- Which famous Chris is your soulmate?
No matter what, you win.
Aww.
That's a nice thing.
(upbeat music)
Hi, I'm Chris Pratt,
and I'm taking a quiz right now,
to determine which famous Chris is my soulmate.
Choose a must-have quality
that you most want in a Chris:
rock hard abs, a sense of humor,
gorgeous facial hair, thick thighs,
arms and butt, wokeness, a suave sense of style.
I think you have a sense of humor.
Choose a bad pickup line
that would actually work on you.
Were your parents beavers?
'Cause damn!
(cackling)
That would work.
OK, I'm here.
What do you want for your next wish?
If you were a booger,
I'd pick you.
On a scale of one to America,
how free are you tonight?
(laughing and banging the table)
Are you trash?
'Cause I'd like to take you out.
I'd settle for you.
Ooh, not that one.
I would say on a scale of one to America,
how free are you tonight?
Choose an ideal first date with your Chris.
Dinner and a movie, weekend brunch,
a comedy show,
picnic at the beach, or trivia night at a local bar.
No, no, no, no.
I'm gonna go with first date?
Comedy show, no.
Picnic at the beach.
Ooh, I hope I get Hemsworth.
Choose a famous power couple to go on a double date
with you and your Chris.
Oh, snap.
I got either Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively.
That would be a good one.
Jay-Z and Beyonce, Neil Patrick Harris and David Burka.
Oh, man.
This is gonna be so hard to pick.
David and Victoria Beckham?
Kim Kardashian and Kanye West?
Yes.
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi.
Ohhh.
First of all, if I take my Chris on a date
with either, any of these power couples,
I'm getting laid.
Okay, 'cause that is impressive.
I'm gonna go, Ellen.
Elle and Portia.
It's a tough one,
'cause I also love,
I love 'em all.
I'm going Ellen.
Ellen and Portia.
Double date.
What's up, girls?
Finally, choose a cinematic situation
to rescue your Chris from.
He's surrounding by a group of angry raptors.
He's in a jail cell guarded by super humans.
He's on an operation table
in an E.T. spaceship.
That's romantic.
He's stuck in the attic of a haunted house.
He's on a sinking ship surrounded by sharks.
He's tied up in the basement of a serial killer.
Sinking ship!
(gasping)
My soulmate is.
(drumroll)
Do-do-do-do-do-do-a-loo.
The succulent Chris Pine.
Oh, man.
(romantic music)
Mm.
Ah, so Chris Pine is my soulmate, eh?
Lucky me, because this Chris is refined AF.
Chris Pine is the most polished of the Chrises.
He's a man of elegance and taste.
Oh, God, he's not gonna like me.
With Chris Pine as a soulmate,
you can expect weekend trips to the museum,
a bottle of red wine with every dinner,
trips to the most romantic getaways you could imagine.
Okay.
Cheers to that.
Well, I'll take everything but the museum.
I'll get him off museums.
We'll just go once or twice,
and I'll just embarrass him.
Well, hey, Chris, if you're watching,
I just, I don't know.
I got butterflies in my stomach,
but is there, could we make this happen?
I don't know.
But you know,
is there is a possibility a guy like you,
and a guy like me could just be happy together,
find some semblance of happiness,
just a partnership, friendship,
friendship with benefits and no fucking museums, okay?
That's all I ask, Chris Pine.
(chuckling)
That was fun.
What do you think?
I'm gonna give it an OMG.
(romantic music)