The following meditation is led by Tara Brach. To access more of my meditations
or join my email list, please visit Tarabrach.com.
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As you come into stillness, take a few full breaths nice deep in breath and a
slow out-breath and again a nice deep full in-breath filling the chest filling
the lungs and then a slow out-breath feeling the sensations of the breath
as you exhale.
Letting the breath resume its natural rhythm... just feel this body
breathing and take some moments to scan in your life. You might notice where
your relationships with others or in your own behavior, you feel like you've
turned on yourself in some way. It might be in a situation where you're in conflict
with another person but feeling bad about yourself.
Maybe you've turned on yourself... you're at war with yourself for a way that
you're behaving as a parent, a partner, a friend. You might be judging yourself or
down on yourself for something to do with work...
or maybe it's for an addictive behavior.
Where do you get into the trance of unworthiness? - the trance of not okay?
And let your attention go to that place where you know you get into the trance...
And for now, just let yourself kind of get close into it so you can
feel the sense of how it is to be living inside that mind-state of the
belief that in some way you're falling short
you should be different
perhaps there's a sense of not lovable not okay, not respectable -
something's wrong
We begin the RAIN of self-compassion by recognizing this is trance -
at war with myself.
Recognizing the thoughts and feelings of the trance... just allowing that all to be
here right now... making room for what's here. The "A" of RAIN is just to allow this
is how it is right now.
We begin to investigate with curiosity - with gentleness...
So what's it like when I'm in this trance? You might sense what you're
believing about yourself and other people. If that comes quickly, just you
know, what's the belief right there
I should be different...?
I'm bad because I'm hurting others...?
no one could love me... I'll always fail? Sense what might be built in there
What kind of core belief...?
and most important - feel your body and sense when you're in the trance of
unworthiness, what is it like in your body? What's your throat feel like? - your
chest? your belly? when you're really feeling bad about yourself?
The most important part of investigating is connecting with the embodied experience,
Sense the most vulnerable part of you where you feel the worst,
sense what that part most needs
the part that feels deficient, not okay What does it need?
Does it need to be seen in a different way
and loved understood? held? Just sense that and
as you're listening into that, as you're feeling into that place in you
that is feeling not okay,
you might experiment with putting your hand on your heart just lightly... a very
tender touch... this is the beginning of turning towards loving - towards the "N"
of RAIN - the nourishing -
and sense the possibility of offering what's most
needed inwardly...
perhaps there's words that you might offer?
Sometimes "it's okay sweetheart" or "I'm sorry and I love you,"
Thich Nhat Hanh says
"Darling I care about this suffering." is a powerful phrase
or it might be as the minister
that you sense the love of God or the Divine flowing through you
or for me that kiss on the brow of pure care. Sense the possibility of calling on
love and offering it inward. Nourish with self compassion.
Each time you nourish self-compassion... let it be a fresh creative exploration
of what really allows you to feel love flowing into your own being.
You might imagine light warmth pouring in and just the intention to offer care
inwardly, begins to decondition that tendency to be at war.
The meditation becomes full when after the steps of RAIN, we simply notice
who am I if I'm not any longer believing anything's wrong?
Sensing that tenderness - the openness - the spaciousness of being
when we're not at war.
From the teachings of Bapuji - Indian master - he says, "My beloved child,
break your heart no longer. Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart.
You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality. The time has
come - your time to live, to celebrate, and see the goodness that you are. Let no one,
no thing, no idea, or ideal obstruct you. If one comes, even the name of truth,
forgive it for its unknowing. Do not fight - let go and
breathe into the goodness that you are
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