- Are you ready to hear about boys?
(whimsical music)
- Today Kristin and I are entertaining Fred and Jen
with our old journal entries, because
why are we doing this?
- Um, because--
- Content.
- Why not?
- So I've kept journals on and off
from the time that I was five years old,
so I have like really, really silly journal entries.
- The fact that you still have them is pretty cool.
- When I was kid, I did it for fun,
and then when I became a teenager, I was like,
I must keep notes for my novel about my life,
which is of course very interesting to others.
- I think it's interesting.
- I think it's so interesting.
You have so many funny stories.
- Get ready to read about boys I don't care about anymore.
- I'm ready.
- So wait, I have a question though.
You've moved to different cities, you just take it,
you take all of them with you each time?
- I have a box full of like memorabilia
from like my life that comes along with me wherever I go.
- It's like a time capsule of Kristin.
- It is, which is very special,
but also is as you're about to see--
- I want to see, I want to see!
- Very, very stupid!
This is the first journal I ever had.
This is from, I wanna say 1991.
- Wow.
- I'm like five or six years old.
I'm reading off my phone because this is a photo.
Okay, diary, today I think I'll tell you about hmm, Rocky.
Rocky and Bullwinkle,
uh huh, my first crush on a cartoon character.
- And had the self-awareness to know!
- Yes!
- You were so...
- Smart.
- You were so smart as a little kid.
- Wow!
And then in (laughing)
and then in parentheses, duh.
- But you know, parentheticals.
- I mean really, does that matter?
- Does what matter, the crush?
- It doesn't matter that he's a cartoon character.
(laughing)
- I would have (beeping) that cartoon character.
- I'm going to bed with my pretend friend
in parentheticals Rocky, so we're clear.
- Bullwinkle's out of the picture.
You guys all need to know that it's Rocky.
(laughing)
- I feel like I knew you, like I do know you now,
but I also feel like I knew you as a little kid.
- [Kristin] This is my second diary, I'm seven years old.
- Wait, can we see what the sticker says?
- So it says hands off!
Kristin Chirico owns this!
(laughing)
This is March 22, 1992, so I'm seven years old.
- Okay.
- Dear diary, I need a life!
(gasping)
Birdwatching is not me!
(laughing)
I am a girl, not a watcher.
(laughing)
- Wait, keep going, keep going, I need more.
- What am I going to do?
Number one, stop birdwatching!
Number two, get a boyfriend.
(laughing)
- That's unrelated!
- Number three, get popular, but that does not help.
What am I going to do?
(laughing)
- I'm a girl, not a watcher!
- Why was birdwatching even an option?
- I don't know.
- Who was making you do this?
- I don't. (laughing)
- I'd rather imagine little baby Kristin
being like I'm gonna be a birdwatcher, god (beeping).
- Seven is when I start musing about love.
I think Peter is the cutest boy I have seen.
How I would like to be his friend, I am very pleased.
Love, and then in parenthesis, it seems like a nightmare.
(laughing)
- Wait.
You were so wise.
- So wise.
- This is my journal I kep the year I was 13.
- Good, yes.
Look at those stickers.
- Lisa Frank.
- Look at all these stickers.
- Kristin's journal, keep out, for her eyes only.
(laughing)
- Stickers.
So actually this is a very dramatic time of my life.
- It is for everyone. - Lots of it's going
on in my friend group, I'm changing all the names.
So if I know you, this is not you.
I am so confused, I can't decide
whether I like Kevin or Steve better.
Kevin is like my confidant, my friend, while Steve
and I like a lot of the same things.
- Here comes the pros and cons list.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Steve isn't exactly "cute" however,
it doesn't really matter though.
I've been thinking a lot about inner beauty and stuff.
(gasping)
It is very important.
- Yeah!
- Yeah it is.
- It is though.
- Kevin unfortunately has a girlfriend.
Lauren is okay I guess, but she is completely right
about how we'd make a cute couple.
Steve doesn't, but I know that girls have liked him.
Okay, weird girls, like Rachel.
- Oh my god, we do not give a (beeping) about Rachel.
(laughing)
- Actually no, I knew someone named Rachel in middle school,
that's not, I'm not talking about you.
Kevin is contemporary yet still angelic.
- Like, what does that mean?
Contemporary, he's a modern man.
- A lot of this is me talking about
what it would be like to kiss him.
- No, you gotta read that.
You have to read that!
(laughing)
Read it!
- Kissing him would feel,
I don't know even, almost unearthly.
I would want to keep that warmth by me forever.
(laughing)
- Yes.
This is drama.
This is movie.
(laughing)
- [Kristin] This is from my journal when I'm 15.
- Does it get racy?
- It gets really stupid.
In my mind, this was like an artifact
that like, years later, literary scholars
would find this and wonder my intentions
when I filled this book with words,
so this is what I wrote.
- Yes, good.
- To whom I bequeath this book is not yet determined.
- Bequeath.
Wait.
Oh we are in for a treat.
- For its many volumes have not yet
been spilled out onto its pages,
but to those who are not assured
that my words, meanings, and intentions are not the purest
of heart felt, do not take my opening verses
as your assurance, for their eloquence cannot truly compare
with the verses to follow, in which the very core
of my heart, no matter whom it has been captured by
is all that will ever matter in the end.
- It's so Shakespearean.
(laughing)
- Wow.
- I'm impressed.
- That's so poetic and lovely.
- So I was trying to explain why this one is like a little
bit harder to pick stuff from,
because a lot of it sounds like this.
Spent most of the day sleeping,
I felt a peculiar brooding evil about me
and did not want to torment it by arising.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Kristin that was like you were in Kingdom Hearts.
(laughing)
- Okay, I'm imagining you in like one of those peasant
like white, like nightgowns at a window.
- Yeah.
- A frock.
(laughing)
- I decided to write a YA novel
about myself when I was 13.
- Thank god.
- Kristin Chirico lived at a quiet street
in a quiet town that was, well, very quiet.
(laughing)
She was an ordinary girl with dark hair and brown eyes.
Her only real claim to fame when it came
to good looks were the blond highlights in her hair.
- Her claim to fame.
- My claim to fame.
Her way of thinking was often a handicap
when it came to all the other things
that so-called popular girls would do.
- She's not like other girls!
(laughing)
- I feel like I want to write a book
called she's exactly like other girls.
- Yeah.
- I had a friend named Stephanie who was like very beautiful
like got all the boys, and I was very jealous of her.
Stephanie was exactly the opposite of Kristin
in the way she thought, dressed, acted,
or more or less saw the world.
Stephanie had sunny blonde hair, blue eyes
and a perfect complexion, perfect.
(laughing)
- Perfect.
- Perfect is its own line, and has a period.
- Perfect.
I probably thought Stephanie was hot, honestly.
I probably was just like, (growling).
I was so gay, and I don't know what to do about it.
- I'm ready for the coffee table book of your journals.
- It's like very clear that you were like
super intelligent, really perceptive,
like a thoughtful kid, and that makes sense
considering who you are now,
but it's cool to see this,
because it's like you were creative
back then, you were like someone who had a lot
to say back then, and you were super expressive.
And you were funny,
whether or not you were trying to or not.
- Yeah.
- You weren't like other girls.
You were gayer.
(laughing)
- Wow that was beautiful.
- Lady tested, lady contemporary,
yet angelic.
- Poet, lorate, of yeah, you--
- The only way to follow that up is to put somebody else
under the magnifying glass, Devin.
(dramatic music)
- You handled childhood and teenage-hood,
I do have my Tumblr, which I kep all through college.
It was a night of firsts.
Spitted a little bit in my friend's face.
- I did see a lot of (beeping).
- Okay this just shows how naive.
(yelling)
- Does anyone like Daughtry?
(whimsical music)