Today at Live On Purpose TV, I'm going to share some ways to deal with negative
people. Do you have any of those in your life? As we jump into this topic, I think
first let's just acknowledge something. We all have our times, don't we? Sometimes
we're the negative person that other people have to deal with. But there's a
lot of other people in our world who sometimes are not in their ideal place.
Here's something that I learned years ago. Hurt people hurt people. Did you
track that? Hurt people hurt people. When they're feeling injured in some way,
they're going to act out in ways that are not typical for them. As we're
considering how to deal with these negative people, let's start from a
position of compassion and empathy. Because you've been there too, haven't
you? Treat people the way you would want to
be treated. I still remember this experience when I was very young. I think
I was in kindergarten at the time. Probably 5 or 6 years old and this
cat got into our yard. And I, the courageous kindergartner am going to
defend this property. So, I went out there and chased the cat into a little corner.
And it was... It was kind of cornered between the garage and the house. And I
had this stick and I was like, "You get out of here you cat." And it jumped on me
and bit my leg. Now, is this a vicious cruel animal? No, it's somebody's kitty.
Why did it act like that? Because it was cornered and it felt threatened. Hurt
people hurt people. It's not in their nature to do it. Just realize that
they're going through some stuff. Now, there's a few things that we can do.
Number 1, put yourself in a position to observe rather than to judge.
You don't want to engage with the negativity. That's the very worst thing
that you could do. So back off, distance yourself from it enough that you can
simply observe what's going on. And be interested about it. People are
fascinating creatures. I've had people ask me before. "Doesn't so and so just
to irritate you?" And I'm like, "No. I'm actually pretty fascinated with that
person." This is a powerful position because it doesn't tip you over to have
them doing their thing. Instead it becomes a fascinating thing to observe.
That's powerful. Here's tip number 2. Actually learned this from some little
kids that I was interacting with and I heard one of them say to the other, "You
are not the boss of me." Have you ever felt that? You're not the boss of me. You don't
have to say this. In fact, that might make things worse. But simply think it. Take
that position in your own mind. You're not the boss of me. In other words, you
and your behavior, you don't get to decide what's going on inside of here.
Picture for just a minute that you have a brand new car. It's the car of your
dreams. It's this amazing vehicle that you love. And you're driving along in
your car and that person, that negative person in your life is standing right
there on the curb. And they hail to you and they say, "He,y nice ride. Mind if I
drive?" And you pull over to the side and you're like, "Argh. Man." you turn it off. You
get out. You hand them the keys. They get in fire it up and drive right into a
phone pole. Total the car, they get out they're just fine. They wave at you and
say, "Oh, sorry." Now, what's wrong with this story? Would you ever hand the keys to
your vehicle over to that person? No. What about your emotional life?
What about your own positivity? Are you willing to let Mr. negativity drive you?
You're not the boss of me? Pretty good tip coming from a little kid. Tip number
3. Choose and maintain your position. If positivity serves you well, don't buy
into all of the attempts to get you to adopt a negative mindset. You don't have
to buy what they're selling. Choose your attitude. Choose your position. And then
maintain it. I think it's a pretty good idea to choose a position that serves
you well. Are you on board with that? Let's go to tip number 4. For this one,
I'm going back to a movie that I got to watch with my daughter a while back.
Cinderella. Alright. Not the old cartoon one. I'm talking the newer live-action
Cinderella that was produced. And as we were watching this movie, Cinderella's
mother, before she passed away gave her some very profound advice. She said, "Have
courage and be kind." Have courage and be kind. Let's apply that to how we can deal
with negative people. Start with the end. Be kind. Don't let anyone take you off of
your resolution to be kind, to choose love. To show up with integrity because
of who you are. Not because of what they deserve. But simply because you're a kind
loving person. And then the courage part? Sometimes we have to put a little
distance between ourselves and those negative people. That takes some courage.
Do it in a kind way. And remember, choosing love and kindness does not mean
that you lie down and let people run all over you. It might mean that you put a
little distance there in that relationship. And that's okay. We'll have
to talk about that in some other videos. I hope those 4 tips
help. You're going to have some chances to practice this stuff. I would love to
know how it works out for you. Would you interact through the comments? Leave us
some comments here about how it's working for you and I'll see you in the
next episode.