To help you navigate that vague sense of dread you may be feeling while you wait for your
order number to be called, we've prepared a list of ways to help you identify the terrible
truth you are facing: You may just be sitting in a bad fast food restaurant.
Here's how you can tell.
To start with, look at the menu.
Do all the pictures look like they were taken with a phone?
We're talking grainy, blurry flip-phone photos — those grainy, pixelated snaps that haven't
been updated since 2006.
Even when the technical photo quality is okay, there may be other issues, thanks to some
owner or manager deciding they were going to save a few bucks by shooting their food
photos themselves.
Harsh shadows.
Weird yellow or blue light.
Unappealing close-ups that magnify the least appetizing quality of the dish, such as the
way all the grease pools around the base of a sloppy burger, or the uncooked jarred chopped
garlic you've unceremoniously scooped onto a dish of wet, pasty-looking fish.
Or worse, photos with no proper lighting at all, as though the meal was served to a small
child trapped at the bottom of a well.
At sunset.
In December.
Look, there are plenty of ways to cut corners and save a few dollars when you're figuring
out how to market your business.
But the first impression that customers have of your food when they're looking at your
menu isn't one of them.
A fast food place that has such misplaced priorities probably isn't the place to trust
with your dining dollars
Sometimes, the trouble with the photos on the menu isn't that they're bad… it's that
they're good.
As in, too good.
White backgrounds, studio lighting, and artfully arranged garnishes at the local hole-in-the-wall
burger joint?
Mysterious extra ingredients in that stir fry photo that don't seem to be listed on
the menu's description of the dish?
Chances are, you're looking at stock photography that may have little or nothing to do with
the food you'll actually be served.
"See what I mean?
It's plump, it's juicy, it's three inches thick."
You'll see this fairly often at mall food courts, although that's certainly not the
only place it happens.
The takeaway?
If a fast food place isn't showing you photos of what you're actually going to be served,
turn and run the other way.
Soda-spattered, crumb-covered tables are certainly enough to give you the heebie-jeebies, and
a messy or dirty bathroom is gross on a whole lot of levels, but it's not the practical
parts of these symptoms of a bad fast food restaurant that should bother you.
As much as that layer of someone else's toilet paper lining the seat in the stall may be
off-putting, it's symptomatic of a much bigger problem: An inattention to detail and a lack
of basic upkeep, which could open the door to anything from poor sanitation to full-blown
pest infestations.
“Was that a bat?"
See, a sticky table may be icky, but it's also super obvious.
And if the staff at the restaurant isn't paying attention to those obvious issues and taking
time to address them, think about how many other, more subtle parts of commercial restaurant
work they are probably missing.
If they can't be bothered to peel the gum off the sink in the bathroom, do you really
think someone is on top of changing the fryer oil regularly?
Sanitizing work surfaces properly?
Clearing all those moldy and mislabeled sauce remains out of the walk-in?
These are the tasks that the general public doesn't see, and if the staff isn't taking
care of the public-facing issues, you can bet they're not paying much attention to the
hundreds of small tasks that take place behind the scenes to ensure your food is safe and
hygienic.
Ever notice how some fast food or quick-service restaurants have those plastic laminated placemats,
sometimes decorated with an array of local business advertisements offering everything
from car detailing to discounted Zumba classes?
They're there to convince you that your eating surface is more hygienic and safer, since
the placemats are presumably replaced after each table turns.
But look a little more closely and peel up the corner of one of those placemats, if you
dare.
You may find a forest of black mildew.
It's easy to understand why this happens.
If you're a freshly-paroled busboy earning minimum wage in a restaurant with limited
or no waitstaff, and your only job is to clear and wipe down tables, are you really going
to clear the placemats each time?
Likelier, you'll get a little lazy once in a while, hit the whole table with a few spritzes
of diluted cleaning solution, and wipe the whole thing down in one go.
Over time, trace amounts of moisture will seep under the mat and allow mold and mildew
to flourish.
"See, this is the kind of stuff I need to learn.
Plastic menus seem like a great idea to me.
When you spill something on them and then your mom says 'Hey, Troy, you're ruining Fuddruckers
for everyone."
It's an unappealing visual, though it's probably not going to hurt you, unless you flip the
placemat over and eat directly off of it.
But it speaks to the same overall lack of attention to detail that may be an indicator
of larger problems lurking elsewhere.
Nobody likes frozen hamburger patties, and cheap fast food places use these mass-produced
beef pellets for several reasons: They're cheap, and they're easy to work with.
Not only does substandard beef cost a few dollars less per pound than the good stuff,
but frozen burgers arrive ready for service, pre-shaped and with a slip of waxed paper
separating each one so they can be pried apart and slapped on the grill with no extra effort
required from the cook.
"So there's your burgers … Frozen … Thank you."
The problem here is one of attitude and approach.
If you're running a fast food place, you need your star player to be made with the best
possible ingredients.
One of the things that can make crummy fast food places feel a little off is when they
start using generic condiment brands.
Even when it's applied in a tiny little squirt to a cheeseburger or a hot dog, we're so accustomed
to the way things like ketchup and mustard taste, that when there's a tiny change, our
brains register the difference.
For a fast food restaurant that's down on its luck and trying to pinch pennies anywhere
they can, it must be tempting to switch to no-name brand condiments, but the difference
in overall food quality can be so drastic, that it's a sure sign a company is circling
the drain financially.
While paying half as much money for ketchup might seem to make sense, it has the side
effect of making food taste weird.
An owner or chef who takes his/her food seriously would be reluctant to cut corners in this
area.
One of the reasons we eat fast food at all is that we sometimes don't have time to wait
around in a long line of impatient customers.
Say what you will about fast food, but one of the biggest things it has going for it
is that it's basically ready at practically the same time it's occurred to you to eat
in the first place.
Sometimes, however, food that's ready instantly may be an indicator of problems.
If the guy behind the counter is plunking your burger order onto a plastic tray before
you even finish ordering, it's a good sign that food is being prepared well in advance.
If a fast food place is busy, that's not too big a deal; after all, the difference between
a McDouble made 30 seconds ago versus one made 90 seconds ago is minimal.
As the lines thin, though, it's likely those burgers and fries have sat around for more
than a few minutes, drastically reducing their deliciousness.
Y'know how there's that one fast food place in town where it's consistently impossible
to get a milkshake, because no matter what time of day or week you go, the machine is
"broken?"
"Oh boy…”
According to Business Insider, this could be because the shake machine isn't broken,
but is instead going through its nightly four-hour "cleaning" cycle, which is supposed to take
place after-hours.
Get a closing crew on duty that's anxious to get the doors closed and the blinds drawn,
however, and they may start cleaning the machine early, leaving you McFlurryless for the foreseeable
future.
Worse?
Sometimes, the machine is being "cleaned" midday because some lazy soul didn't bother
to do it the night before, and the gummed-up remains of thawed cellulose gum and carrageenan
have ruined it for everybody.
Whether it's because the machine is being cleaned either too early or too late, both
indicate a staff that's trying to cut corners, and who probably aren't too preoccupied with
delivering you a satisfying fast food experience.
You've probably heard the disclaimer at the end of some fast food commercials: "Price
and participation may vary."
Or maybe you've seen the text at the bottom of the screen saying "Only at participating
restaurants."
But have you ever wondered what that was all about?
Franchise agreements can vary from brand to brand, but many franchisees operate not as
employees of the parent company, but as a sort of affiliate or partner.
This means that while Burger King may strongly suggest that franchisees start stacking BBQ
sauce and onion rings onto their Whoppers, the franchise owner doesn't necessarily have
to.
Here's the problem: The whole reason people buy into established franchises in the first
place is to align their skills with a well-known national brand.
Instead of creating and marketing a burger for themselves, franchisees are choosing to
instead make someone else's, saving them a fortune in promotional expenses, training,
and time in the test kitchen.
So what if a business owner has bought into a franchise, and then stops doing the bidding
of the franchise owner?
There's probably a reason, and none of the possibilities are encouraging.
"Your tone is quasi-facetious, but you do not realize that Taco Bell is the only restaurant
to survive the franchise wars."
Sometimes, a line of traffic that wraps from the drive-thru speaker all the way around
the block is a sign that a place is doing something right; peak ordering hours and a
popular fast food place can be a recipe for an extended wait.
But if it's, say, 3 p.m. on a Wednesday, and there's a line wrapped around the same decrepit
KFC that's been there for 20 years, there's probably something else going on.
Fast food restaurants are notorious for their rapid turnover in staff; employing an army
of disposable teenagers is part of what some fast food places build their entire business
plans around.
In fast food, mistakes tend to snowball, and with no experienced, well-trained staff on
hand to help course correct, a mistake on the grill line cascades to the front-of-house
cashiers, and eventually to the drive-thru, grinding service to a near standstill.
You're all pumped up to get your kids the new Batman/Lego/Hello Kitty promotional tie-in
that's been splashed all over Happy Meal marketing for a week, but what's this?
My Little Pony?
AGAIN?
Usually, fast food places will lob any old leftover toy they have left laying around
into your kid's meal, regardless of what the current promotional posters may say, because
giving away a few extra Pinky Pies is easier than sending them back to corporate.
This can sometimes be an indicator of lower-than-expected product turnover, which may in turn point
to less-than-fresh ingredients elsewhere in the restaurant.
Most chefs have a trick that they don't talk about very often: When they can't get something
to taste better, either due to budget limitations or lack of ingredients, they know they can
turn it into a winning dish by packing as much fat, salt, sugar, and calories into it
as humanly possible.
"Yeah, can I get the love handles, the double chin, and some blubber."
We all know that fast food isn't the healthiest option, but some chains are punishing us with
more fat, salt, and sugar than others.
When comparing fast food nutritional panels, if one chain seems to have artificially high
numbers, when compared to a similar item elsewhere, it may be because they're trying to disguise
cheap ingredients or lower-quality items with an assault of fat and calories.
“Skip past the less invasive procedures and move right to a quadruple bypass burger."
Check out one of our newest videos right here!
Plus, even more Mashed videos about your favorite food are coming soon.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel and hit the bell so you don't miss a single one.