Weddings are typically all about tradition, from the bride's white dress to the exchanging
of vows and rings.
British royal marriages, however, are unsurprisingly a little more tightly bound to custom than
most.
From menus to flower arrangements, royal wedding ceremonies are carefully choreographed events
that, as Meghan pointed out in her interview with Oprah, are largely meant for public consumption.
Even before tying the knot, British royals are bound by etiquette to comply with a number
of literally antiquated protocols.
For example, The Royal Marriages Act of 1772 requires any royal family member who plans
to make a marriage proposal to get the queen's blessing first.
This rule is similar to the mostly-forgotten tradition we know of as "asking for one's
hand in marriage."
It's a custom often called out as being sexist, in which the proposer traditionally asks for
permission from their partner's father before proposing.
Prince Harry, who got down on one knee while making roast chicken with Meghan at Kensington
Palace, paid no heed to it.
Prince Harry didn't just not ask for her father's permission before marrying Meghan Markle -- he
actually didn't meet her father before their marriage, at all.
This — according to royal biographer Ingrid Seward — caused some concern for Meghan's
future sister-in-law, Kate Middleton.
Kate voiced her concerns after Harry and his wife-to-be stayed at her home, shared with
Prince William, in Norfolk, Anmer Hall.
Following their visit, Harry revealed to Radio 4's "Today" program that his loved ones were,
quote, "like the family [Meghan] never had."
Of course, it all snowballed from there.
When Harry and Meghan announced their engagement, Kate Middleton was quick to publicly show
her support, telling the press at a public outing that she and William hoped that the
newly engaged couple "enjoy[ed] this happy moment."
But the media rang alarm bells when Meghan declined to attend the wedding of Kate's sister,
Pippa Middleton.
Page Six reported that Meghan pulled out of Pippa's wedding for fear that she would steal
the show on the bride's big day.
Behind the scenes, however, things might have been more tense than we ever realized.
According to royal biographer Ingrid Seward, Kate Middleton found the situation surrounding
Meghan Markle's father and Prince Harry not meeting him a bit worrying.
Seward claimed that,
"She could not understand why Harry had never met his future father-in-law, nor why Meghan,
who Harry assured was The One and 'ticked all his boxes', appeared embarrassed about
her family and unwilling to speak about them apart from her mother."
On the day of her wedding to Harry, Meghan walked down the aisle with her father-in-law,
Prince Charles.
Her mother, Doria Ragland, was the only family member on Meghan's side of the family to attend
the wedding.
In her bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey, Meghan revealed how emotionally draining the
experience with her father has been.
She said,
"I look at Archie, I think about this child [on the way], and I genuinely can't imagine
doing anything to intentionally cause pain to my child.
I can't imagine it.
So it's hard for me to reconcile that."
If Kate Middleton was worried about Harry's relationship, she may well have voiced her
concern to Harry before the wedding.
In their 2020 book, "Royals at War," journalists Dylan Howard and Andy Tillett allege that
Kate suggested to Harry that he slow down.
They say,
"She gently reminded him that he was dating someone with a completely different life,
past, and career and it would take time, care, and attention for them to integrate."
One thing is certain.
There is no doubt that the press has delighted in pitting Middleton against Markle.
Royal biographer Ingrid Seward maintains that while Kate tried her best to like Meghan,
"[...]the women had little in common beyond some polite chatter and their shared interest
in tennis."
In "Finding Freedom: Harry, Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family," Omid Scobie
and Carolyn Durand report that by Meghan's last public appearance as a working royal,
the relationship between the royal sisters-in-law had disintegrated.
The authors wrote that,
"Although Meghan tried to make eye contact with Kate, the duchess barely acknowledged
her."
In her interview with Oprah, however, Meghan told a different story, insisting that, quote,
"[Kate's] a good person."
She continued to say,
"I think so much of what I have seen play out was this idea of polarity.
If you love me you don't have to hate her, and if you love her, you don't need to hate
me."
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