a rebound relationship, then you absolutely can still get them back
from that other person.
And the best way to do that is to use the Decoy Strategy.
So again, please check out the website over at RelationshipInnerGame.com.
This has been Clay and I'll talk to you in the next video.