(upbeat jazzy music)
- All clear!
- I can't believe I'm doing this.
(squeaky laughter)
(upbeat jazzy music)
(brakes squealing)
(siren wailing) (gasping)
- Be cool, be cool. - I am very--
- Ma'am, public urination is illegal.
- I, no, I was doing nothing of the sort.
- I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cite you.
May I see your ID, please? - What?
Okay, that's insane!
We're in Brooklyn, everybody pees everywhere--
- Drop your weapon! - Ahh!
- I don't know her. - Drop it!
- Free to go?
Just-- - Hey, get back here!
You drop it!
(upbeat jazzy music)
- This is complete bullshit.
(upbeat dance music)
- My favorite Doors album was playing on the record player.
As he unsnapped his bell bottoms
and I dipped my breast into his mouth,
my wild soul was reawakened by
his throbbing tongue on my nipple.
Was that sexy? - Oh.
Super sexy. - Yeah?
I thought I could maybe hit nipple a little harder.
- Oh, that's right!
(cup clinking)
You're a drug super-taster.
- I am? - Yeah!
Remember the lolli-pot in Jersey?
- What's a lolli-pot?
- It's a weird story from the past.
- You know what?
I'm gonna, I'm gonna go see the nurse.
- I'll go with you. - I'll go with you.
- We'll go with you. - No.
No.
Don't.
Just, stay.
- Okay. (chuckles)
(upbeat dance music)
(rattling)
- Eh.
(tapping footsteps)
(rattling)
(upbeat dance music)
(laughs) Yup, super-taster.
(laughing)
- I've got big news and I wanted to share it with you first
since I, I am your work wife.
Just your work wife, of course,
despite the salacious gossip in the bullpen.
I'm gonna be someone's real wife.
I'm engaged to Enzo. - That's wonderful, Diana.
Congratulations.
(clothing rustling)
- Do I have your blessing, Charles?
- Sure?
(sharp inhaling)
(nervous chuckling)
- It was spontaneous, so there's no ring yet.
People won't know unless it's announced.
Of course, I can't announce it.
That's like lighting your own birthday candles, it's--
- Would you like me to announce it, Diana?
- Oh, Charles.
You've always been able to read me like a book.
(slapping)
- Here she comes, put your hats on.
(screaming) (rustling)
- I don't see your van, Enzo.
Wha, how could I not know what it looks like?
I know what your face looks like, don't I?
- [Women] Surprise bachelorette!
- Get in the Hummer, bitch!
- Ooh, hey Lauren? - Yeah, what?
- Less. - Oh, okay, sorry.
(cheering)
- Okay, so how does this work?
- Oh, easy.
You just pick up and a $20 and you go like this, bam.
(paper rustling)
Oh. - Fascinating.
- Um, yeah. - Okay, so hold up this.
Anyone?
You're a lot, no thank you.
Uh, hi, little one.
Oh, he's athletic.
- I saw the prescription in the bathroom.
- Oh god, can you pretend that you didn't?
- No, it's fine, it's just that
that shit's loaded with chemicals
and you really should try a natural anti-fungal.
- Like what? - Boop.
- Garlic? - Yes.
(humming)
(clothing rustling)
- What are you doing to me?
- Trust me.
- Do you have garlic bread on the menu tonight?
- Oh, no. - Really?
'Cause I'm totally smelling it.
- Well, there's no bread.
You don't serve bread with polenta.
- It's as if someone is toasting an everything bagel.
- Maybe you're having a stroke.
- Oh my gosh, I just got it.
Is there something in the oven?
- Um, not exactly. - Ooh, ooh.
I just got a really big hit of it again.
Oh, it's like a garlic knot. - Yes!
You guys have a garlic knot haunting your apartment,
oh my god. - Or escargot.
(groaning approval)
- Ooh, I love escargot. - People are smelling me.
- I know, that's okay, it's natural.
- It's me, I'm the garlic knot.
Beth stuck a whole clove up my pussy.
- It's plant medicine and I think it smells fine.
- Maggie!
(laughing)
- I had to find something that would represent
your two worlds coming together.
Prepare yourselves.
(fabric rustling)
- I under-prepared. - The toilet is you, Enzo.
And Diana, you are the fish, a beautiful trota, like you.
- It's beautiful. (chuckles)
Right, Diana? - Look at the mouth.
Open, like yours.
I caught you. - Either you
or this ice sculpture will be at my wedding, not both.
Capiche? - I totes capiche.
- Damn.
(upbeat dance music)
'Kay.
(yelling)
Keepin' that pussy on ice
(camera snapping)
until we women get the respect we deserve.
(gasps) Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Dio mio! - Oh my god.
- I'm stuck, I'm stuck, please help.
I'm stuck like a tongue on a winter waterfall, my god.
(screaming)
- Don't move!
(whining)
If you pull a thread, you're gonna
unravel like an old sweater.
- (screams) Oh my god, my god.
(cracking)
(gasping)
- You ruined it. - I know, I know!
And it's my favorite part.
I think I left a bit of it up there.
Do you have a, a first aid kit or, ow, Anbesol, or--
- Yeah, yeah, in the office.
(tentative footsteps)
- Thank you. - Easy, easy.
(fading dance music)