Ah, such a beautiful thing when you fall head over heels for someone.
But then those feelings suddenly fade away.
Why is that?
It could be because of some seemingly innocent and harmless habits you do every day without
even realizing it!
Take, for instance…
Being Messy Have you ever wondered why your passion disappears
not long after you start living together?
Well, if one of you is messy, then it’s no wonder!
Nobody likes seeing dirty socks lying around the house and personal hygiene items left
in the toilet or the bathroom sink.
And don't try to put your responsibilities on somebody else – your partner isn’t
your mom or dad, and they shouldn’t have to clean the whole house while you sit and
watch TV or surf the web.
You are both grown-ups, so show some respect for one another.
Clean up after yourself, and your significant other will really appreciate it!
Invading Personal Space When you first start dating, you can't get
enough of one another and wanna be together all the time.
And it's completely natural, since your hormones are going crazy right now!
However, every single one of us needs some me-time to reflect on our lives and goals
or just relax, so give your boyfriend this opportunity.
Experts say that men are generally less sociable than women, so that's why they crave personal
space way more.
And hey, the same goes for clingy guys as well!
Plus, nothing kills love like seeing each other every minute of every day, especially
when one or both of you have a habit of just barging into the bathroom while the other
one is using it!
That ain’t romantic at all!
Just imagine how amazing it'll be when you see each other after at least an evening apart.
Ah, those butterflies will be back in no time!
Being Manipulative Do you like it when someone tries to get you
to do something you don't want?
Well, your partner doesn't like it either.
Every time you deliberately start to cry or say that you don't wanna see them unless they
do what you say, their love for you slowly dies down.
Less obvious and sneaky ways of manipulation won't work either – subconsciously, we all
know when someone is playing with us.
After all, are you in a relationship to be a tyrant or to be a part of a healthy union?
Both of your opinions matter, and your partner deserves to be treated with the same respect
and honesty you expect from them.
Getting Jealous Love makes us vulnerable and fragile, and
we're all scared that the person we adore the most will break our heart.
And that's exactly where this awful feeling of jealousy comes from.
You think that this girl at the bar is checking out your guy, and his coworker looks pretty
suspicious too.
As a result, you project all your fears onto him, he has no idea what's going on, and your
own little paradise turns into a nightmare.
One of the best things you can do is talk to him openly about your feelings.
He'll understand what you're going through, and you'll know that you can trust him.
However, there's one major exception here: if your boyfriend or girlfriend gets jealous
about absolutely everything you do, this feeling comes from their controlling behavior and
possessiveness.
Unfortunately, it's almost impossible to change these people, so the best thing you can do
is to get out of that relationship.
Having Different Visions of the Future It’s so easy to get caught up in your own
personal fantasies of your perfect future with the one you love.
I mean, let’s be real, some people are even imagining their perfect wedding right after
a first date!
But sometimes these seemingly innocent imaginary montages can ruin your relationship completely.
A lot of the time we expect our partner to have the same view of the future as we do.
“Oh, Mark and I are gonna have 2 kids, a house in the suburbs, and 6 dogs!”
And a month later you find out that Mark doesn't wanna have kids, loves his downtown apartment,
and is a cat person.
Bam, your dreams are shattered!
The best way to handle it is to get into a relationship with no major expectations early
on.
You love this guy, you wanna be with him, what more do you want?
You can cross every bridge when you get there.
Although, if you have strong opinions about certain things (for example, you’re absolutely
sure that you don't wanna have kids), you should probably discuss it beforehand to be
on the same page.
Trying to Be Perfect When you're dating, you wanna be the perfect
woman.
You might choose your best clothes, spend hours doing your hair and makeup, or go for
those super cute but really uncomfortable panties just to impress him.
But it's a big mistake trying to be flawless instead of being yourself and being comfortable
while you do it!
If you have a couple of zits, so what?
Your boyfriend isn’t perfect either.
If you wanna wear your old stretched-out T-shirt around the house, go for it!
You don't have to look like a model for your boyfriend to adore you – he's in love with
who you are, not how you look.
Actually, to figure out what guys are really after, psychologists Russell Clark and Elaine
Hatfield conducted an interesting experiment back in 1989.
They asked a couple of young women to chat with some guys around the Florida State University
campus.
Mind you, they weren’t all dressed up or anything like that – just casual clothes
and not much makeup at all.
In the end, nearly 70% of the guys were interested enough to wanna meet up with the girls later
on, proving that you don’t need to look “perfect” in order to attract someone.
So relax, be yourself, and let your personality shine through!
Constantly Complaining It’s totally natural to get annoyed and
wanna complain about anything and everything.
But you gotta pick your battles!
Blowing off some steam may be relieving for you, but it's unbelievably toxic for everyone
else, including your partner.
Doing the ultimate combo of complaining about him to him is a bad idea as well – this
only creates division and tension in your romance.
If it's about a serious issue in your relationship, it's better to take time to calm down and
then have a proper conversation.
And guys, you shouldn't forget about this simple rule either!
The same thing goes for fighting over texts, by the way.
Wait until you can get together and discuss the problem instead of hurting each other
via SMS.
You'll probably see how childish and stupid your fight is once you discuss it out loud.
Compromising We're constantly being told that compromise
is the key to a strong romantic bond.
If you can't find a compromise, you lose!
And as long as I'm here to dispel myths, let me tell you something: this principle doesn't
work in real life at all.
According to Nicole Witt, a conflict resolution coach, when you and your partner have different
points of view, you subconsciously see the situation as a competition.
So you either “win” or “lose” in this debate depending on how much the “compromise”
benefits your side.
And just like that, compromising turns into two people taking turns getting mostly what
they want.
This creates isolation within your relationship, breaking your union into two different sides.
A much better method to turn to is collaboration.
Use your imagination and join forces to come up with a third solution that will look good
to both of you.
This way, you won't take sides and fight one against the other – you'll be creating something
together.
And that's exactly what a healthy union is all about!
What everyday habits do you think can really ruin a relationship?
Share your thoughts down in the comments!
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