Why do men stop chasing and how do you keep a guy chasing right throughout the dating
process? Hey, it's Mark here from Make Him Yours and today we are talking about how to
keep a guy chasing in dating. Stay tuned.
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Welcome to the video and today, we are talking about why do men stop chasing and how to keep
a guy chasing. So I was talking to a lovely, lovely client of mine, a young lady named
Jess and she was telling me that "Mark, men text me lots at the beginning. They're always
texting, they're always putting in the effort and then we go on a date, maybe two. That
connection is awesome. I'm really feeling it. This guys, this guy's good. We connected
so well. We had such a great vibe together and then afterwards, the effort levels are
never the same. My guy doesn't text as much, he doesn't put in the same amount of effort
he was. Things just don't feel the way they did. Why do guys always stop chasing me, Mark,
and what do I do to keep a guy chasing?"
If you know much about this channel, if you've really watched any of my content, you'll have
probably seen the How To Make Him Chase You video. In that video, I talk about five crucially
important points to get a guy to chase and to keep them chasing. Today, I want to focus
on two of those points and a common mistake women make relating to two of those points
that stops the guy chasing. The second point in that video was don't stop being single.
Essentially, holding onto a single but dating mindset when you're meeting men, valuing your
exclusivity and even when you find a good connection, staying both officially and unofficially
single.
The other point that I talked about in that video that's relevant to Jess and possibly
to you, if you're finding that guys put an effort at the beginning, then stop chasing
as much was point number three, raise your standards for love. And what I'm really talking
about there essentially is having high standards for the people you give your love to. Knowing
that your love, that the gift of that in your life is the most valuable thing that you can
possibly offer to a man and having high standards for that and what you expect from men before
you give them that. If you're finding like Jess that guys are texting a lot, they're
putting a lot of effort in at the beginning and then after a short amount of time, a couple
of dates, you're really feeling the connection and then the guys stopped putting in as much
effort. They're not ghosting, but they're not chasing the way they were then it's likely
that you're violating one or both of these principles. See, let's talk about chasing
for just one moment. We always say invest in a man who invest in you, chase a man who
chases you, but you have to remember the same principle applies to men.
You don't chase men who don't chase you because you know it costs yourself respect to do so.
But the same is true for a man. If a man chases and chases a woman who's not chasing him back,
then how much self-respect does he have? He knows to chase people who chase him too. So
this balance of chaser-chasee relationship gets formed and as your relationship moves
forward, this balance continues. And this is something that healthy partners will always
do for each other. It's a lifelong habit of great relationships. You know, you have days
where he's a bit more doing his own thing and you're doing more stuff for him, but then
that pattern reverses and you're doing more your own thing and he's chasing you. It's
a natural balance and it starts in dating. So if you're finding like Jess that men are
chasing a lot at the beginning, but then slowing significantly once there's a good connection,
it's likely that that is happening because this balance is being thrown out.
You see, for Jess at the very beginning, before she'd even gone on a date, she wasn't sold.
She was thinking things like, "Oh, wait, and see what this guy's got." She was thinking
things like, "I think he's attractive, but I'm going to let him prove himself." She was
taking her time to assess the guy and the guy could sense that and that natural balance
of chaser-chasee was occurring. The problem was after a couple of good dates and a good
connection, Jess was then finding herself thinking things like, "this is a great connection.
I don't want to mess this up like he's so attractive. I hope that thing that I said
or did didn't freak him out." She was thinking, "I really want this to work. I don't want
to blow it with this guy. I hope he keeps chasing me."
The natural balance had been thrown off. She wasn't staying single mentally. She was starting
to go, "Okay, I really want this to work. I want this guy." She started to mentally
commit to him. Even if she wasn't officially committed. She was already thinking of him
as boyfriend material to give her love to on a long-term basis without having high standards
for it. She was violating those two principles. The balance of chasing had been thrown off
and the guy could feel it, so the guy stopped chasing. The guy stopped investing in the
same way while she was thinking, I really don't want to stuff this up. This connection
is amazing. He was still thinking, "Yeah she's attractive but I'll wait and see."
He was still selling himself. She was sold. The balance had been thrown off and this is
why the guys had stopped chasing. And if you're finding men stop chasing you once a great
connection has been formed, it's likely that this is why guys have stopped chasing you.
So what's the root cause of this problem? It's coming from a place of scarcity. If you
don't have many men in your life, if you haven't made many good connections, then when you
find one you're going to go vroom! "This guy's great. I need to make this happen. I need
to not stuffed this up" and not go, "Wait a minute, it's only been two dates. I need
to let this guy prove himself. I have massive standards for my exclusivity because that
is the most important thing I have and I have even higher standards for my love cause that's
even more important than my exclusivity."
Such a big focus gets put on sex, and sex is important, but it's not as important as
exclusivity and that's not as important as love and got to have high standards for both
of these things and not throw them to the first guy that you find a good connection
with. Sell yourself on men over time. Qualify men over time and start that by finding out
that there are lots of good connections out there. There's going to be lots of men you
connect with. Jess' inbox had 70 messages in it, 70 with the profile that we designed
together. This is not something that most men can have. This is the abundance that a
lot of women have at their fingertips, but you've got to use it. You've got to use that
non-exclusivity to meet lots of men. Find those connections and rather than coming from
a place of scarcity, when you have those connections in abundance, you'll realize that "Hey, good
connections are common but true compatibility. True men that meet my standards, who are worthy
of me going exclusive for them, giving my love to. That's what's rare."
Look to for more abundance. Most women are too selective at the beginning, Jess was very
choosy with the men she went on dates with, but then was much less choosy once she found
one that had a good connection that she had a good connection with. She was extremely
choosy at the start, but then less choosy once she found one she liked. You want to
do the opposite to create abundance and help reinforce these two mindsets. Be least choosy
at the beginning, form lots of connections, and then get increasingly more choosy as time
goes on. Be more and more selective with men and qualify them over time. Don't stop being
single. Keep a single but dating mindset over the weeks and the first couple of months dating
a guy and raise your standards for love. Have high standards and remember that your
love is the most valuable thing that you can possibly give to a man.
Value it for what it is, respect it, and don't consciously give it over to the first guy
you find a good connection with because it's worth a hell of a lot more than that. That
is why men stop chasing and keeping these mindsets in mind is how to keep the guy chasing.
Well, that's it. Thanks for watching. Uh, what did you think? Let me know. Leave your
thoughts, questions, comments in the area below. Give the video a thumbs up and make
sure, obviously you subscribe. Hit the little bell so you get the notifications and I'll
see you in the next video really soon.
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