HEY, DID YOU ALL SEE "CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR"?
HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MOVIE YET?
I SAW THE "CIVIL WAR."
I LIKED IT.
A LITTLE TOO LONG, BUT THEN AGAIN, SO WAS THE REAL CIVIL
WAR.
BUT I COULD NOT HELP BUT NOTICE WATCHING IT IN THE THEATER,
THRILLED BY THE MOVIE, SO MANY OF THE CHARACTERS SEEMED
TO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON: IRON-"MAN."
ANT-"MAN."
SPIDER-"MAN."
MOVIE BLACK PANTHER...
"MAN."
THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE IS KIND OF A SAUSAGE-FEST.
AND I GOTTA SAY, ALL THAT SPANDEX REALLY SHOWCASES THE
SAUSAGE.
AND IT'S NO ACCIDENT.
IN FACT, IT WAS JUST REPORTED THAT "IRON MAN 3'S" VILLAIN,
ALDRITCH KILLIAN, WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A WOMAN ORIGINALLY.
BUT ACCORDING TO THE WRITER OF "IRON MAN 3," "WE WERE GIVEN A
NO-HOLDS-BARRED MEMO SAYING THAT CANNOT STAND."
THIS IS SHOCKING.
"IRON MAN 3" HAD A WRITER?
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
AND YOU WON'T-- I THOUGHT THEY JUST BLEW STUFF UP.
AND YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHY THEY HAD TO CHANGE HER INTO A HE.
EVIDENTLY, MARVEL DECIDED THE TOY WOULDN'T SELL AS WELL IF IT
IS A FEMALE.
( AUDIENCE BOOING ) COME ON, IT MAKES SENSE.
GIRLS DON'T PLAY WITH DOLLS.
THIS IS SO DISAPPOINTING.
BACK IN THE 80s, WE WEREN'T SO HUNG UP ON THE GENDER OF OUR
HOLLYWOOD ACTION FIGURES.
I COLLECTED HANNAH AND HER SISTERS.
EVERYONE HAD MERYL STREEP FROM "SOPHIE'S CHOICE."
I REALLY STRUGGLED WITH WHETHER TO OPEN THAT ONE AND PLAY WITH
IT OR KEEP IT IN THE BOX.
IT WAS A REAL...
QUANDARY.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO SINGLE OUT "IRON MAN 3," BECAUSE IT'S
HARDLY THE ONLY FILM THAT WAS WRITTEN WITH A FEMALE VILLAIN
ONLY TO HAVE IT CYNICALLY GENDER SWAPPED AT THE LAST MINUTE.
TAKE DARTH VADER.
HE WAS FIRST WRITTEN AS DARELENE VADER, A TALENTED,
POWERFUL WOMAN WHO STRUGGLED TO BALANCE HER IMPERIAL AMBITIONS
WITH RAISING HER REBELLIOUS TWINS.
OR DOCTOR DOOM-- WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE A MAN?
ARE YOU SAYING A WOMAN CAN'T BE A DOCTOR?
OR BE AN EVIL TECHNO-SORCEROR?
THEY'D BETTER FIX THIS IN THE NEXT "FANTASTIC FOUR" MOVIE.
AND THERE BETTER NOT BE ANOTHER "FANTASTIC FOUR" MOVIE.