(upbeat, electric guitar music)
- Yeah man, Set List, wooh.
Bring it in closer, yeah, yeah, yeah, like that, yeah.
There's no pressure, just go up there have fun,
and you let your mind grow on a subject matter.
You're in control, you're the pilot.
You're the captain of the ship.
Right, creating something from nothing.
Is like a queef or a fart. (laughs)
- Will you welcome the never before seen
set list of Mr. Byron Bowers.
(cheers)
- Set List
(upbeat music)
(cheers) (upbeat music)
(clapping) (upbeat music)
(laughs)
I just been doing some traveling recently, right.
And this is a problem that we do not have here in L.A.
L.A. has a homeless problem.
I was in Florida.
(laughs)
Right?
They have a elderly problem.
(laughs)
Elderly people begging for free stuff,
"Hey man, hey, you got some pills? You got some medication?
"You got some weed? You got something that I can smoke
"to keep these bones from hurting me?"
(laughs)
I'm like, "Why don't you go out and get a job and work?"
(laughs)
"You just sit on your ass in these diapers."
(laughs)
"All day. What are you waiting on, death?
"Go out and there and live the rest of your life."
(laughs)
You know when I lost it?
This old guy asked me for the time, the time.
(laughs)
The time aint free motherfucker.
(laughs)
Get your old ass a Xbox.
(laughs)
Time'll go by fast.
(laughs)
That's what I give'em, free advice.
(laughs)
(clapping)
(laughs)
So I just got this new iPhone, right.
(laughs)
And when they sold it to me, they was like,
"This is a new feature.
"It's this lady called Siri, you can ask her anything
"and she gives you the answers to what you need."
I had a question that I been thinking about
every since I was 15.
(laughs)
And I never could find anybody that I could ask to,
you know, cuz I would have to look somebody in the eye
and be like, "Ayeeeeeee."
It's weird to even ask a woman, like,
"Hey, um, pardon me,
(laughs)
"how do I blow myself?"
(laughs)
And it's even hard to ask a guy that, you know what I mean?
"Aye bro, what up, 10-10, it's a nice shirt."
(laughs)
"Aye man, you ever thought about blowin' yourself before?"
(laughs) Like,
So in my mind I could ask this machine, cuz this machine
do not know me, it will not judge me.
So, I was like "Boop-boop. Siri,
"how do I blow myself?
"Boop-boop. Byron it is physically
"impossible for you to blow yourself unless you remove
"two of your ribs at your lower abdomen,
"like Marilyn Manson did. Boop-boop."
(laughs)
"Boop-boop. So you saying it's possible that
"I could still blow myself, Siri?"
(laughs)
"Boop. Yes Byron, it is possible that you'll blow yourself.
"Boop-boop. Siri, how much would a self-blowjob
"investment cost,"
(laughs)
"and what's the return on that investment?"
(laughs)
"Boop-boop. I will Google it for you."
"No, don't Google it."
(laughs)
You do not want that in your cookies.
(laughs) (clapping)
Thank y'all.
(clapping)
(upbeat music)
(beep-beep)
Siri, I need a happy ending.
(beep-beep)
- I found three places that do
happy endings fairly close to you.
(beep-beep)
- Siri, are you racist?
(beep-beep)
- We were talking about you, not me.
(loud bang)
- (mumbles) That's how you reset a iPhone.
(clapping) (drum beats)
- Byron Bowers.
(clapping)
(upbeat music)
(paper shuffling)