Okay, here it is. "My husband always
complains about
everything." I'm Paul Friedman I founded
The Marriage Foundation
and we hear this. We hear this from both
spouses, the husband
and the wife, and you start to get a
sense that
"God! Why is my husband
so negative? Why is he always complaining
about everything?"
And you know it's not that unusual in
the world especially among
men who are middle age in their
mid-40s or so, and you've heard the term
grumpy old men
and I'll tell you why that happens first
of all
and it's probably not going to be a
surprise to you.
It happens because as human beings
we have an innate expectation,
we do. It's built into us because we're
souls.
That expectation is that we experience
happiness because the soul is
pure joy and that we experience
love, love and happiness
not coincidentally. These are
the promises of marriage too. So marriage
takes up most of our life, it doesn't matter
who you are.
It's the biggest part of your life.
Where is the happiness? Where's the love?
And so, your husband is slowly
succumbing to being
the discouragement of his life.
He's not going to get satisfaction at
work maybe a little bit,
from sports maybe a little bit, hobbies
maybe a little bit but most of us get
sucked
into the tube watching TV.
I don't watch
TV at all. I don't care what's going on
in the world
but I've learned. I care about what's
going on inside my heart
and my wife cares about what's going on
inside my heart
too. And you're complaining about your
husband complaining
and I don't mean
to be mean towards you but you're
looking for a solution, right?
The solution is not to get away from him.
You married him because you loved him
and you still do.
The solution is to try to bring
happiness and love into his life.
Now that may be overwhelming. You may go,
"How do I do that?"
And it's an interesting thing because
everything that we do in life
requires some sort of maintenance yet we
never
learn that marriage requires specific
kinds
of maintenance. Now subscribing to this
channel is going to help you because
you'll learn so definitely do that
right now. You could go to our website
the marriagefoundation.org and you could
listen to the podcast that we now
produce
and you could also look at our products.
We have books.
Books will help you tremendously
because they're not trendy they're all
about
marriage, and if you're really starting
to
go you know "this marriage is not
really even happening" that's a bad
sign then you get the course for women
and you learn how to lift it up. Now
you're not going to
change your husband but environment is a
very
powerful thing. You're his primary
environment in life. So if you become
upbeat, loving, supportive,
complementary, smiling
that's his environment. You think he's
going to continue
down this path of complaining about
everything,
I don't think so. I know he won't.
Test it. Test it a little bit for a
couple of days
then get one of our products and really
enhance your marriage
so you also can get the benefit
of learning how to love unconditionally.
It's important to do that and learn how
to be happy.
Learn how to control your emotions and
your thoughts.
There's so much.
Western psychology has pretty much taken
over
marriage with their marriage counseling
and
it's unfortunate, and these are
good people.
The people who become marriage
counselors are good people
but they don't really learn even how the
mind works.
You would expect, you would think.
Wouldn't you? That
the people who are experts about how the
mind works
are marriage counselors and other
therapists.
Well, I've trained a bunch of them and
the very first thing we do
in the trainings is I lay out how the
mind works. In fact,
I lay it out also for people who take
the courses
because it's so important. So I'll never
forget my first batch, I thought, "Okay.
I'll go through how the mind works in
the first
class and then we can move on to this
other stuff."
They were all sitting there with their...
25 people
I can't remember. I think I started with
25 ended up with 13
and their jaws were like holy mackerel.
It was all new stuff to them
and it was basic stuff. I talked about
things like
how your mind filters information
doesn't really see what's going on. It
sees it according
to habitual filters that
shocked them. Can you imagine? Isn't that
obvious?
Wouldn't you think that a therapist
would
know that? I talked about how the mind
processes
information, how habits control you
and how you need to learn how to control
your habits. They never thought of that.
They never thought that you have the
power as an
individual to literally replace negative
habits with positive habits.
It was fascinating to me.
Well, maybe this is why we get such good
results with our courses but
neither here nor there. You have the
power to solve
every problem that comes your way.
You do. It's built into you. Human beings
are designed
to be happy and filled with love and
walking around
with a smile. And if you're not, guess
what, and this was
a news to them too. You have free will.
Why aren't you? Using that free will
to control your mood. All right. I'm going
too far off of track.
Thank you for spending time with me! Like
the video,
like me and I'm joking. Like the video,
leave a comment and take care. God bless!