-Were you nervous?
Did you meet any of your favorite NBA superstars?
-All right. So it was in Charlotte, right?
So, everybody's like, "You got to meet Michael."
Jordan, right? -Yeah.
-And, uh...
Come on, Quest. You know. -No, yeah, we know.
Know Michael, yeah. -It's M.J.
So...
No, look, when I -- I had a chance --
I met Michael Jordan before.
It was -- You know, the All-Star Game's a big deal for me.
In 2007, I wasn't invited,
but it was Michael Jordan's birthday in Las Vegas
at the All-Star Game.
I get a call from my friend.
He goes, "Yo, man, it's Michael's birthday in Vegas.
You in?" I go, "You had me at Michael."
I get in the Camry. I call up five of my friends.
-So, you get in the Camry immediately?
-Immediately.
I go, "It's Michael Jordan's birthday in Vegas.
Let's go." -You're not invited at all.
-Not invited. -No.
-I drive from L.A. overnight.
From L.A., boom, to Vegas. We get to the Bellagio.
I park my car at the front of the Bellagio.
I valet it. I'm like, "$20. Take it."
Who valets a Camry? I do.
We run to the front of the line.
There's all these people in line
to get into the Bellagio, the nightclub, right?
I'm just like, "Get out of the way.
I'm here to see Mike." -Yeah.
-They're like, "Excuse me." I'm like, "Excuse you.
Hello.
What's Michael's favorite flavor of Gatorade?
Orange. Get over there."
And I get to the front,
and the bouncer does that thing whenever they see, like,
a group of five men running towards them.
They're like, "Stop."
Penis tax -- $1,000.
$1,000 to get in.
I'm like, "Is my family hostage? $1,000?"
-Is that right? -So, I wait by the craps table.
I'm like, "Look, Michael walked in.
He's gonna walk out at some point.
We know how doors work. We know that."
-Yeah. Of course.
-So around 2:00, 3:00 in the morning,
he walks out, and I see the Steve Harvey suit.
-Yeah. -And I know it's him.
Like, all 17 buttons.
[ Laughter ]
And I just see him, and I just sprint towards Mike,
and I could just replay all the commercials in my head,
just like Nike, Wheaties, Hanes.
"Mike, I'm wearing Hanes right now."
[ Laughter ]
And I just reach out.
I'm reaching out for a high five.
Like, I want his chocolaty hand to touch my chocolaty hand.
-Yeah. -Just, like, validate me.
And he sees me.
And then he nods to his security guard like this,
and his security guard grabs me by the neck,
just lifts me up, and boom!
Just body-slams me into the ground,
and just ev-- the whole casino stops.
Like, even, like, old Filipino ladies
stopped playing blackjack.
They were like...
"Yo. Harold from 'Harold & Kumar' just got body-slammed."
It was actually Kumar.
And I look down at my shoes, and I'm wearing Air Jordans.
-Yeah. -So, I see the Jump Man.
I look up and I see the Jump Man.
And he just walked off into the night.
-Yeah, that's it.
-And I know your story, 'cause you met Mike.
-Yes, once I met Michael Jordan, yeah.
-No, again, Jimmy.
He met Michael Jordan, and you kissed him on the lips.
-Dude, we don't --
-No body slam.
Meanwhile, I go in for the high five,
and borderline a hate crime breaks out
in the Bellagio Casino.
-That's not a hate -- borderline hate crime.
Ridiculous. That's so --
When you do meet him, though,
he does not like a kiss on the lips.
Do not do that. -Okay.
-Do not do that. I'm very lucky I got way from that.
-I still wear Jordans to this day, though.
-Yeah, I love Michael Jordan, too, yeah.
Let's get back to, quickly, "Patriot Act."
Just once again, kudos to everybody,
to you and everyone working on that.
What subject are you tackling next?
-Oh, this week, we're doing student loan debt, so...
-Student loan debt. You guys got to check it out.
-Does anyone here have student loan debt?
[ Cheers ] -Oh, yeah.
-See what I'm saying? -Oh, we all do.
-Oh, yeah. -Hasan Minhaj, everybody.
Check out a brand-new episode of "Patriot Act"
streaming this Sunday on Netflix.