I see you over there.
Still procrastinating on that thing you were supposed to do a couple of days ago...
Or a couple of weeks ago.
I see you dragging your feet, but at least
now you're watching videos about it, right?
You know, actually, that's true. The "cure" to procrastination starts with acknowledging that you're procrastinating
in the first place.
At least you're no longer procrastinating on addressing your procrastination.
And since you have already shown SO MUCH INITIATIVE,
I can guarantee you that there's at least a 50% chance
that by the time this video is over, you will begin (at least) to address your procrastination.
Here's the summary:
the cure for procrastination is actually in reframing your thinking.
I'm not going to try to motivate you into action, I'm going to try to prove to you
that the way that you're thinking about things is in the wrong perspective.
The idea here is that if you address the thoughts that you're having, your behaviors will follow.
But you really need to be honest with yourself about this,
And you really need to do the physical task that I'm about to as you to do.
First thing's first - you gotta grab a notebook and something to write with.
If you don't have a notebook, you can use two pieces of paper, but I would NOT recommend
you use any kind of digital device.
Of course, you're probably watching this on a laptop or a phone or a tablet... but you can keep this off to the side.
The key is that we don't want you to get distracted by the internet.
Okay - whatever the thing is that you're procrastinating on, you want to write it on the upper left.
And then draw a line, and on the left column, you're going to write ADVANTAGES. On the right column, you're going to write DISADVANTAGES.
And I know - it seems simple, basic... kind of stupid.
But just trust me here -
You're going to go through all of the advantages of IF that thing that you're procrastinating on was completed,
and then you're going to list all the disadvantages of if that thing was completed.
Some possible general advantages could be that you would have a mood lift,
you would no longer feel like there was something weighing you down.
you could move on to other, different tasks
you could have some kind of mental clarity from the fact that this
no longer is on your list of things to do.
depending on the task itself, there might be specific advantages, like maybe it's something where you'll
get a bunch of money if you do it.
Or maybe it's something where you'll clear up the air of a relationship that has been kind of foggy for a while.
Whatever advantages you can think of, just run down the list and write them all out.
Then we're gonna do the same thing with the "disadvantages" side, you you gotta be perfectly honest with this,
list every disadvantage you can think of.
Some easy ones are that the task may be difficult, you might be nervous to start it,
there might be fear of failure - or fear of success!
You might have a bit of imposter syndrome about it. There's also the fact that while you're doing this task,
you don't want to do, you can't do other things that you MIGHT want to do -
so, the time spent on it is going to be unenjoyable time - verses if you put it off and procrastinate more,
you could spend your time in ways that are fun!
Once you list out all of the advantages and disadvantages, you're going to write a number - a percentage - of
what you think the advantages are next to what you think the disadvantages are.
For example, you could do 60/40.
Either side could win.
It might seem a bit arbitrary, but just go with your gut on this. Assign numbers that add up to 100, and
measure the consequences against each other - disadvantages against advantages.
If you have found that your number for DISADVANTAGES outweighs the ADVANTAGES column,
then maybe you don't actually need to do this task at all!
Consider this -
maybe you've been putting it off because you feel like you "should" do it,
because other people are encouraging you to do it,
but in your soul, you don't feel like it's right for YOU.
Perhaps the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but you're still not feelin' it - for whatever reason -
and you can't put your finger on it.
In that case, maybe you do actually need time.
Maybe you do need to put it off.
Sometimes we do need breaks - we need to slow down, we need to take some time just in bed
to lay around and wait for inspiration to hit us.
Time spent in bed or recharging can be very productive,
so maybe what you need in this case is to
ACTUALLY RELAX
and let yourself relax. And in a day or two,
you might actually feel like you're now ready to tackle that task.
Now, if you are self-sabotaging, and this can manifest as
imposter syndrome, fear of failure, fear of success, or paralyzing perfectionism,
you might feel like you actually don't deserve whatever it is that you're trying to get out of this.
You might feel like your self-worth is not there.
You might be avoiding opportunities on purpose, because you're choosing to be self-destructive.
In that case, I would pose the question to you:
what would happen if you actually suddenly felt worthy?
If you suddenly deserved everything? What would happen?
What's the worst thing that would happen?
This might bring up some fears in you - but in my experience, and from what I've read and heard from other people,
the only way - truly - to get past your fears
is through exposure...
which I know is not what anyone wants to hear.
The only way to figure out that you won't actually fall on your face and die if you do this task
is to try a little bit of the task and realize that you didn't fall on your face and die.
Something that's been really helpful to me is to realize while I'm procrastinating, I feel
shameful. I feel hatred for myself, for the fact that I'm procrastinating.
And those feelings are not tied to the task; they're tied to
the "not doing" of the task.
There is a 100% chance, if you feel shame and humiliation for putting off a task
that you will continue to feel that way if you continue putting off the task.
Do you want to continue to feel that way 100%?
Or have the possibility that you wouldn't feel that way anymore?
So, once you determine that the task does actually need to get done,
by looking at these consequence numbers at the bottom of your page,
you need to realize that some level of action is required to spark motivation,
which sparks further action.
The motivation doesn't come first though - a little bit of action comes first.
Hopefully by now, you've decided whether or not this task is actually meant to be moved forward -
if you ACTUALLY actually want this thing to be completed.
So now we're going to use the second piece of paper to make a "plan for completion."
You're again going to divide this into two and write ADVANTAGES and DISADVANTAGES - but
THIS is going to be the advantages of getting started on this task
TODAY
- this very day, within the next 24 hours.
You're going to do the same thing that you did before, but it's all going to be TODAY -
advantages of getting started on it TODAY, disadvantages of getting started on it TODAY
and then at the bottom, again, divide the 100% by what you think,
advantages verses disadvantages.
Now, I'm not saying you need to complete the task today - just get started on it.
If you have found that there are still more advantages than disadvantages,
and your "consequences" scale is still skewed towards the advantages,
then at the bottom of this piece of paper, you're going to write down a time.
The time when you will start.
Did you do it? Did you write a time?
Even if it's just five or fifteen minutes of working on this task, you need to start TODAY on it,
and you need to write down a time.
Did you - did you write down a time?
As I said in the beginning of this video, it's not going to work unless you ACTUALLY commit yourself to it, so
write down a time.
Did you write down a time?
Have you - uh -
have you written down a time yet?
I would go even further as to set an alarm for that time.
And so starting today, you're going to chip away at that task.
You don't need to sit down for a long period of time, you just need to start today
and do a small portion.
Over a period of weeks, it will be done.
And then look at all the advantages that you will have.
Now as I said in the beginning, it's probably a 50% chance that this is actually going to help you a lot.
It has helped me for certain things, but you might also need
more professional help than I can definitely provide.
This entire exercise is based on "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David Burns.
He is actually a doctor - I do not have any kind of medical experience -
but I would highly recommend that for anyone who is interested in therapy but not quite ready to commit
or needs some extra help between their therapy sessions.
I would say it's especially good if you happen to be someone who's been procrastinating
on actually getting yourself to therapy.
Maybe that's something that you should
fill out the chart for!
This kind of therapy is called CBT, it's really geared towards
changing your behaviors, rather than going into your past and
delving into your deep dark secrets and your history of whatever.
This just focuses on what you can do NOW, some exercises you can do NOW,
to change the way that you're thinking now, and help your behaviors
get you to a place that's a bit more comfortable.
You CAN change the way that you feel by changing the way that you think.
[I know that this has been helpful for me in the past; I hope it helps somebody else out there.
'til next time!
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