THE LINDA LINDAS, THEY'RE HERE
PERFORMING ON THE SHOW. THEY'VE GOT AN ALBUM COMING OUT,
ALL OF THE MEMBERS OF THE BAND ARE STILL IN SCHOOL.
I MEAN THAT WAS MY DREAM. THAT WAS IT.
WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST BAND, REFNLG, WHAT WAS THE FIRST BAND
WERE YOU INNESS WE WERE CALLED THE AUTUMN ASYLUM.
>> James: UH-HUH. >> Reggie: AND WE WERE
BASICALLY, WE JUST KIND OF DID PRETTY CLOSE RIPOFFS OF OUR
INFLUENCES SO RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, THE CURE, AND OH AND A
LITTLE BIT OF-- IN LIVING COLOR, LIVING COLOR.
>> NOT IN LIVING COLOR, THE LIVING COLOR, BUT IT WAS FUN, I
PLAYED KEY-BASE AND A SANG. >> James: KEY BASS.
>> James: HAGAR, WHAT WAS THE FIRST BAN YOU WERE IN CALLED.
>> I DON'T REMEMBER. >> James: YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
>> IT WAS LIKE A THOUSAND YEARS AGO.
>> James: YOUR FIRST BAND. >> WE WERE IN A FUNNY NAMED BAND
WHAT WAS YOUR. >> NICE TURN AROUND THERE HAGAR.
>> James: I WAS IN PRETTY BIG BAND BACK IN THE DAY.
>> THEY HAD RAY GOOD NAME. >> James: THEY WERE BIG IN THE
HIGH WYCOMBE AREA. I WAS IN THREE BANDS.
THE FIRST BAND WE WERE CALLED, A BOY BAND AND WE WERE CALLED FULL
FRONTAL. WE NEVER ACTUALLY PLAYED A SHOW
OR WROTE A SONG. WE JUST WALKED AROUND SAYING WE
WERE A BAND. THEN I WAS IN A BAND CALLED,
ANOTHER BOY BAND CALLED INSATIABLE.
>> Reggie: THAT'S NEWS. >> James: BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T
GET ENOUGHZ ARE WAS IT SPELT FUNNY.
>> James: WE WERE A PROPER BAND.
>> Reggie: RIGHT. >> James: A COOL BAND,
INSATIABLE. AND THEN I WAS IN A BAND CALLED
TWICE SHY WHICH IS ONLY FOR THE REASON THAT WE COULD CALL OUR
FIRST ALBUM ONE-- AND THAT WAS MOSTLY QUEEN COVERS.
IT WAS ALL QUEEN COVERS BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE A GUITAR PLAYER.
WHICH DOES MAKE QUEEN DIFFICULT TO DO.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING LIKE-- . >> KIND OF LIKE YOU WERE PLAYING
THE GAME OF THRONES THEME JUST THERE.
>> James: NO, THAT IS THE-- BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY.
♪. >> I'M STILL HEARING GAME OF
THRONES. >> I'M HEARING STAR TREK.
>> James: WELL, THEN THEY RIPPED IT OFF FROM QUEEN.
>> YEAH. >> James: BUT IT IS THAT TIME,
IT IS THE TIME YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, AMERICA.
IT IT IS THE NEWS. AND TODAY WAS GROUNDHOG DAY, ONE
OF, LET'S BE HONEST, THE MOST RIDICULOUS DAYS ON THE AMERICAN
CALENDER. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY TO
EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED TODAY. YOU CAN WATCH FOR YOURSELVESES.
>> WITH MY SHADOW I HAVE CAST, THEN A LONG, SIX MORE WEEKSES OF
WINTER. SIX MORE WEEKS, SIX MORE WEEKS,
SIX MORE WEEKS. SIX MORE-- .
>> James: I MEAN YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH SCIENCE.
NOW THIS IS NEWS TO ME. I THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT
THE WHOLE EVENT TAKES PLACE IN PENNSYLVANIA ON SOMETHING CALLED
GOBBLER'S KNOB, THAT'S WHERE IT HAPPENS, GOBBLER'S KNOB.
>> PUNXSUTAWNEY. >> James: DO YOU THINK THEY
STARTED THIS TRADITION WITH THE GROUNDHOG AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE
THEY WERE LIKE WE'VE GOT TO DISTRACT PEOPLE FROM THE NAMED
GOBBLER'S KNOB, JUST TELL EVERYONE WE HAVE A MAGIC
GROUNDHOG, THAT WILL DO IT. GOBBLER'S KNOB.
I'M AMAZED WE CAN EVEN SAY THAT ON TV.
WE SHOULD HAVE A LITTLE GOBBLER'S KNOB HERE AT THE
"LATE, LATE SHOW." WE SHOULD HAVE AN AREA THAT WE
CALL, A DESIGNATED PLACE AND WE JUST CALL IT GOBBLER'S KNOB.
>> CAN YOU SAY KNOB GOBBLER'S. >> James: YOU CAN SAY-- YOU
PROBABLY CAN'T SAY KNOB GOBBLER, CAN YOU?
ROB, CAN YOU SAY KNOB GOBBLER? YOU CAN SAY KNOB GOBBLER.
>> I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW, I WANT TO SAY THAT IS ALL RIGHT.
>> James: KNOB GOBBLER. >> Reggie: FEELS GOOD.
>> IN THIS INSTANCE, YEAH. I MEAN WE'RE NOT-- WE'S JUST
SAYING KNOB GOBBLER. >> James: WELL, THAT IS THE
ISSUE, WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SAY GOBBLER'S KNOB IF THERE WAS
A PICTURE OF A [BLEEP]. >> WHAT I CALL A [BLEEP]
>> James: MOVING ON. THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS JUST
HIT AN ALARMING NEW MILESTONE. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER THE
UNITED STATES NATIONAL DEBT HAS SURPASSED 30 TRILLION DOLLARS.
WHICH IS INCREDIBLY HE CAN PRESSING.
YOU KNOW WHAT WHAT MIGHT LIFT YOUR SPIRITS, AMERICA.
A LITTLE RETAIL THERAPY, BABY. >> MY MAN.
>> James: THIS COMES OUT TO $90,000 OF DEBT FOR EVERY
AMERICAN. AND NOW IT SEEMS LIKE THE
PERFECT TIME TO REMIND YOU THAT I, JAMES CORDEN, AM BRITISH.
THAT IS A HUGE NUMBER, 30 TRILLION.
APPARENTLY MOST OF THAT DEBT STEMS FROM A VHS COPY OF WHO
FRAMED ROGER RABBIT THAT THE UNITED STATES RENTED FROM CHINA
IN 1991. DID EVERYBODY HEAR ABOUT THIS,
THE WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM FINALLY ANNOUNCED THEIR NEW NAME
THIS MORNING. THEY ARE NOW CALLED THE
WASHINGTON COMMANDERS. I MEAN CALL THEM WHATEVER YOU
WANT, THEY HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO COMMAND A WINNING SEASON SINCE
OBAMA WAS IN OFFICE. TO GIVE YOU AN IDEA OF HOW FANS
REACTED SHORTLY AFTER THE ANNOUNCEMENT, THIS IS TRUE, THE
WORD TERRIBLE TRENDED ON TWITTER WHICH IS SURPRISING CONSIDERING
HOW TWITTER IS NORMALLY SO WELCOMING AND SO POSITIVE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE, HAVE DONE WHAT
KAYNE DID AND CHANGE THEIR NAME FROM WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM TO
WA. >> Reggie: I THINK IT IS A
GOOD OPPORTUNITY TO MAYBE COBRA COMMANDER.
>> James: COBRA COMMANDER, YEAH, OR WHAT IF THEY WENT IT
WITH THE CASH TON COMMANDOS, AND THE WHOLE THING IS WHEN YOU GO
TO A GAMEK YOU DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR AND YOU JUST WAVE IT
TBOF YOUR HEAD. AND THES MASCOT COULD JUST BE A
COMPLETELY NAKED MAN, LIKE WAIT. THE WASHINGTON COMMANDOS.
I LOVE THAT, THINK OF THE BRANDING OPPORTUNITIES IT, THAT
IS WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH.
LET'S GO COMMANDO. LET'S GO COMMANDO!
AND EVERYONE IS LIKE LET'S DO IT!
THIS IS AN ODD STORY. IN SWEDEN HAS ANNOUNCED PLANS
FOR AN UNUSUAL SOLUTION TO LITTERING.
THEY'RE GOING TO TRAIN CROWS TO PICK UP CIGARETTE BUTTS.
THERE IS NO WAY THIS DOESN'T LEAD TO ARMIES OF CROW FLYING
AROUND JUST RIPPING CIGARETTES OUT OF PEOPLE'S MOUTHS.
I LOVE THAT INSTEAD OF TEACHING PEOPLE TO BE RESPONSIBLE
CITIZENS WE'RE LIKE NO, LET'S TRAIN THE CROWS TO PICK UP AFTER
US. DO THAT.
PRETTY AMAZING. THIS COULD LEAD TO MUCH CLEANER
CITIES AS WELL AS LET'S BE HONEST, MUCH COOLER LOOKING
CROWS. IS THERE AN ANIMAL WE COULD
TRAIN AROUND THE OFFICE? IT TWOO.
>> IT WOULD BE GREAT TO GET LOUIE HELPING OUT A LITTLE BIT.
>> James: NO CHANCE, ZERO, NO CHANCE, NEVER LIFTED A FINGER IN
HIS LIFE. >> AGREED.
>> James: HEY, NATE'S BIRTHDAY, TODAY, EVERYBODY.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NATE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
>> WAS IT? >> James: DID YOU GET
EVERYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRED TODAY?
>> EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER NEEDED.
>> James: ARE YOU HAPPY TO SHARE THIS WITH THE NATION?
HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY, NATE. >> I WILL SHARE T I'M 38 YEARSES
OLD. >> James: 38 YEARS OLD.
BEAUTIFUL. >> YEAH.
>> James: BEAUTIFUL. >> BUT I LOOK 28.
AND I FEEL 62. >> James: WELL, HAPPY
BIRTHDAY, NATE, WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU.
>> THANKS. >> James: HERE'S THE STORY
THAT CAUGHT OUR EYE, A DECOMMISSIONED BRITISH AIRWAY'S
JET HAS JUST BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO A UNIQUE EVENT SPACE THAT
YOU CAN RENT OUT AT 1 U.K. AIRPORT.
RENT THE PARTY COST $1300 AN HOUR.
HERE IT IS HERE. LOOK AT THAT.
NOW UNLESS IT FLIES YOU CAN'T REALLY CALL IT A PARTY PLANE IT
IS JUST A TUBE. IT IS A REALLY INCONVENIENTLY
LOCATED PARTY TUBE. WHERE DID YOU HAVE IT, OH, IN A
PARTY TUBE. TOOK AN HOUR AND A HALF TO GET
THERE. ALTHOUGH NOW YOU KNOW WHEN YOU
ARE BRUTALLY HUNGOVER AT WORK YOU CAN JUST SAY JET LAG.
I DON'T THINK I WOULD EVER WANT TO DO THAT, WOULD YOU WANT TO GO
ON A PARTY PLANE THAT DOESN'T MOVE?
>> NO, NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
ALL I WANT TO DO ON A PLANE IS KRIE WHILE WATCHING MY BEST
FRIEND'S WEDDING AND FALL ASLEEP.
THAT IS BASICALLY IT YOU CRY WATCHING MOVIESK REG, WHAT IS
YOUR GO TO KRIE MOVE WREE? >> YOU KNOWK WHAT ACTUALLY, THE
SCENE OUT OF GOOD WIL HUNTING, YOU KNOW WHAT WHEN ROBYN
WILLIAMS IS REPEATING A PHRASE. >> James: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
>> OH MY GOD, I LOSTED IT. THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER
EXPERIENCED LIKE TWO MEN IN THAT SITUATION AND ONE IS KIND OF
BEING TOUGH AND JUST BREAKS THROUGH AND KEEPS NAILING IT AND
FINALLY HE JUST-- I WAS LIKE-- . >> James: WHAT IS THE ONE, YOU
KNOW WHAT MAKES ME KRIERKS THE ONE WHERE MA CALLIE GETS
STUNNING BY A BEE. >> MY GIRL.
>> OH, GOD. HE CAN'T SEE WITHOUT HIS
GLASSES. >> James: THIS IS MAKING ME
CRY EMOTIONALLY. THAT FILM, IS SO BEAUTIFUL.
I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT FOR A LONG TIME.
>> ME NEITHER. [BLEEP]
>> James: I'M NOT EVEN JOKING, DID YOU SAY HE NEEDS-- REALLY
GOT TO ME. SORRY.
AND DID EVERYBODY HEARD ABOUT THIS.
THE GOVERNMENT OF AUSTRALIA HAS JUST BACKED A FOUR YEAR PROJECT
TO TEST OUT A NEW KIND OF FERTILIZER IN CITY PARKS, HUMAN
URINE. YEAH.
THIS IS PLAN NUMBER ONE, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT PLAN
NUMBER TWO. THEY'RE TESTING HUMAN URINE TO
FERTILIZE CITY PARKS OR AS THE GUY WALKING HOME FROM THE BAR
PUT IT, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M GARDENING.
DOES THIS, WITHOUT T IS HUMAN URINE GOOD FERTILIZER FOR
PLANTS, LONDON WOULD LOOK LIKE THIS.
AND FINALLY, A WOMAN HAS GONE VIRAL AFTER SHE GOT THIS TATTOO
OF ROCKET THE RACCOON. YOU KNOW, THE MARVEL GARDEN FROM
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, SHE GOT IT ON THE ARM AND WAS HAPPY WITH
THE TATTOO UNTIL LATER WHEN SHE NOTICED THAT ROCKET'S KNEE CAP
MAYBE LOOKED LIKE SHE HAD A TATTOO OF A, WELL, SEE IF YOU
CAN SEE IT FOR YOURSELF. >> I MEAN IT COULD BE WORSE, IT
COULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE A RIDICULOUS TALKING RACCOON FROM
A COMIC BOOK. ROCKET THE RACCOON.
YOU HAVE A ROCKET, ALL RIGHT. CAN WE SEE IT AGAIN.
SHE SHOULD TAKE THAT TO GOBBLER'S KNOB AND SEE WHAT
HAPPENS. NOW I JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR WITH
THE CENSORS HERE AT CBS, THAT IS A KNEE CAP.
NO NEED TO BLUR IT, IT IS A KNEE CAP T IS THE WORLD'S FIRST FULLY
CIRCUMCISED KNEE CAP. THAT IS THE NEWS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY.