Hey there.
Adam LoDolce from sexyconfidence.com where I help the 21st century woman create a love
life that she absolutely freaking loves.
In this video, right now, I'm going to be talking about the five things that you can't
change in any man.
Keep watching.
Now, there's a famous basketball coach from the Celtics, Go Celts, named Red Auerbach
and he had a very famous quote that said "You can't teach tall" and what's he's saying is
look there's just some things that you just can't change about a player and just like
I'm never going to be an NBA player, there are just some things that are really hard
to change in a man that you're seeing.
No matter how much you try, these things will not change.
As an obvious bonus point here, if you're dating a short guy, you can't change his height.
Here are the five things that you can't change in any man.
Number one.
The wondering eye.
Now a study by Denver University found that if someone cheats once then the likelihood
that he's going to cheat again or that person's going to cheat again is three times that of
someone who's never cheat.
Cheat on my once, shame on you, cheat on me twice, shame on me.
It's really difficult to bounce back from cheating and quite frankly if he's a cheater
once, he's probably going to do it again.
Number two is his temperament.
Relax.
Stop relaxing so much.
Stop relaxing.
Look, in many ways we are just born with our temperament.
Maybe you're with a guy who's super anxious, maybe you're with a guy who's super lazy,
maybe you're with a guy who is a little bit loud, maybe you're with a guy who's a little
soft.
These are the types of things that you can't necessarily change in a person.
It's either you enjoy being with that person, you enjoy spending time with them or you don't
and if you don't, then stop trying to change them, move on, find someone new.
Number three is his abusive or controlling nature.
Look, if he's emotionally or certainly physically abusive you got to leave now.
He can't change.
He's going to try, he's going to work on it, but real men want women to be their best selves,
not try to knock them down figuratively or literately to make themselves feel better.
If you are in any type of emotional or certainly physically abusive relationship you need to
leave now, move on before it does certainly emotional damage or certainly even physical
damage.
You've got to leave that and if you need help with that we're going to leave some resources
there in the links that are going to help you to get out of the relationship and find
a healthy place for yourself
Number four is the thoughts on marriage and children.
If he doesn't want to have kids and you do, you've got to listen to him.
Unfortunately, if that's the case then you're just incompatible with one another.
You have different values.
Don't waste your best years trying to change a man who's not planning on changing.
If you wake up at 45 with no kids and the same guy and you blame that guy for not having
kids, then you are in the wrong.
He told you from the very beginning that he didn't want to have kids, he was open with
you about that.
You've got to listen to him and if that's something that you want, then stop trying
to force it on him.
You've got to have that courage and that discipline to be able to move on and find something that
really does work for you and your lifestyle and your goals.
Number five is his family and his upbringing.
You dating a mamma's boy or does he have a sister that absolutely drives you crazy?
At the end of the day, you've got to accept it.
Family's not something that we can necessarily choose and if he has someone in his life or
his family is a little bit off beat or maybe he has some insecurities about where he came
from, those are things that he can't change.
They're heart ingrained in who he is, his upbringing, and also these are the people
that he'll almost definitely have to surround himself with, so accept it and don't always
try to change it because, you know what, it's probably not going to change.
Now, here's the thing, as I was creating this video I realized that a lot of people say
that you can't change anything about your partner and I think that's very clich� advise
because I actually disagree.
I do think that, although, the past five things I mentioned are not things that you can change,
I think that you can change certain things about a person if they are open minded to
change and improvement.
That person, of course, has to be adaptable to change.
A woman can't change a man because she loves him, but a man can change himself because
he loves her.
As a bonus to you in this video, I want to include some things that I believe are changeable
in someone if, of course, you're with a person who is open minded.
First one is you can teach someone to cater to your needs.
By expressing why those needs are actually important to you and why they are emotionally
important to you, then he's going to be so much more likely to meet those needs than
if he doesn't even understand why they're important.
For example, if you feel special when he cooks you Sunday dinner, then you know what, tell
him that it makes you feel really special.
He's going to suddenly understand that's why you want him to do that and, you know what,
he's going to so much more likely to do it.
Next, you can teach someone how to communicate better.
If he has trouble communicating his emotions, you can coach him on it a little bit.
Are you frustrated that I said you'll never be an NBA player or the fact that you'll never
be an NBA player?
Finally, you can teach him how a great relationship works.
Now, maybe he's never had a great relationship and maybe he's never had a great role model
in his life to show him the best way to be in a relationship, but as you get to know
each other, as you go along in this relationship, there are moments, there are critical moments
where you can set your boundaries and let him know what is appropriate and what is inappropriate
in a great healthy relationship.
So long as you're with the right type of open-minded person, then you know what, suddenly you can
create change.
I hope you found all of this really useful and I want to ask you, have you ever tried
to change a boyfriend or a husband?
How did it go?
Leave a comment right there below.
Also, if you enjoyed this video, please give it a like on YouTube and also don't forget
to subscribe on YouTube for more videos just like this every single week.
Finally, if you want a ton of resources that are going to help you through every single
stage of dating, relationships, and love don't forget to click right here or head on over
to sexyconfidence.com where I'm going to be able to help you with everything you need
to stage A to stage Z of relationships.
Thank you again and I'll speak to you next week.