By the end of this video,
you're going to have six, because this is their specialty,
stay tuned.
Hi, I am Rebecca Zung.
I’m an attorney, an author and a narcissist negotiation expert.
Yes, that's what I do.
I give you tips and tricks so that you can powerfully
learn how to shift the dynamic, shift the dynamic of power
so that you can actually turn the tables
when negotiating with narcissists,
whether it's in business or your personal relationship.
Make sure you subscribe and hit that notification bell
so that you can learn how to do that, okay?
Let's talk about mind games that narcissists use and
I'm going to go in reverse order
so that number one is the last one that you will hear,
so that you have to stay tuned for number one.
All right, ready? Number six.
Yep. They love to guilt trip you.
“Oh, okay, if that's what you're going to do.
I mean, I guess if you want to make everything
from me and leave me with nothing and after all
I've done for you and I guess I'll just live on the street”,
“I guess, you know, you'll just make me look bad” and
“I'll have no friends” and
“I can't believe you're going to do this to me” and
especially, especially because they know
that you're probably an empath by the way, and so
they know how to tap dance on those heartstrings,
you feel it? you feel them tap dancing on those heartstrings?
Feel that sound?
That sound is your heartstrings being tapped in,
they know how to do it.
They are master manipulators and especially
if you're an empath, because there's that whole symbiotic
relationship going on between narcissists and empaths.
That's how they were able to spot you and
ensnare you into their webs in the first place
because they were able to see that you're a person
who cares about others who doesn't want
to hurt people and you're over there going
“Oh, I don't want to hurt them”
“I don't want to be like, you know, take too much,
“I don't want to seem like I'm being so greedy” and,
so they really like turn it on to make you seem
like you're being greedy, when all you're doing
is just asking for maybe what you're entitled to
in the first place. Especially in a negotiation.
So don't allow them to guilt trip you.
Especially if all you're asking for is what
you're entitled to and especially
if you are going to feel regret after the deal is done,
if a few months later you're going to be sitting
in your house looking over there going
“Hey, wait a minute, I gave all this up for you because
you were guilt-tripping me, and now there you are
with everything and I'm over here with, you know,
I gave up all this stuff”.
Don't do it. Don’t allow them to guilt trip. Got it?
That's number six, they love to guilt trip you.
That's one of the mind games they use. Right?
That's number 6.
They just don't respond and that drives you crazy.
You send them a text, you send them an email,
you try to talk to them, they just don't respond.
They love to do that, another term for it is “ghosting”.
They love to do that because it's a way to control you and
then when they don't respond and you're like,
“Hey, how come you haven't responded?”
then they like say things to you like
“Oh, you're so desperate”
“How come you're like, bothering me so much?”
“You know I have to work”.
They make it look like you're out of control
when all you wanted was for them to respond
to something, but then of course,
if you don't respond, they go crazy.
They start flooding your text messages,
they show up at your house, all of that.
So, obviously it's not an equal footing here,
but sometimes they use the silent treatment
as a mind game to control you as well.
All of the sudden,
whatever is the problem, is now your problem.
You are the one who did that,
you're the one who is the narcissist,
you're the one who's not telling the truth,
you're the one who is being deceptive and
this is very closely related to what they do when you
catch them in a lie, by the way.
I call it project and deflect, or lying and denying.
If you want to know more about that,
you can definitely check out my video on
what happens when you catch a narcissist in a lie and
there's a whole bunch more on that.
But, they love to project what they're doing,
either on to you, or onto other people.
I can't be held responsible because,
you're not supporting me or they didn't do
what they were supposed to do, watever it is.
But they can't be held responsible, okay?
They're the victim in some way.
That's number four.
I am the victim of everybody else.
No one appreciates me. No one supports me.
No one sees how hard I work.
No one sees how good I've been to everyone.
No one sees how much I've provided or
look at the great deal that I'm offering you,
I've given you so much and you've given me nothing,
I've offered you the world,
I've given you all the things that you've asked for,
even if it's been nothing, they'll just say it and
they just assume that by saying it, you're going to
believe it and you're over there confused.
But they play this victim,
like “Oh, poor me” or “Woe is me” and
it's really so pathetic, really.
It's so pathetic. So pathetic. So sad.
If you want to write “so sad”, you can put “so sad”
in the comments, maybe that's easier.
But anyway, that's number three.
You know what feigned ignorance is?
It's like, “What? I had no idea”
“I don't even know what you’re talking about”
“I never saw that” “I wasn't involved with that”
“I didn't have that conversation”
“I never saw that text message”
“I never saw or wasn't involved with that transaction”
anything about that.
That's number two, is the whole feigned ignorance thing.
What, what, who, what? I don't know.
That's number two.
Have you seen that? You guys have seen that, right?
All right, number one. Are you ready for number one?
Come on, you all know what number one is.
Can you take a guess?
You probably took a guess, right? gaslighting.
Gaslighting is their favorite mind game.
This is like the fave of especially the coverts, and
I've been there people, you know that I have
I've dealt with covert narcissists,
I talk about this in some of my other videos,
I have a couple of videos on covert narcissists,
the covert passive-aggressive narcissist,
but basically, what it is,
is trying to make you think you're crazy,
like, “Oh we talked about that and you agreed”.
What? We never had that conversation.
But, when they do that, over and over again,
you actually start to question your own sanity and
it's a way to weaken you, to destabilise you.
It's a method of controlling you and it's something
that they do in order to control you. Okay?
That's what they do.
That's number one.
Those are the six ways,
the six mind games that narcissists use to manipulate you.
If you've seen others, let me know.
If you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist,
grab my free “Crush my negotiation” worksheet.
If you want to join my free private Facebook group,
come join me for support,
it's “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
If you like this video,
give it a like, give it a share,
drop me a comment.
Let me know if you think it's so sad,
other ways that you've seen it, and
if you haven't subscribed to my channel,
now is a great time to do that, subscribe,
hit that notification bell.
I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm so glad that you stopped my my channel.
I'm here for you to conquer and slay narcissists.
That's what we do on this channel.
Thanks for stopping by.
I will see you in the next video!