- It don't get.
Why did we get off that lovely jetliner in Minneapolis
and switch to this rickety old thing?
- Because the jets are too big to land at St. Gustav.
- St. Gustav?
I thought we were flying to St. Olaf.
- Oh, St. Olaf doesn't have an airport.
The only way you can get to St. Olaf is
to fly to St. Gustav and then take land transportation
to St. Olaf.
Even the birds do it that way when they migrate.
(audience laughs)
- I don't believe this.
- Could be worse.
We could be going to Beaver Falls.
- Beaver Falls?
That's my stop.
(bell dings)
(audience laughs)
- Breaker one nine, the lady's got a question, ten four.
- Where do you go the bathroom?
- I'm glad you asked, little missy.
You got your private restroom quarters right
over here, conveniently located right off
of the master bedroom.
See, you got all your privacy.
Nobody knows your business.
- Hey, I can actually hear you better now.
(audience laughs)
All right, what happens if we use the bathroom
and we're out on the road?
Where does everything go?
- Well, you ride around with it for a few days
till you find a place to drain it.
- Oh my God.
(audience laughs)
- It's all right here in the handout.
- Oh, more bunnies.
- Oh, if I could just remember
where I put the reservation book.
- No TV in the room?
(audience laughs)
- Did you really want a TV this weekend?
- No, no, no, we'll arm wrestle.
(audience laughs)
- And the common bathroom is just across the hall.
- No bathrooms in the rooms either?
Can I ask you something?
What is in the room?
Is uh, are we in the room right now?
- Ray.
- Please review the information cards in your seat pockets
for the safety information in the unlikely event
of a mishap during our flight.
- Mishap, what, what did she mean?
What did she mean by mishap?
She means like bad movies, or cold food,
or running out of ice.
(audience laughs)
- Running out of gas.
- Oh my God.
(audience laughs)
- Will you just calm down?
Here, drink some champaign.
- No, I don't like champaign.
- Go ahead, it might relax you.
(audience laughs)
- Didn't make me relaxed.
Just makes me wanna burp.
(audience laughs)
I'll probably burp and the pressure
in the cabin will change and we'll fly into a mountain.
- That would be a good example of a mishap.
(audience laughs)
- Rose, do me a favor, fasten your seatbelt.
Over you mouth!
(audience laughs)
♪ Ba na na na na na ta ♪
♪ Ba na na na na na ta ta ♪
♪ Ba na na na na na ta ♪
♪ Ba na na na ta ♪
♪ Ba na na na na tum tum ♪
Gridlock!
(audience laughs)
Ba na na-- - Stop.
- Why don't you take the suitcase?
- What suitcase?
(audience laughs)
- You know what suitcase.
- Are you referring to the suitcase
that you haven't moved in three weeks?
Is that the suitcase to which you are referring?
- Why couldn't you move it?
- All right, you are not going to the airport
with a grocery bag.
(audience laughs)
Take the suitcase!
- You know what?
I don't need it.
(audience laughs)
- Okay, you know what?
(audience laughs)
- Oh.
(audience claps and cheers)
Yeah, good!
Good!
Real mature!
(audience laughs)
I don't care!
I don't care, thanks to the good people
at Waldbaums, I got a complete set of luggage right here!
(audience laughs)
- How you doin' out there, Ma?
- [Sophia] Fine.
- Sophia, why don't you wanna sit back here with us, honey?
- Because after three days on the road
with you guys, this jackass smells better.
- [Man] Thank you.
(audience laughs)
(logo whooshes)