Fast food chains are always looking for new ways to satisfy the palette of the ever-demanding
21st-century consumer. One way to accomplish this? Secret Menus. That’s right. Mish-mashing
flagship ingredients or multiplying their sizes is not a new trick in the book of the
wise and quirky fast-food fan (Five cheese slices instead of one? McDonald’s has your
back. Would you like a bizarre cotton candy flavored frappuccino? Starbucks at your service!)
So if you’re a child at heart, here are 10 secret kid menus items that adults would
want.
In-n-Out’s Grilled Cheese
In-N-Out is the odd-one-out here because it doesn’t care about the secrecy of its secret
menu. In fact, its website even includes a dedicated page called the ‘Not-So-Secret’
Menu, where it confesses that its secret menu is just a number of dishes its loyal patrons
like to customize for themselves and that it’s ‘all about making the customers happy.’
I guess the cynic in me spoke too soon. In any case, it's now classic grilled cheese
sandwich is one of its chief secrets, and kids around the continent relish the dish’s
two slices of melted American cheese, hand-leafed lettuce, tomato, and spread, with or without
onions on a freshly baked bun. But if this soft-toasted delicacy wasn’t enticing enough
to you or your little one, then its lesser popular meaty secrets are bound to draw in
the salivating kid inside us. These include the burgers referred to as the ‘3x3’ (3
patties and 3 cheese slices) and ‘4x4’ (4 patties and 4 cheese slices). Another tweak,
though not in its secret menu, is that In-n-Out will split items at no additional cost if
there are two of you hankering for its not-so-secret grilled cheese.
Arby’s Meat Mountain
One of the few items on this list that can make it to a fast-food connoisseur’s hall
of fame (given that most are beverages), Arby’s Meat Mountain is a legendary behemoth of a
sandwich. Though it is widely known in the inner circles of high schoolers looking for
double dares, or teenagers hankering for a meal’s worth of bravado, the sandwich is
so densely packed with roasted protein that even the most seasoned of bodybuilders will
find themselves gawking at its size. The boulder stops at a whopping eleven layers of meat,
but rumor has it that the faces behind Arby’s wouldn’t have minded a couple more (Go big,
go humongous, or go home, I guess.) Even Arby’s secret menu is a very poorly kept secret,
and its official website pridefully explains, “stacked ridiculously high with almost all
the meats. Two chicken tenders, slices of roast turkey, pit-smoked ham, corned beef,
13-hour smoked brisket, USDA-choice Angus steak, roast beef, and pepper bacon. There’s
also cheddar and swiss cheese somewhere in there.” While the Meat Mountain continues
to draw in customers privy to the sandwich franchise’s secrets, its patrons also consider
the sandwich to be a little too dry, the secret Arby’s sauce conspicuous by its absence,
and far too many fanatics are limited both by their grip strength and their maximum jaw
range of motion. But like all marathons that deserve at least an attempt, the Meat Mountain
is worth the effort, if not the stares it’ll draw sitting on your tray.
Smashburger’s Peanut Butter and Chocolate Shake
Though the apple/burger chain of Colorado’s eye is known more for its trademark fresh
burgers and its eponymous technique of smashing meatballs into fine and crispy patties, Smashburger’s
secret menu holds secret not-so-smashburgers. Indeed, the peanut butter and chocolate shake
at Smashburger is a word-of-mouth phenomenon in many pockets across US and Canada, and
your kid is bound to be taken by the Reese’s peanut butter cup expertly incarnated in the
form of ice-cream in a drink. The delectable taste of this milkshake is thwarted only by
its appearance, with a beautiful dollop of soft-serve ice cream sitting on a mouthwatering
mixture of thick milk, Reese’s peanut butter sauce, and a sinful helping of vanilla. The
more adventurous of Smashburger customers will cherish a peanut-butter-and-jelly rendition
of this item, available for the same price but with the added benefit of the all-around
goodness of a classic PB&J in delicious liquid form. Though definitely the most popular item
on its secret menu, Smashburger also has an offering of equally quirky secret items, such
as the Sin City Smashburger. Its beef, smoked bacon, fried egg, and American cheese recipe
is straight from the annals of Las Vegas’ burger delis itself, and the slightly more
unconventional Fido Style Smashburger, made for hungry dogs (no, that isn’t a euphemism)
that enjoy quarter-pound patties, served bite-sized for canine nibblers all over. But there’s
another secret menu item that we think deserves special mention, coming right up.
Smashburger’s Cheese Patty Melt
Grilled Cheese is doing the rounds on this list – and rightly so, given its classic
Americanness, and the nostalgic love the dish has in the hearts of anyone that’s attended
high school and dined in its cafeterias. But while taking the bread out of a grilled cheese
sandwich is sacrilege, our item here is at the sweet spot between what is a classic burger
and a grilled cheese sandwich, the effortlessly delicious cheese patty melt. With golden brown
onions as its secret ingredient, rye bread is at the center of this toothsome secret
item, and the oozing, heavenly melted cheese between the crunchy toasted slices beckons
for consumption, target consumer or not. An added bonus is that its American cheese can
just as well be substituted with swiss, cheddar, or pepper jack upon request – mixing and
matching, also, is allowed. All in all, Smashburger’s cheesy invitation for anyone that enjoys relatively
healthier bread choices with indulgent doses of cheese makes it difficult not to indulge.
Jamba Juice’s Sour Patch Kids Smoothie
Created based on the idea that healthy drinking starts locally, Jamba Juice has come a long
way from being a tiny healthy juice stand in ‘90s Obispo, California. Today, cherished
by children and adults all over for their exquisite and fresh taste, Jamba Juice’s
secret menu items mash together classic ingredients and play around with trademark flavors so
masterfully that some are just as popular as its flagship products. An example is the
Sour Patch Kids smoothie – and though it is named after the sour-to-sweet soft candy,
its flavor is concocted by fruits and the native ingredients of its many other items.
The deeply sour beginning of every sip of the smoothie comes from 12 ounces of lemonade
mixed with one scoop each of lime sherbet, the sour-sweet middle ground comes in the
form of a scoop of orange sherbet, elegantly tying together the aftertaste of sweetness,
which includes a scoop each of pineapple sherbet, raspberry sherbet, and one whole scoop of
freshly ground blueberries. Though available in most Jamba Juice locations, branches not
privy to the retailer’s secrets would gladly put together a Sour Patch Kids smoothie if
provided the recipe.
Chipotle's Two Taco Kit
The Mexican fast-food chain is one of the first chains of fast casual dining establishments
in North America. Renowned for its rapid service of full healthy meals that integrate characteristic
Mexican ingredients with enough of a touch of North Americanness to make it an excellent
addition to our fast-food habitat without scaring too many people off, Chipotle is famous
too, albeit discreetly so, for its secret menu items. Not one to lag behind, the fast-food
chain has a luscious selection of Mexican favorites: The Quesarito (Super Burrito),
Burritodilla (Quesadilla with more toppings than just cheese), and a taco salad are just
a few of its secret offerings. Though these large and filling dishes are obviously the
first to be at the center of any hungry adult’s attention, a lesser known secret dish that
is popular amongst kids is Chipotle’s Two Taco kit. While its two crisp taco shells
allow for three customizable fillings along with kid-sized chips, what sets the two-taco
kit apart are its easy-to-choose options: steak, your favorite veggies, and cheese,
its low-calorie count most of Chipotle’s mainstream products are notorious for being
highly calorific, and its obvious appeal to younger customers. As always with Chipotle,
this dish is a result of the restaurant’s ingenious ability to bring together healthy
food and obviously lesser-than-healthy options, resulting in a delicious package, or in this
case shells, that will remain in the memory of your taste buds for days to come. And for
those of us that prefer sustainable choices, Chipotle is probably one of the most environmentally
friendly franchises on this list.
True Food Kitchen's Almond Butter, Apple, and Banana Sandwich
Made in the kitchens of one of the world’s most health-conscious franchises, this secret
sandwich is music to the ears of anyone looking to go healthy, and its nutritional information,
loaded with protein, healthy fats, and negligible sugars, is bound to attract the health-conscious
consumer trying to avoid the abundance of unhealthfulness on restaurant and grocery
shelves today. Pioneered by a doctor that wants to gear the world’s stomachs towards
anti-inflammatory food (oh, and a major equity of it is owned by Oprah Winfrey, the queen
of media herself), True Food Kitchen’s secret menu is as much a secret as is the restaurant
itself. But don’t let its obscurity fool you, its items are anything but. Indeed, the
secret dish’s deliciously fruity flavors come tucked between dollops of healthy almond
butter, and is sandwiched between rye bread, a superfood in its own right (Gluten-free?
Check. Low calories? Check. Still whole grain? You bet.) Served with carrot sticks and a
side of tzatziki dip, the meal is a complete entrée, and adults too will find that this
healthy alternative is a welcome addition to their vegetarian palette, especially if
they cherish varying and colorful flavors, and impeccable healthiness to boot.
Moe's Southwest Grill's Moo Moo Mr. Cow
Small-time or smack-dab at the center of the fast-food map, every restaurant seems to enjoy
a menu of finger-licking items that are off their grid. Moe’s Southwest Grill, an 18-year
old Georgian goldmine of amazing Mexican fast food, is no exception. This franchise is home
to some of the tastiest, healthiest, and most weirdly named fast Mexican food ever. The
‘Moo Moo Mr. Cow’ is where kids, beans, and delicious meat combine to make a choose-your-own
fiesta, but don’t feel excluded. The burrito is sizeable enough to satisfy the appetites
of foodies of all ages, and it comes with free chips, salsa, a cookie, and a little
drink. The options that grace this dish from burrito heaven include 100% ground grass-fed
beef, all-natural adobo chicken, mushrooms, bell peppers, lettuce, black beans, pico de
gallo, and delicious cheese, all rolled in a flour tortilla. Though this delightful fast
food chain (The acronym Moe’s actually stands for Musicians, Outlaws, and Entertainers),
co-owned by Raving Brands, struggled to blossom during its initial years, the franchise is
now 5,000-stores strong and has locations in Turkey, Russia, Costa Rica, and even Jamaica.
McDonald’s Grilled Cheese
Who would’ve thought it? The world’s most famous burger chain also indulges the smaller
pleasures of life, but only on the sly, of course. This item is by no means a regular’s
preferred choice, but the secret grilled cheese sandwich makes dining in McDonald’s innocent
and approachable again, before pink slime and foot lettuce forever corrupted how people
see fast food in general. Another variant of the original grilled cheese sandwich, McDonald’s
offering is stacked inside grilled hamburger buns and includes two wholesome slices of
good old American cheese. Though not the most popular secret menu item, the price of the
grilled cheese (Just $0.99 USD) makes it a tempting choice for any vegetarian on a budget.
With more creative rivals like Hash Brown McMuffin, Land, Sea, and Air Burger, and the
Big McChicken, the Grilled Cheese is low-hanging fruit for the creators behind McDonald’s
secret menu – but we’re not complaining. If anything, we’re loving it.
Jamba Juice’s Skittles Smoothie
Jamba Juice’s covert cooperation with leading candy brands has been benefiting kids in love
with the juice retailer for years now, and we insist that you join the party. The Skittles
Smoothie is the crowning jewel of its secret menu, a well-deserved spot given that it includes
mostly fresh fruits and flavors, and contrary to popular belief, not ground Skittles themselves.
Though most locations know of the item, any Jamba Juicer would be happy to whip together
the smoothie if given the lip-smacking recipe. 12 ounces of Lemonade, combined with one scoop
each of lime sherbet, frozen yogurt, and one scoop of strawberries make this red-colored
delicacy the bestseller that it is. Compared to its more weirdly named secret counterparts,
including Berry Depressing, Blue-Topia, and Dirty Orgasm, the Skittles Smoothie is not
only the tastier option, but it is also an overall much safer phrase to use around children.
Seriously, Dirty Orgasm? Someone in the Jamba Juice’s smoothie-naming department deserves
a demotion.
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