- Are these MREs Y-U-M?
- Let's talk about that.
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- We're gonna be on a stage, you're gonna be out there.
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It's gonna be, phew, gonna be something.
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- Something.
- Now Rhett you are a low key doomsday prepper, right?
- Who told you that?
Was it them?
- No, it was you.
You told me that, many times.
Anyway, you and your type have something in common
with the brave men and women that serve the armed forces
and that thing are these little vacuum-sealed meals
called MREs.
- Yes, MREs stands for meals ready to eat
but to people in the military, we've heard,
can also be known as meals rejected by everyone.
More retching everywhere.
My rectum's inflamed. (chuckles)
Meals refusing to exit.
Marine rectal escape. - Meals ready to expel.
Meals rarely enjoyed.
Meals rejected by the enemy and meals requiring an enema.
- Mm. - So naturally,
we're gonna try a bunch of this food
and rank the best MRE.
Now we love the troops, but do we love their food?
It's time for--
♪ I don't know but I've been told ♪
♪ These MREs taste worse than mold ♪
♪ Sound off ♪
- Okay, now all of these MREs are produced
for the United States military,
but we recently ranked--
- I think you might be overdressed.
- You gotta carry your spoon, your knife, your fork.
Your salt and pepper and your hanky somehow.
- I'm suddenly jealous.
- We recently ranked the Jim Bakker buckets
because, well, it's a similar thing,
but these are ready to eat so I think
maybe they'll taste better.
- Okay, ready.
Okay here's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna get started by showing you how these are heated.
So they're ready to eat meaning that everything you need
is right here, including the heating element
that Link is gonna demonstrate right now.
This is spaghetti with beef and sauce
and we're gonna eat this one last
because the rest of them had been prepared for us
all the way heated up but this one's gonna heat
while we taste the other ones.
- So water hits this thing and it start to make it hot.
- Yeah, science! - This is the heating element,
and this is the food element. - Oh that looks tasty.
- I'm gonna eat the food,
you're gonna eat the heating element.
- Can't wait to get into that bag.
- So you put both of those down in there
and then you're supposed to fill it not above this line.
It's got a particular-- - A predetermined amount
of water-- - Dosage of water here
that I'm gonna add, and then--
- So it's going above the do not overfill
but that's just because we've premeasured it.
Everything's gonna be okay-- - Don't worry!
- Don't panic! - Just chill out.
Just, and then, I'm gonna put this in here.
See we're like-- - It's like a Hot Pocket.
- Out in the wild, you know, you find yourself a rock,
put this right here.
It's gonna take about 10 minutes.
I'm gonna put it over here on the edge of frame
and that's it, it's heating.
- Yes. - And while it's heating,
we're gonna taste some other meals that the crew
has already warmed up for us.
- And then we're gonna rank them on this board
behind us on a scale of six to one.
Starting with monstrous repulsive excrement.
Massive rectum evacuation.
Mouth rejects entirely.
Mediocre, really, eh.
Mm!
Really exceptional, and,
makes Rhett ecstatic, and Link.
- And me.
Oh, I'm hearing this thing scizzle, scizzle, scizzle.
Let's get the first one out here.
- [Rhett And Link] Round one.
- We got the beef taco filling.
We've got the Santa Fe rice and beans.
And we've got-- - Tortillas, plain.
- Let's put the beef taco filling on first, right?
- Listen, we're not using plates
because they wouldn't have those.
- Look at that.
- This is pretty amazing.
That tortilla-- - Wow!
- Is supple.
It smells good.
- All right, so hold that.
I'm just gonna dippity-do-dah.
- Just put it in front of you there.
- All right. - Okay that's probably enough.
- [Link] Generous.
And then some more right there.
- And this is another thing we gotta put on there?
- Yeah that's beans and rice, man.
- You know what, it's a very appropriate temperature.
- Oh you're gonna do some squeezey-squeeze?
- [Rhett] I'm just gonna squeezey.
- Oh yeah. - Oh look at that.
That's tasty. - Looks cheesy.
- Break it off. - It said beans and rice,
but maybe it's just the,
I like how we're being very reverent.
- Yes.
We don't want the enemy to hear us.
- Okay so now we get--
(chuckles)
Now we're gonna taste it.
Dink it and sink it.
That's great. - It's pretty good, man.
(crew laughs)
- Now anything with beans you're gonna like.
You don't have to like it as much as you are,
but I know you are because this is some good stuff, man.
- Both the things are really good on their own.
- So should we? - I gotta pace myself.
These MREs are really gonna do me right.
- I definitely can't say this mouth rejects entirely.
I mean, this is a pretty negative scale.
Gotta start with--
- That's really exceptional!
- Exceptional right there. - It is really exceptional.
Not lying! - Yes!
- [Rhett And Link] Round two.
- Now we're moving along to chicken and noodles
with vegetables and sauce.
That's catchy! - Mhm.
Hey Sarge, give me some of that chicken and noodles
with vegetables and sauce!
- Oh did you mean the chicken and noodles
with vegetables and sauce? - Yeah!
The chicken and noodles with vegetables and sauce.
- Maybe we should call it CNVS.
- I bet they do, they like to do acronyms of things.
All right-- - CAN--
(chuckles)
CANWVIS would be
can-woov-is.
Can-woos-vis.
- Now this sir is an interesting
amalgamation of pouch.
Food. - Hold on.
I don't see chicken, I see noodles.
I see vegetables, I see sauce.
And I eat it.
- (chuckles) I see happiness.
- No no no no.
Not as good, Sarge.
- Not great, Sarge.
Lieutenant.
Lieutenant not great.
- It has a metallic taste to it
like it's been left in there for too long.
These are all relative, we bought these new.
They were manufactured recently.
- This is like lower quality than like that
medium quality dog food that I feed Jade.
- Yeah, I think my mouth reject--
- It has human looking pieces.
- My mouth rejects this entirely.
I don't know if it's gonna cause a massive rectum evacuation
because it's too early to know,
but eventually, something will.
- [Rhett And Link] Round three.
- I don't see how you could screw up chili with beans.
It definitely feels like the kind of thing
that you put in a pouch that you slightly warm,
put it next to a rock and then enjoy.
- Well it's speaking your love language.
- Look at that. - Which is just beans.
- Oh gosh.
It's a lot like the chili that went into the taco.
In fact, if I was a betting man, I might say--
- (chuckles) Right. - That the chili with beans
and the beef taco filling are one and the same.
- It's got a different seasoning.
- It's sweeter. - More of a spicy,
sweeter thing.
I'll say it's not as good as the beef taco filling
from that, which we have at number two.
- I did go back in already though.
- It's not bad at all.
- My mouth is not rejecting it.
Eh, I kinda feel like it's a meh.
Mediocre really, but it's actually somewhere better
than mediocre, but we don't have an option for that.
So we're gonna put it right here at number three.
- Totally agree.
- [Rhett And Link] Round four.
- Hey Sarge, I'm a vegetarian.
Can you give me that vegetarian option which is
vegetarian taco pasta parenthetically vegetable crumbles
with pasta in taco-style sauce?
- Oh, you're talking about the vegetarian taco pasta
parenthetically vegetable crumbles with pasta
in taco-style sauce? - Yeah, exactly.
- I've got one!
- Vegetarian taco pasta parenthetically vegetable crumbles
with pasta in taco-style sauce.
- Here's the problem, son.
Chad already ate the vegetarian taco pasta,
the vegetable crumbles with pasta taco-style sauce
because we only had one!
- Was that the parenthetical one though?
- Yeah, here's the thing.
Micah told us, 'cause he did the research on this,
that typically you get a box of 12,
and there's usually one vegetarian option,
so I think the thing is is if Chad's already there,
(chuckles) he's gonna eat your vegetarian taco pasta.
So you better get it quick!
- It smells like school supplies.
I mean like-- - That's not a bad thing.
- Pencils.
- That's not a bad thing at all.
- Paper, a little bit of glue.
I'm really not loving those vegetable crumbles.
- Well again-- - What is that?
- It's the same flavor base as what we just ate.
- Yeah, this is gonna get redundant.
- Yeah.
I was excited about this whole MRE thing
when this started and now I'm growing tired
of it after four.
- Yeah, this actually has a,
there's no powder involved but it has a
powdery kind of experience in my mouth.
- Is it worse than the chicken and noodles
with vegetables and sauce?
I think it might be and it definitely is more likely
to cause of massive rectum evacuation,
so put it up there on number five, Charles!
- Yep, do it.
- [Rhett And Link] Round five.
- This is a two-parter.
It's not just the brisket entree.
We also have the au gratin potatoes, which is very fancy.
- Oh, now we're talking.
What is au gratin anyway?
Is that something you put on a potato
or is that how you prepare a potato?
- I don't know. - It's just something you say.
- Yeah. - When you're in combat.
- Oh, that has a dog food waft to it.
- Yeah it does.
Ew. - This is from a man
who's eaten a lot of dog food.
- This just has a cheesy, that smells good.
That's gonna cover up a world of dog food.
- It kinda has a cheesy pastiness to it though.
Like a camp cheese.
(Link mimics whip striking)
- Okay.
- You wanna go for the dog food first?
- I'm more of a mix it man.
- Don't defile my gratin.
Are you gonna defile my gratin?
- I'm only gonna define my gratin.
- [Rhett] Oh gosh.
- Well, I'm gonna defile the whole pouch I guess.
I'm eat it together.
- Mm, man, we started so strong.
- That's tough. - That is not great.
- Tough to eat.
- Let me get some of that defiled gratin.
- It doesn't help.
I mean it would be better if they just made it
devoid of flavor.
Instead they gave it some sort of anti-flavor wrongness.
- Wow, that is rough in lots of ways.
- I readily admit, if you're in a combat situation,
last thing you're thinking about is,
how good is my au gratin, or even,
what the hell is au gratin?
(Rhett chuckles)
- Yeah, also, when you're out and about,
the closest that I have to this is just camping
which is know is not really a military situation,
but things taste better when you're camping,
when you kinda deprived yourself from the
comfy parts of life.
Oh so you think this is better than the vegetarian stuff?
- But this is still not good if you're camping.
- [Rhett] They're both real, real bad.
- So I mean, this is real, real bad,
but I don't think it's as bad as chicken and noodles
with vegetables and sauce.
Yes it is.
- Yeah, it is, yeah.
It's worse than that, here we go.
- It is worse than that.
- Once you get down here, it's just all a blur.
- Brisket entree gets your hopes up,
but then (whacks table) slams you down into
those things that military people dig.
Ditches, what are they called?
- Trenches. - Trenches.
- [Rhett And Link] Round six.
- This is how you clean your spoon in the trenches.
- [Rhett] You gotta have a paper towel?
- You just wipe it with a,
yeah, I could wipe it with my camo thing,
but I'm not gonna do that.
All right, now we're getting to the one that we cooked
right here before your very eyes.
- Yeah.
Got some pride going on in this one.
We took care of it ourselves!
- I mean it's been the right amount of time,
but it doesn't seem that warm.
- I feel like it's good enough.
For what it is.
It feels about normal.
Break it out.
- Okay.
- Spaghetti with beef and sauce.
You know, they could just go like one extra step
to name these something that sounds appetizing.
I mean maybe it's an advantage just to tell you
exactly what it is.
It's just spaghetti with beef and sauce, Chad.
Shut up!
You don't even eat beef, Chad!
- Now, I mean, this doesn't look any different
than like the spaghetti I would eat in grade school
which I loved.
- Oh, you remember in October it would be scary spaghetti?
(chuckles)
- Yes.
But it would be the same-- - Same exactly spaghetti.
And every time I saw it on my refrigerator at home,
I was like, "Mom, it's scary spaghetti!"
(crew laughing)
- Dink it.
I like it.
- Hold on, but just,
what is that metallic taste that's happening?
Because--
- There's money in the bottom. - Smoke!
- Smokes?
- Is that supposed to happen?
Sarge, was that supposed to happen?
- Oh gosh, it stinks too.
It's like napalm, man.
We been cooking with napalm.
- No, probably not.
It tastes like, I mean, Chef Boyardee--
(Link gasps fearfully)
Chef Boyardee would be better than that.
You know what I'm saying, just a straight up Chef Boyardee.
Why can't they just take Chef Boyardee
and put it in pouches?
- I don't know, I don't have that type of clearance.
- You really like this?
I don't even want another bite.
And I'm the guy that likes scary spaghetti.
- It's middle-of-the-road.
I think all this is gonna shift forward.
- I think it's better than,
yeah, right here.
It's not better than the chili with beans
or the taco.
- Move the beef taco filling.
Let's nestle it in third place.
So, sorry vegetarian taco pasta
parenthetically vegetable crumbles with pasta
in taco-style sauce, you're the big loser today.
- And the winner of course is tortillas, comma, plain,
with beef taco filling and Santa Fe style rice and beans,
all mixed together.
You should probably come up with a catchier name
for that because it's real good.
- Thank you for your service.
- And thank you for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, I'm Aaron Wygen.
- And I'm Kevin Pascline.
- And we're in the Middle East.
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- Yeah! - Nailed it.
- Yeah!
- Thank you both for your service.
Click the top link to watch us taste more MREs,
including sides, drinks and desserts in Good Mythical More.
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