[Music]
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now onto the topic of letting go of
painful memories requested by a viewer
have you ever done something that made
you regret it
or hurt hurtful words directed to you
that slipped for a loved one's mouth
some actions affect us more than others
depending on what we take more
personally as a result the past often
becomes full of heavy emotional baggage
we bring with us wherever we go so how
do we move forward and leave it for good
here are eight ways to let go of painful
memories 1 identify what triggers you
this can be closely linked to your
childhood
think about what upsets you is it
someone raising their voice at you
perhaps it's when you're pressured into
doing something uncomfortable even if
that individual is only kidding around
depending on the context of the trigger
your brain might not readily identify
that it's not a real threat grow aware
of the circumstances you are sensitive
to train yourself to practice calming
techniques when you encounter them to
allow room for mistakes do you consider
yourself a perfectionist are often
desired quick fast results
unfortunately healing is not a linear
path nor is it a swift process the truth
is you're gonna make a lot of mistakes
along the way don't beat yourself up if
you still give in to your negative
thoughts or failed to live in the
present it takes time to get used to new
healthy changes recognize when you've
slipped back into your old toxic ways
and ask yourself what you can do next
time to avoid repeating the same pattern
3 put yourself in the offenders shoes
painful memories continue to haunt us
when we hold grudges against those who
have wronged us and yes while you may
have every right to be angry at them for
abusing betraying lying or cheating on
you holding onto anger in the long run
will damage you more than the person who
hurt you putting yourself in the
offenders shoes doesn't mean you make up
excuses for their poor behavior but it
can shift your perspective which may
encourage you to forgive them and let
for accept what you cannot change it's
easy to play the victim but when you
focus too much on what the other person
did that upset you it means you also
give them all the power to control how
you feel rather than feeling powerless
shift your focus onto what you can
change and go from there remember you
may not be responsible for what happened
to you but you have the responsibility
over what affects you from now on 5 pry
it out crying often gets a bad rap for
being associated with weakness but this
is far from the truth in fact
researchers continuously support that
crying away your negative emotions
releases the harmful chemicals that
build up in your body over time when you
bottle them up never feel like you have
to man up or stay strong or internalize
your pain this can do more harm than
healing in the long run 6 embrace
rationality emotions exist to tell us
what's working for us and what is it but
solely relying on them can cloud our
judgment and we may grow too comfortable
with negative emotions over time that we
drown instead of learning to swim when
we ruminate over past memories we
neglect to use our logic although it's
impossible to stay 100% detached we can
take a more rational approach to
understand our trauma through a
different perspective 7 recondition your
negative thoughts one technique you can
use is wearing a rubber band on one of
your wrists every time you catch
yourself thinking bad thoughts gently
flick the band on your wrist
the uncomfortable feeling you get while
doing this will train your mind to
associate it with your negative
obsessions your ruminating might not
stop all together but it can be modified
under your supervision
eight don't take yourself too seriously
it would be sad if life only consisted
of paying bills healing from broken
hearts and working but it's not it can
be so much more if we open ourselves to
go company and new places amplifying
your ego is great if you want to build
confidence but taking yourself too
seriously within the process is actually
a waste of time when you could be
laughing and having the time of your
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