(upbeat jazzy music)
- [Man On Radio] Car 67, come in car 67.
- This is car 67. - This is car 67.
- We're code five. - Code five.
- Nothing to report.
- We've got nothing to report.
(slow jazz music)
(firecrackers blasting)
- Hey, hey take it easy!
- Calm down Chance, it's just Broadway and Hawk.
- Son of a bitch!
- Oh I'm sorry, did we wake you?
Oh look Broadway, we woke up a couple of diaper babies.
- We weren't sleeping.
We thought someone was trying to murder us and we screamed.
- Oh I'm sorry Moses, are you afraid a
big scary bad guy is going to come shoot you in the head,
and then (imitating splat) out the other side?
- Yeah, yeah we should all be scared of that scenario.
- You know I thought it was childish myself.
But Hawk really wanted to do it so you know.
Partners.
- Alright day shift's here dick lickers.
So take you beef jerky wrappers and your sad little farts
and exit the vehicle.
- I hope you choke on our sad little farts.
- That's not possible you fucking idiot.
- I wanted to ask you about this thing on Saturday.
Am I supposed to bring anything, or?
- Just a bottle of wine and your lovely wife.
(laughing)
Just playing.
- You're having a thing in Saturday?
- Yeah his wife invited Rashida and I over for dinner.
- It's not a big deal, it's just a couples thing.
I didn't think you would want to go.
- You invited him - You know I don't
like eating alone. - to a thing
and you didn't invite me? He's a jerk!
- Guys it's not a big deal.
Take it easy.
- Look if I'm being honest,
you make my wife uncomfortable,
and I can't invite you to dinner.
- You make your wife uncomfortable, Moses.
- You're right, I'm sorry.
- Don't apologize, stand up for yourself.
- No he can talk to him like if he wants!
- Yeah!
- Get in the fucking car, Broadway!
- Alright, I'm sorry.
- Farts!
- Get your crap, get in here. - I'll cut you!
(slow jazz music)
- So I've been taking some typing classes
at the learning annex. - That's good,
you can probably get your work.
- Yeah. - Oh, what's up guys?
- Hey.
- Enjoy the night shift shit birds.
- Be a grown up.
Count to three, our exercises.
Our exercises.
- Hey, my wife's going to make some pie for this Saturday.
- Oh wow. - Talked her into it.
I had to do a lot of oral activity to get her to say yeah.
- You mean talking.
- Yeah, I just had to talk to her.
- Yeah, and ask her.
- I asked her to do it and she said yeah.
Hey Tim.
- Hi?
(slow jazz music)
- Should we put the game on? - Want the game on?
- Yes.
(radio playing Ranchera music)
- Turn that off.
- I'm trying to, it's not working.
- Hawk and Broadway must have rigged the radio.
Listen, I can't listen to Ranchera music, okay?
It's a trigger for me.
I was in Tijuana when Terissa served me with divorce papers.
- I'm know I'm trying, the knob came off!
I can't turn it off!
- The knob came off,
I can't fucking listen to Ranchera music, man!
- I know, I know. - Turn it off!
- I'm trying to!
Chance, I need. - Fuck!
- Chance, I need you to calm down.
- Get me out of here!
I need you to calm down!
- Stop yelling at me, Terissa!
(shouting) (glass breaking)
- Come on, Chance.
Come on!
Don't, hey help, get back!
- So let's say next time we're on the shooting range
that maybe my aim isn't so good and, boom!
Hawk's head explodes.
What is that?
- Hawk and Broadway Photoshopped Denise's head
on one of those hooker flyers you get downtown.
- First of, you don't really get them downtown anymore.
It's more like on fair grounds.
Listen, for one thing you can't stand for this, okay?
- I know, I know.
- We got to kill 'em.
- Just take it easy, Chance.
- I'll help you kill them.
- It's not a big deal.
- It's kind of a big deal, you know?
- You know, I didn't need to mention this
during marriage counselling on Thursday.
This could actually be pretty funny.
- That does it.
Nobody messes with my partner and his stupid wife
who doesn't invite me to things.
Nobody!
- Hey, hold on, hold on.
I rigged the radio to give them a shock when they answer it.
Here, check this out.
Hey car 67, come in please.
(slow jazz music)
Car 67, come in please.
- Car 67, got a question for you , come in please.
- [Man On Radio] This is car 67.
Hey, oh my god!
Oh my god, my skin's burning! (yowling painfully)
- Oh shit! - Oh my god!
They're not even trying to get out!
My wife was going to make a pie to take over to their house.
Now I'm going to have to take a badge
and a folded up flag!
- It was just supposed to shock 'em.
- No!
You stop right now, okay?
You stop, I am done with you Hawk!
I'm telling the chief everything!
The cars, the women, the men.
Yeah, everything, okay?
You are finished!
- Don't you dare!
If you go to the chief I will hang out out to dry like.
- So what, you think I'm scared of being hung out to dry?
This is so stupid, why do you do this crap?
- Hey Broadway.
Lick it up, Hawk!
Lick it up!
Lick it!
- Moses!
- You know, partners.
Sorry.
- Can I come to your party, please?
- I'm a party guy. - Dinner.
- No, it's a party. - Chips, the last time you.
- I can be a charades master.
(everyone arguing)
- Slapped 'em with a good time.
Come on, man.
(upbeat jazzy music)