- I will say it's challenging.
- [Lisa] Yeah.
- You know,
I was raised a pastor's daughter and a Godly family,
but a Godly family isn't a perfect family.
- [CeCe] Right.
- You know? - Right.
- We can all agree on that. - [CeCe] We can.
- And so, for me, as I look back over my life,
I had three unexpected crises that hit my family
and my life and they could've crippled me
or they could launch me.
But the first one, it was the unexpected
crisis of divorce.
So, my family, all I ever knew was just this Godly,
I never saw my parents fight.
So, out of nowhere, my mom sits me down
and says, "Dad.
"He's been traveling the world,
"telling people about Jesus, nothing better."
And then she sits me down and says, "He's not coming home."
So in order to see dad,
I had to leave my mom and go see dad.
In order to see mom, I had to leave my dad.
So, it started to create the way I saw,
I guess, myself, the way I saw family.
- Well, you question everything after that.
- Yeah, it just...
Yeah, it was like the rug just, you know?
(all voice agreement)
Just taken right out - yeah, pulled from me.
[Laurie] How old were you, Taylor
I was seven.
- [Lisa] Seven, wow.
- And you know, you're preaching Jesus.
You're attending all these services.
And all the sudden, this hit.
And I knew divorce was bad but I didn't know how bad
it really was until I had to walk that thing out, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
- And then, from there,
so my dad eventually remarries.
I mean, he's young.
My mother is my rock and I'm like,
my dad remarried so my loyalty is to my mother, you know?
(all voice agreement)
But from there, she filed bankruptcy.
And that's where her journey of addiction started.
And so, once again, another hit.
Where this is my rock,
this is the one thing I'm holding onto.
And now all the sudden, she's alive but she's not living.
- Yeah.
- And so, more identity,
I feel like was stolen from me
and just voids in my heart and my soul.
And so, I eventually get into a relationship.
And then, I end up a teen pregnant out of wedlock.
So, this three-year relationship.
So, all of these things.
I think it's.. you have to be very careful
not to allow bitterness to creep in.
And then, also the confusion of my identity.
I was searching for anything.
So, I was in church, which was so crazy.
I loved Jesus with all of my heart.
And yet, I was still so empty.
And so, for me, I guess just practical tools
that I learned from that though
was the importance of, as we talked about earlier,
was community for me.
Because I couldn't see my future.
There was no hope for my future.
But other people saw it for me.
And so, other people fought for me.
Fought on my behalf, they spoke into my life
words of truth whenever all I could hear were lies.
And obviously, through prayer.
I mean, prayer was an anchor.
You know, it paved the way, I think, to my future.
Surrendering.
All over and over and over and over again.
'Cause I continued to want to go back actually,
because going back was comfortable.
It's all I knew.
- Certainly.
- But leaving everything behind and moving forward.
It was a faith journey.
But I had to renew my mind daily.
- [CeCe] Daily.
- You know?
- [Havilah] Yep.
- And then, once again, as we've talked about,
counseling changed my life.
You know, it's for so many years has been such a huge no-no.
- Mm-hmm.
- Like, "Don't do that."
Like, "Jesus is your counselor."
Well, He is your counselor, He's the wonderful counselor.
But He speaks and He uses people.
- [CeCe] That's right.
- That's community, that's our gift.
And so walking though a ten year journey
of counseling has literally changed my life.
And it's weird because...
I don't even know how to express it
except the truth sets you free.
- Yup.
- And it's like so many things were hidden
in my heart and in my soul that
I didn't even know were there,
and I was operating out of it.
- [Lisa] Mm-hmm.
- And then it's like an outside voice
that comes in and speaks into those dark places.
- Right.
- And then light, God is light, He is truth.
And all of a sudden I wake up one day
and I'm like, "I'm free."
(soft guitar music)
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