Dear Con Man Games,
I know that Kindergarten 2 JUST came out,
But I'm still playing it and I may, like, have an idea for a topic for that in the future.
But, now is not the time. Because I need to go ALLL the way back to Monday,
and talk about Kindergarten 1, because as I was replaying it with anticipation for the release of the sequel,
I happen upon the scene where Nugget hands you a, well, a chicken nugget to eat.
[STEPH AS NUGGET:] Remember the taste of the friendship nugget.
[AUSTIN:] Okay, just calm down there, buddy.
Anyway, it turns out that this chicken nugget, should you eat it, is poisoned.
Which Nugget uses as leverage during lunchtime to get you to give
another poisoned nugget to the school bully, Buggs, in exchange for the antidote.
Which you either do, or you call Nugget's bluff and find out that NOPE. He was not bluffing,
and if you don't get Buggs to eat that nugget, you WILL DIE.
The poison is real. Dope, you know casual five-year-old murder. Really nothing new here on The Game Theorists
ANGRY OPERA
In any case, this scene is weird, like, it's weird-
It's weird! I mean, okay, it's definitely just like weird in a fridge logic way
but, like, what kindergartner has access to poison?!
and an antidote, seriously?! Nugget is five, maybe six and yeah,
He's a bit strange, and obviously, this game takes place in some bizarre Quinton Tarantino alternate dimension,
where the primary currency is ultra-violence, and, yeah, a kindergartner having access to poisons is
probably the last thing I should be worrying about in a game that has Cthulhu aliens and Yu Gi Oh cards that can summon the Apocalypse,
but I CANNOT help myself. I am broken inside. :(
So, you know, I started researching poisons, because I just REALLY wanted to seal the deal with the NSA.
And you know what? After researching this for tiring 30-ish hours, doing dosage math?
I have learned a lot of terrifying realities about our world that make me want to NEVER go outside again.
So, could Nugget, a kindergartner, have access to a poison strong enough to kill Buggs?
AND if so, what poison could it possibly be? AND would he be able to get his hands on an antidote?
Let's find out together! Because the answer to this simple question is surprisingly complicated, deliciously mortifying and chemically fascinating!
[MUSIC]
The first thing I did to begin to get to the bottom of this nugget problem, was NOT to research poisons but to order myself some chicken nuggets.
NOT because I wanted to eat them, I'm more of a double quarter-pounder with cheese guy, no. I wanted to get a handle on the scale first.
This is gonna be helpful for us to keep in mind the context of the various doses with the various poisons
we are going to be talking about today. Also, and I do hope this goes without saying, please do not poison people.
Anyway, I weighed my nugs to get a sense for the average weight of chicken nuggets and it appears to be 13.25g, which we're going to use as a unit.
One nugget equals 13.25g
I did a lot of research into toxins and there are some things I could rule out right off the bat like animal venom!
You see the general distinction between a venom and a poison is that venom is injected into your body, directly to cause harm.
Meanwhile, poisons are harmful,
If you swallow them. Some venoms can be poisons, but almost all of them are, well...
I mean, you'll never find a doctor is going to advocate that you swallow snake venom
But generally speaking they simply aren't as harmful, and they may actually be harmless if swallowed so not a great poison
So after that
I just started ruling things out
Tetrodotoxin is a no because it has no antidote and it's only found in pufferfish
Hemlocks are incredibly toxic rest in peace Socrates and can be found literally everywhere
But actually kill you too fast and have no known antidote
in fact
a ton of poisons got ruled out because they have no known antidote poisons with antidotes are super rare the whole
Hey, I poisoned you but I have an antidote that will magically cure you thing is pretty much a complete fabrication by Hollywood
You know what TV show actually gets it right Breaking Bad puking popping a pill and then still needing
Extensive medical treatment is basically what most poisonings look like
This is actually what ruled out my favorite pick, Botulinum toxin because it's actually super abundant
it's the primary toxin used in Botox and see most potent toxin on earth as little as
23 nano grams or 3 to
billionths of a nugget of this toxin is enough to basically
Instantly kill you the toxin is produced by bacteria. That's literally
everywhere the spores need to be in an anaerobic or oxygen-free environment to release a toxin though
Which makes poisonings pretty rare is a rule but it's the leading cause of botulism a really common form of food poisoning
The thing is it has no known antidote! (Well this is a mystery..)
So scratch out nugget rotting a giant pile of nuggets in this cave to cultivate super toxins... and then I suddenly thought to myself
Cyanide. That stuff that is famously all over in our food
specifically in apple seeds although in very small amounts. and a
Kindergartner who totally have access to those and it turns out well, no kind of sort of we'll get there
I need to take a breath for a second by looking at a picture of puppies before we move on to talking about poison some
more, Aww he's so cute! *unholy noises*
All right, let's do that thing or we cut to black in time with the music before we talk about lunchtime.
*Silence*
We need to talk about lunch and not just because I'm hungry
Something we haven't done yet is establish how quickly nugget's poison works because some toxins can work within
Seconds while others take hours or even days so we have to establish a time frame for how quickly it's working.
Let's review our chain of events during morning time nugget will feed you a poison friendship nugget during lunch
He uses his fact as leverage to make you feed a poison nugget to Buggs
Nugget claims that the chicken nugget he poisoned you with had a smaller dose in it than bugs his nugget, but it's still fatal
he estimates so you have until the bell that
Signifies the end of lunch rings until you keel over and he's not wrong if you give bugs the poison nugget
He dies by the end of the lunch period in the United States kindergarten lunch periods are about 30 minutes
technically, bugs can die in the space of one consumed apple which since there's like five apples per period is about
Six minutes. Meanwhile you die in the space of six
Apples which is about 40 ish minutes bugs can also take about 30 minutes to die
So there's some wiggle room and since poisons are imprecise and vary in effect from person-to-person
news actually makes a lot of sense and thankfully a 30 ish minute fatality time is
consistent with the toxin we're about to discuss
cyanide which brings us back to apple seeds and it turns out this whole cyanide in apple seeds thing is
Sort of kind of true apple seeds don't have cyanide in them per se what they do have is a chemical compound called
Amygdalin, which is what's known as a cyanogenic glycoside
And it makes more sense. If I just show you this right here is amygdalin, which by itself is actually pretty harmless
But you see this bit on the end right here right there. This is cyanide,
and when amygdalin reaches your intestines the process of
Metabolizing it breaks off this part and it starts to distribute itself throughout your system
And this has poisoned people while apple seeds have very very very
small amounts of amygdalin in them, the apricot
kernels have a much higher percentage by volume and some people have bought them to eat for their super debunked and fake
Medicinal property of curing cancer over zealous people ate too many of them and got cyanide poisoning the good thing for us, though
Is that cyanide does have a pretty effective antidote, that's
Relatively attainable if you know where to look up it's a combination of amyl nitrite sodium nitrite and sodium
Thiosulfate all of which are kind of easily findable and you can reverse the symptoms
So basically anyone on earth all said might be able to help you out now
It's hard to get specifics and apricot seeds have a wide diversity of
concentrations of amygdalin in them the average seed weighs point five grams and has approximately 19 milligrams of
amygdalin with a fatal dose of about
500 milligrams per kilogram of bodyweight in an average weight of a five-year-old boy of eighteen point four kilograms
It means we need about
9,200
Milligrams of amygdalin to kill bugs that is about point six nine nuggets worth over half a nugget
but remember that is just the
amygdalin dose extracting amygdalin from crushed apricot seeds is a
really really complicated chemical process involving organic solvents that are probably above the skills of the average high schooler let alone
Kindergartner meaning he'd have to rely exclusively on ground-up apricot seeds. How many would he need?
234 grams worth which at half a gram per seed is over
469 seeds. What does that mean for our poisoning?
Well in order to shove a fatal dose inside of bugs if nugget deep fried nuggets made purely out of the seeds
It'd still take over 35 nuggets worth of apricot seeds to poison bugs
35 times will we feed him in-game? There is no way. This is the poison that nugget used and with that
I thought I was done I felt defeated
No
Kindergartner would be able to get their hands on a controlled substance very easily let alone reverse its effects
And then by chance literally by accident I realized that the answer was staring me in the face the whole time
What's the most important item to pick up in kindergarten besides the Hall Pass and the voice recorder the item that saves you?
Repeatedly from the hall monitor the pack of cigarettes... and it may not seem like a big clue to you
But that's why I'm here! The world's crappiest
Detective I'm here to tell you that this pack of cigarettes in the game is the key to everything
What's even more brilliant about those pack of cigarettes is that it didn't just give me the clue to look into the correct poison
but once I started doing all the dosing mechanics, oh
I will save that part for later. Let's get to the meat nicotine
Did you know that nicotine is one of the most toxic substances on earth?
It's no botulinum of course
But it is very very deadly people that work with pure nicotine have to be very careful
If just a little bit gets on your skin it can send you to the hospital
I mean in nature it's used as an insecticide when bugs eat plants that contain nicotine it sends their entire body into a meltdown!
They can die within seconds!
the average cigarette has 12 milligrams of nicotine in it and a really
entrepreneurial
Murderous child while they'd have difficulty actually getting a pack or even a full cigarette could just walk around until they found a really full
Ashtray and take the cigarette butts home. You know, I'm just gonna say this
Nicotine is water soluble and has a higher boiling temperature than water
Nicotine fatal doses are hard to get exact numbers on for humans. So to guarantee a bug's death
We're really gonna have to go with overkill
Let's say 10 milligrams per kilogram, which is about 10 times more and is sometimes cited as a fatal dose
But that citation is actually pretty bad and there's not really a lot of evidence behind it
but if we assume their cigarette butt has on average only 5% of its original nicotine extractable by
Let's just say methods that are barely more complicated than boiling water
That means nugget would have to go around and find about
300 cigarette butts and put them in a big bag and take them home. That's actually not that difficult
I don't think I think if you found just like one or two busy ashtrays in town
That would probably be enough, but you know, what after
Double-checking my math, I realized something nugget did not use cigarette butts
He used a fresh pack of cigarettes
You know how I know this because it turns out that about 15 cigarettes
contains enough nicotine if thoroughly
extracted to
Poison both the main character and bugs and if you look at the pack of cigarette that you buy in game it only has four
Cigarettes left in it. And there's no way Monty bought that pack himself
He found it somewhere somewhere discarded discarded with the exact number of cigarettes that it would take to kill two people
Missing and how much nicotine is that?
If properly isolated which takes barely more skill than it takes to make a box of macaroni and cheese on the stovetop
15 cigarettes would have a yield of
0.184 milliliters of nicotine or
184 milligrams and how much is that? Four drops. Four drops on a chicken nugget and it works really fast!
Nicotine can absorb through your gums, your skin, your esophagus, and your stomach, after eating
it! bugs would experience severe abdominal pain which explains the vomiting sweating high blood pressure dizziness increased heart rate seizures eventually all
Cardiac arrest this is almost exactly what we see happened to him on screen and those nicotine poisoning have an antidote well
kinda it has a
combination of treatments one which is a really common first action is
activated charcoal pills these pills contain fine
carbon powders that have a huge surface area and bind to poisonous substances and absorb them so you don't digest them all the other
Treatment and it is experimental is an application of benzozia-
Benzodiazepine *stutters* I'm gonna call it a benzo because I keep mispronouncing it! anyway an application of benzos can mitigate the
cardiovascular problems and you know what Nugget has some of those those magic pills given to him by the
Principal the ones that calm him down and kind of make him act a little weird and most importantly
Totally mess with his memory. These are the major side effects of benzos. They can totally trash your short-term memory
So the antidote he gave you after feeding you a poison
he made from extracting nicotine from a pack of cigarettes before discarding the rest of them because he's not a smoker was probably just
Activated charcoal and his magic demon pills together. It's not perfect. Honestly, your character would still need to go to the hospital
It turns out that while it's really really easy to poison someone it is not so easy to unpause in them
And how did a kindergartner get a pack of cigarettes even that is hard to say for sure
he could have swiped them from the hall monitor who's always smoking in the bathroom and
Incidentally seems to be running low on his supply of smokes or there's a teacher miss Applegate who also smokes
and is high out of her mind on the principal's pills all the time so who knows! in any case nugget is a
Much more dangerous kid than you can even realize by playing through the game. The first time this guy is freaking
Heisenberg and I cannot wait to see what he does in kindergarten 2. please don't poison people
sincerely, Austin.
*nugget voice* Nugget needs more friends! nugget only needs a few more friends to reach 12
million 12 million nuggets.. subscribe to our channel or nugget will make you eat his
Special friendship nugget also nugget thinks you should watch another video about nuggets and nuggets nugget awayy!!!
Subtitles by - just look in the desc.