"I love to be hated, and I hate to be loved." is a quote from Sam Vaknin, a narcissist and
author.
This sentence might be extended to say that a narcissist loves to be despised, loves to
be loved, and loves to hate.
This would be a more accurate representation of the narcissist's mindset.
When dealing with narcissists, one of the most common concerns individuals have is whether
or not the narcissist despises them.
The correct response is "yes."
Your life contains a narcissist who detests you with all of their beings.
Today’s video is all about why a narcissist may hate you.
Jealousy
The first explanation, which also happens to be the most straightforward, is that they
are envious.
Narcissists are incapable of enjoying the success of others and cannot accept it.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that they feel angry about it.
They are constantly under the impression that it should be them rather than you, and they
believe that they have a greater right to it than you do.
Your Success Reflects Bad on Them
They are concerned that their reputation would suffer due to your achievements.
It is possible, for instance, that the workplace standards that they will be judged on in the
years to come will become more stringent as a result of this.
They must always be number one, the best, and the most important, which may provide
them with the problem of having to develop themselves to meet these expectations.
You Don't Deserve success.
They believe that you did not put in the necessary effort to achieve your achievement or that
it came too quickly to you.
For instance, some narcissists would automatically disregard your achievements simply because
you lack what they consider to be the appropriate level of education or expertise.
They have a picture of what a successful person should be like, and you don't fit that mold.
But it's only natural that they think they are.
Familiarity.
It's been said that such behavior inspires contempt, and this adage couldn't be more
accurate when discussing narcissists.
A narcissist might be quick to say something like, "Isn't he the same old John I grew up
with, went to school with, and partied with — who does he think he is now?" or "Isn't
he the same old John I went to school with and partied with – who does he think he
is now?"
The narcissist views your achievement as a type of betrayal toward him (it's always about
him!)
– A betrayal of the person you used to be or should still be in his perspective.
This is because the narcissist is obsessed with their self-importance.
Unstable Identity.
Because narcissists have a very fluid sense of identity, it is not uncommon for them to
try to take on their partners' capabilities, interests, or hobbies.
They will interfere in every facet to take control of it and turn it into something that
revolves around them.
They despise you because they are unable to do what you do.
Even though they put a lot of effort into imitating the identity or personality of someone
else, at their core, they are still the same person.
Your very existence brings back painful memories for them, and as a result, they despise you
with a burning passion.
For instance, if you are an accomplished painter, the narcissist may decide to learn how to
paint to compete with you.
Isn't this a pleasant thing?
Something that the two of you can engage in together.
Wrong.
The narcissist is completely uninterested in spending time with the group.
They have only discovered a means by which they might garner attention and recognition.
Now they want to participate in it themselves.
There is an issue with that, and that problem is you.
It's a problem that you're also a painter in addition to everything else you do.
You are stealing the spotlight from them, and making matters worse, you perform better
than they are.
It is expected of partners who are talented, charismatic, or otherwise gifted to "tone
it down" so as not to outshine the narcissist or give the narcissist credit that they do
not deserve for things they did not do.
Authority.
Narcissists are people who believe they are better than other people.
Because of this, they abhor being controlled and any kind of power being exerted over them.
They despise having to answer to other people or being told what to do by other people.
It should come as no surprise that most people in positions of authority do not enjoy collaborating
with narcissists.
Their unpredictable responses to even the most fundamental instructions make them challenging
to work with.
Any hint of charge challenges their innate needs for power and control.
Vulnerability.
Narcissists frequently have a tendency to erect a subtle wall around themselves.
They despise the sensation of being vulnerable and weak.
Being filled with various feelings causes people to feel his manner.
Additional evidence supports the notion that they are incapable of genuinely loving deeply.
They are always on the verge of doing something and are prepared to act whenever anything
requires it.
Because of this, they don't have many relationships that stay for a long time, and it's because
of you that they detest themselves.
Hearing the word "No."
First and foremost, a narcissist's list of pet peeves is when they are told "no," and
then the "no" is followed through.
They despise those who refuse to give in to their demands.
Narcissists are accustomed to using deception, manipulation, and other underhanded tactics
to acquire what they desire.
They don't understand why you would say no, making them agitated and bewildered when they
receive a negative response.
Public Humiliation.
The embarrassment alone is horrible, let alone the humiliation that occurs in public.
Narcissists are unable to cope with actual or perceived instances of public humiliation.
They simply cannot bear to face the possibility of failing.
They view being embarrassed in front of others as the highest possible level of failure.
The egos of narcissists are notoriously fragile, as is common knowledge.
They hate you when you ignore them.
Suppose you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source of fulfillment.
They may grow agitated and strive even more challenging to get your attention, particularly
in potentially harmful or abusive ways.
Due to the fragile nature of their egos, narcissists become enraged when they are ignored.
They will experience shame, which will cause them to strike out at you to defend themselves.
They can’t see you happy.
Those who have strong tendencies toward narcissism despise it when other people succeed.
This is due to a variety of factors.
First and foremost, the source of genuine joy is found within oneself.
People who suffer from narcissism cannot experience real enjoyment because they severely or perhaps
entirely lack a sense of who they are as authentic people.
As a direct consequence of this, they are consistently miserable people who make valiant
efforts to feel better by continually regulating their weak and warped sense of self-esteem.
They look for many external incentives that they believe will raise their status, such
as expensive objects, sex, power, money, and even family, among other things.
Sadly, this is not enough to make one feel content and joyful.
They are oblivious that the source of genuine joy, contentment, and fulfillment lies within
oneself.
When other people succeed, people who tend toward narcissism are reminded that they do
not have happiness in their lives and are inherently inadequate.
People that have strong narcissistic tendencies are miserable, and on top of that, they believe
they are entitled to everything.
As a result, it fills them with jealousy and anger when they witness another person succeeding.
When you lecture them.
Now here's a point that might genuinely make them lose their cool!
It is not unusual for people who suffer from mental illness to accept their exaggerations
and to be able to persuade themselves and others, for that matter, that they are authorities
in specific fields.
Whether they believe they are entirely up to speed with current affairs, international
policy, or even football history, they will resent anyone else who intrudes on their self-proclaimed
domain and claims to know a thing or two about it.
Jealousy is another factor at play here.
It plays a role in making people feel threatened and undermined by people they evidently regard
to be below them on the social hierarchy.
When someone else steals the limelight.
Who would have the audacity to take the glory of a narcissist?
If you choose to do so, you had better be ready to face the narcissist's wrath.
The situation is that these public figures cannot abide the concept that anyone in their
inner circle could succeed or do better than they do.
They emphasize winning, where being in second place is entirely out of the question.
You have no influence or power over what narcissists say or do.
You are the only person who can control yourself and your responses.
The narcissists will unleash the full force of their hatred toward you when they do so.
They will launch an all-out assault on you and do all in their power to knock you to
your knees.
They need to observe you being humiliated and feeling like you have no value.
When they exhibit hatred toward you and bring out their jealousy for you, you can be sure
that they will bring out their hatred.
Ignore those people.
In any case, there is nothing that can be done about it.
You will not prevail over them.
They will never be satisfied no matter what you do or don't do.
Don't bother trying it, then.
Don't worry about anything but living your life to the fullest and being fabulous.
Please use the Mindful Psychology end screen element attached and have the end screen end
with music and voiceover.
End video one second after the voiceover is finished.
What do you think?
Why do narcissists dislike being questioned?
Let us know in the comment section below.