>>>
>>> THE
>>> THE TWEEN AND TEEN YEARS BRING A NEW SET OF CHALLENGES
FOR THEIR PARENTS AND CHILDREN.
THAT'S MY SON WITH HIS FRIENDS
MAX AND COOPER.
REMEMBER WHEN YOUR KIDS THOUGHT
THE OPPOSITE SEX HAD COOTIES?
NOW THEY ARE TEXTING.
ALL KINDS OF THINGS START
HAPPENING AT THIS POINT.
WE HAVE THE HORMONAL SHIFT AND
THE WHOLE BIT.
WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE BODY
THAT MAKES THEM SEEM LIKE THEY
ARE NOT THE KIDS YOU GAVE BIRTH
TO?
TO?
TO? >>
TO? >> SEX HORMONES.
>> IT IS STARTLING FOR THEM.
THEY HAVE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS
DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THEY HAVE
HAD BEFORE.
HAD BEFORE. THEY ARE SLOWLY MOVING TOWARD
ADULTHOOD AS THEY MATURE.
SLOWLY IS THE OPERATIVE WORD.
>> MY 16-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER GETS
A LOT OF ATTENTION FROM BOYS.
IS NOW THE RIGHT AGE TO GET HER
ON BIRTH CONTROL.
SHE IS 16 YEARS OLD.
I STILL GO BACK TO HOW WE WERE
MADE, 12 YEARS OLD YOU HAD
BABIES AND DIED AT 24.
WE ARE LIVING LONGER TODAY.
THAT PART OF US DIDN'T CHANGE.
IT IS NOT WEIRD THAT IT
HAPPENS.
HAPPENS.
HAPPENS. WE JUST ARE TRYING TO FIGHT
AGAINST NATURE.
AGAINST NATURE. >> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. I THINK IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT
THAT PARENTS DEVELOP OPEN
RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR
CHILDREN BEFORE TEENAGERS SO
THEY CAN TALK ABOUT DIFFICULT
ISSUES LIKE SEX AND SEXUALITY
AND BIRTH CONTROL AS CHILDREN
ARE READY TO HEAR IT.
>> SO MANY TIMES PARENTS ARE
AFRAID IF WE SAY WE ARE PUTTING
YOU ON BIRTH CONTROL YOU ARE
SAYING YES, GO AND HAVE SEX.
>> THERE IS NO EVIDENCE TO
SUGGEST THAT GIVING THEM BIRTH
CONTROL WILL MAKE THEM GO OUT
AND HAVE SEX.
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE
THE CONVERSATION AND ALLOW THEM
TO KNOW THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.
I WOULD ENCOURAGE THEM TO HAVE
A RELATIONSHIP WITH A PEDIATRIC
OR ADULT PROVIDER SO THEY CAN
DEVELOP THEIR OWN HEALTH
RELATIONSHIPS.
RELATIONSHIPS. THEN MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION
FOR THEM.
FOR THEM.
FOR THEM. THERE IS A LOT OF EVIDENCE TO
SUGGEST SIMPLY SAYING DON'T
HAVE SEX DOESN'T WORK.
>> WHEN KIDS SAY TO YOU WHERE
DO BABIES COME FROM?
>> YOU TELL THEM.
TELL THEM THE TRUTH.
HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT THAT.
AS JOAN IS SAYING, YOU HAVE TO
PREPARE THEM BEFORE THEY BECOME
13 AND HAVE CHANGES WHERE MEN,
IT IS A BIOLOGICAL DRIVE THAT
THEY HAVE TO FIGURE OUT.
THE OTHER ASPECT OF THIS, BY
THE WAY, IS WE HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING WITH THE MEDIA.
YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING WITH
THE SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE IMAGES
THAT WE KEEP PORTRAYING TO
YOUNG CHILDREN, AS IF THEY ARE
ALL SUPPOSED TO BE GROWN UP.
>> EMMA, WHO WORKS WITH US,
SAYS LOOK AT SHOWS GEARED
TOWARD TEENS.
TOWARD TEENS. THE KIDS IN HIGH SCHOOL ARE
LIKE 24 YEARS OLD.
THEY ARE COMPLETELY DEVELOPED.
WE ARE SAYING WE ALL REMEMBER
THE GIRL WHO DEVELOPED IN
SCHOOL BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE
DID.
DID.
DID. KIDS
DID. KIDS START COMPARING.
THEY ARE NOT A VICTORIA SECRET
MODEL.
MODEL.
MODEL. MY
MODEL. MY DAUGHTER WANTS HER OWN
SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNT BECAUSE
HER FRIENDS DO.
SHE IS NINE.
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO
INTRODUCE SOCIAL MEDIA?
>> I DON'T THINK THERE IS A
SPECIFIC AGE.
SPECIFIC AGE. IT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO MAKE AN
ASSESSMENT OF THE MATURITY OF
THE CHILD.
THE CHILD. HOW CAPABLE ARE THEY?
HOW TRUSTABLE ARE THEY?
THEN EXPERIMENT WITH IT.
I WOULD LIKE IT TO OCCUR LATER
THAN SOONER.
THAN SOONER. FOR ME, AROUND 13 OR 14, IS
AROUND THE RIGHT TIME.
>> SOMETIMES IT IS OKAY FOR
PARENTS TO HAVE ACCESS TO THE
INFORMATION.
INFORMATION. IF THEY HAVE A SOCIAL MEDIA
ACCOUNT -- WELL, ALWAYS.
>> WHEN YOU BY -- PAY THAT
BILL YOU CAN HAVE SOME CONTROL
OF YOUR PHONE.
>> PARENTS NEED TO KEEP AN EYE
ON EVERYTHING AND UNDERSTAND
WHEN THE BOUNDARIES ARE BEING
VIOLATED.
VIOLATED.
VIOLATED. >> YOU MAKE A GREAT POINT.
IF YOU SAY I WANT TO TRUST YOU.
YOU HAVE TO START THE LETTING
GO MOMENT OF MAKING THEM
INDEPENDENT ON ALL THINGS.
I SAID THE OTHER NIGHT, DID YOU
GET YOUR HOMEWORK DONE?
HE SAID YES.
I LOOKED AT IT.
PART WAS NOT DONE.
I DIDN'T GO BACK IN AND SAY YOU
DIDN'T FINISH.
DIDN'T FINISH. IF YOU ARE GETTING THOSE MARKED
OFF, THAT'S YOUR CONSEQUENCE.
WHEN YOU TAKE CARE OF
EVERYTHING FOR THEM, IT DOES
THEM NO FAVORS.
>> PARENTS HAVE TO BE WATCHING.
I LOVE WHAT WAS SAID.
TRUST BUT VERIFY.
DON'T BE MANIPULATED BY KIDS
WITH THEIR, OH, YOU DON'T TRUST
ME.
ME.
ME. YOU
ME. YOU HAVE TO BASE IT ON REALITY.
IF A CHILD IS TRUSTABLE.
>> YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER
THAN YOUR WORDS.
>> THIS IS A DEVELOPMENT STAGE,
WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT ABOUT
THEM LEARNING ABOUT MY WORD IS
SOMETHING THAT IS VERY, VERY
IMPORTANT AND SACRED.
>> THE OTHER THING THAT IS
CRAZY IS -- I THINK IT HAS
ALWAYS BEEN THERE.
EVERY GENERATION HAS A NEW
THING.
THING.
THING. PEER PRESSURE.
PEER PRESSURE. THE NUMBER OF KIDS WHO ARE
VAPING BECAUSE KIDS SAY TRY
THIS.
THIS.
THIS. OTHER KIDS FEEL PEER PRESSURE
TO DO THESE THINGS.
HOW DO WE NEGOTIATE ALL THAT
STUFF?
STUFF?
STUFF? THE BULLYING -- WE SEE
DEPRESSION IN KIDS.
>> I THINK THAT'S ANOTHER AREA
WHERE FAMILIES CAN REALLY BE
HELPFUL IN HELPING THE CHILD
NAVIGATE THE TRICKY WATERS THEY
GET IN MIDDLE SCHOOL AND HIGH
SCHOOL.
SCHOOL.
SCHOOL. ASK IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.
EVER SEE SOMEBODY BULLIED AT
YOUR SCHOOL?
YOUR SCHOOL? HAS IT HAPPENED TO YOU?
HAVE THE CONVERSATIONS.
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU START
WITH THE HONEST RELATIONSHIP
WHEN THEY ARE MUCH YOUNGER SO
THEY ARE WILLING TO BE HONEST
WHEN THEY ARE OLDER.
>> I LOVE WHAT THE SCHOOLS ARE
STARTING TO DO IN TALKING ABOUT
BULLYING.
BULLYING.
BULLYING. THAT HAS BEEN A BIG CHANGE.
>> PUTTING DRUG INFORMATION
PROGRAMS BACK IN SCHOOLS.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. I
>> YES. I THINK THE SCHOOLS HAVE AN
IMPORTANT PLACE TO ADD
INFORMATION.
INFORMATION. PARENTS DON'T ALWAYS HAVE ALL
THE LATEST INFORMATION.
>> SCHOOL IS SO MUCH MORE THAN
READING, WRITING AND
ARITHMETIC.
ARITHMETIC. >>> WHEN WE COME BACK, WE ARE
IN A COMPETITIVE SOCIETY.
WHAT DOES THAT DO TO A CHILD'S
SELF ESTEEM?