Can we tell what we're petting using only our petting parts?
Let's talk about that.
♪ (theme music) ♪
- Good Mythical Morning! - Welcome to the show...
...Emmy-award-winning actor and star of the hit HBO series Veep...
- Yes. Oh, very good friend. - ...and our friend, Tony Hale!
- Hey, Tony. How ya doin'? - Hey!
- So happy to be here. - Yes. Are you a fan of petting zoos?
- (laughing) It's a hard word. - (laughing)
- Petting zoos. - Nope, I'm not.
- Good, because it's time to play... - (Rhett & Link) What Am I Petting?
- ♪ (Whaaaaat?) ♪ - All right, here we are in the...
...petting zoo palace area. Did you know we had one of those?
It doesn't look like a palace, though. It's sort of like a yard.
- Well, to YOU it doesn't. - Well, you know, it's a containment...
- ...zone wherein something will be... - Okay.
...placed after I'm blindfolded. And then I will pet it. And then I will correctly
guess what it is. And I will get two points.
Now, listen. It's only petting. No prodding. No poking. No pinching.
Any other "p" things you can think of. Only petting.
All right. And if I'm at a loss, I can ask for a hint, which will be provided
to you and you will provide it to me. If I then guess it right, I get one point.
If I still don't get it, zero points and we rotate.
- ♪ (rock music) ♪ - (Rhett & Link) Round one!
Bring it in.
(Tony and Rhett laughing)
- Pet that, Link. - (Tony) Yeah, enjoy.
- I'm brining m petters in. - They're comin'. It's ready.
- Oh, mama! (laughing) - There it is. (laughing)
It's a little sticky.
Ooh! (laughing)
Pet! Pet! Pet, man! Pet. Pet. Yes.
I think petting is more like a pat and a caress.
- You're just hitting it. - (Rhett) There you go.
- (Tony) It likes that. - (Link) It's got a certain direction.
- Oh, gosh. I've -- ooh. - It's responding to you.
- It looks happy! - This is not making me...
- (Tony makes a "whoosh" noise) - ...ah!
- (everyone on and offscreen laughing) - The sound effect coming from your...
...mouth area is what gave it away. Other than that, I would've thought...
- Shoot. - ...it was biting me. This is like a...
- ...eel. I'm afraid to pet the front. - I don't blame ya.
- (laughing) - It's not a catfish, is it?
- It's not gonna, like, sting me? - Well, you gotta pet and find out.
- Ooh, gosh. (laughing) - I'm so afraid! My armpits are...
- ...sweatin' bad! Okay, okay. - (crew offscreen laughing)
- (Link) It's definitely a fish. - The way you pet is so interesting.
- Do you touch people like this, too? - (laughing)
Do you want a hint, or do you wanna just go for the guess?
- I'm going with, uh, non-electric eel! - You should've gone with your instinct...
- ...Link. It's a catfish! - It is a catfish! (incorrect buzzer)
- Ayoo! - I thought it would have whiskers...
- ...on the end of it! - I think they cut 'em off for your safety.
- ♪ (rock music) ♪ - (Rhett & Link) Round Two!
Is there, like, and in-house therapist, because this triggers all my fear...
- ...of uncertainty. - (laughing)
- Wow. - (Tony) Okay.
- All right, start high. - Start -- geez, Louise!
- (laughing) - Oh, mama. Hah!
- (laughing) - Ahh! What the heck?!
- Whatcha got there? - What the heck?!
- (everyone offscreen laughing) - Whoa! (laughing)
(Tony) Mama mama mama!
- This is some kind of taxidermy situation. - Oh, are you sure?
- Well, I'm sorry. If it's not, then... - What if it's just being very still?
- (laughing) - Stay!
- Okay, I'm gonna say it's a... ugh! - Stay!
Ugh! Okay, if you touch my hand again, I'm gonna get really pissed.
- (everyone on and offscreen laughing) - It's not -- I'm not touching you!
Okay, this is -- Oh, my phone just went off, and it scared the crap outta me.
(everyone on and offscreen laughing)
- Go around front. - What do you mean go around front?
- Over the top. Yeah. - (Tony) You talking to me?
Oh, okay. So I think this is a taxidermied mouse. Well, no.
Actually, this wouldn't be a mouse. The horns. It's a, um...
Not a deer, but a... (stammering) Come on. What is it?
- An older deer. - An older deer.
- (Rhett and crew offscreen laughing) - Yeah, it's like it's not Bambi, but...
...it's the older version. A staff. A staff. Gol-ly!
- It's gonna fall overfill I don't hold it. - It's like a staff.
- Is that what they call it? - (laughing) No.
- (Tony) What are they called? - A stag?
- (Tony laughing) - A stick that Gandalf walks with?
- Guys, it's Gandalf's stick... - (Rhett & Link laughing)
- ...in Lord of the Rings. - (laughing)
All right, so do you want a hint, or is that you final answer?
- Yeah, I'll take a hint. - "Simba and Mufasa eat these."
- So it's a stag. Don't they eat stags? - That would be another hint, but no.
- Well, they look like stags, don't they? - Mm, yeah.
Okay, that's my final answer. Stuffed stag.
Okay, we're gonna need to go to the judges on this. Tony, you can take a look.
- It's a gazelle, right? - Oh, come on!
- No, this is an antelope. - Antelope? Antelope.
- Oh, it's an antelope. - We need to get confirmation.
- Is a male antelope called a stag? - (Stevie) A male antelope is called...
- ... a buck. (incorrect buzzer) - Ooh! A buck!
Well, I've lost three friends now. - (Rhett & Link laughing)
- Okay, no points on the board yet! - Nope.
- ♪ (rock music) ♪ - (Rhett & Link) Round Three!
- Okay. Bring it in. - (incredulously laughing) Ohoohoo!
- Godspeed. - Now, you gotta go total open hand...
- ...with this thing. - Is it in place?
- (Tony) Yes, it's in place. - (Link) It's in place.
(Link) Bring the other one. Oh. (laughing)
- (Tony laughing) There you go. - Petting, not massaging.
- (Link) What? - (crew offscreen laughing)
- What? - (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
- (Rhett) What is the bottom? - You're getting a little too acquainted...
- ...with it. - (Rhett) Ooh, that feels like a face.
It's gonna wanna go home with you if you keep this up.
- (Rhett) Oh. Okay. - (Tony) You're making a mess of it.
- (Rhett) Ew. Ugh. - (Link laughing)
(Rhett) Oh! Oh! - (Link) It's not viable anymore.
I know what this is! I have some experience with these.
- What's your guess? - How specific do I have to be?
- Very specific. - It's a chia head.
- (Tony) All right. - (Link) Maybe not.
- Do I have to say who it is? - I mean, I had to say.
- (Link) Or what it is. - They didn't buy "stuffed stag" for me.
(Rhett) This is next-level stuff right here. This is like...
I don't wanna watch you caress it anymore. That's what's getting weird for me.
It's a chia head skull. It's a chia head skull. That's what it is, y'all!
- You have a choice to make. - It's chia Skeletor!
- Final answer? - Final answer.
All right. Check it out. So, I'm gonna give you one point...
- Oh, this is Chia Lincoln. - ...'cause it's not the Lincoln.
You should've got that, man. You should've got that it was the Chia Lincoln.
We still have that?
- ♪ (rock music) ♪ - (Rhett & Link) Round Four!
Okay, I gotta try to get some points on the board.
- Yep. - All right, bring it in, Alex.
- My feelers are ready. - Ohohoho!
- Zookeeper Alex is going to hold this... - Ohhh! Ohoho!
- ...one in place for you, Link. - (Link) What?
(Rhett) So don't confuse Alex's hands with what you're petting, okay?
- (Link) Okay. - But come on in and pet!
- Oh, come ON! Sorry, that was loud. - Just... (stammering)
...that's Alex's... That's his head.
- This is Alex? - You knocked his hat off.
- I'm sorry, Alex. - Now, why don't you just go down to...
...what he's holding, Link? There you go.
(Link) If Alex can hold it, that means I can pet it.
- (Rhett) That's right. - (Link whispering) What is that?
- That is right. Yessir! - (laughing)
- What?! - I'm dealing with anxiety with laughter!
- Guys, I -- ! - Pet it like you've never pet before, Link.
- My rectum is so tight. - Can't stop laughing.
- (everyone on and offscreen laughing) - (Rhett) Link, bring in both hands...
- ...and pet like you mean it, man! - (Link) Ahh ah, no!
- (Tony, high hum) Mmmmm! - No, it's not a snake!
- (Link) It's definitely a snake, isn't it? - Pet it like you love it, Link.
- Pet it like you love it! - Easy. Easy. Easy.
They can sense the heat of fear that's radiating from my body.
- (Tony) And mine. - I was just told not to yell again.
- (Rhett) Apparently that -- - (Link) Okay. Okay. All right.
- (Link) There it is. I'm done petting it. - I hear ya.
- Okay, it that your final answer? - Yeah, I mean, it's a snake, man!
It's not a snake. It's an eel, Link! (forced laughter) It's a snake.
- (correct ding) (laughing) - Dang it, Alex!
- What the... What is this, a boa? - It's a python.
- Python, man. - I was not petting its face, was I?
- You know what? I think we can move on. - (Link) I think I could hold it.
- Personally. I'm feeling next category. - Okay, Link, two points.
- Anyone else? - Congratulations, man!
- ♪ (rock music) ♪ - (Rhett & Link) Round Five!
- Chase, bring it in. - Come on, Chase.
(Rhett) But I think this one would be okay to not have...
(Rhett) I think it will stay in place, don't you think? I don't think Chase...
...needs to stay. I think it will stay in place.
- Uuuuuugh! - Okay. Now, Tony, I... just --
- Tony) Uuuugh! - It should stay in place.
- This is definitely a two-hander. - You know what? Chill.
- You got this, man. - (Tony) This triggers every fear.
The chances of you getting hurt are less than 30%.
Every childhood wound is coming to the table. I'm just letting you know.
- Sorry, Tony. - I need my therapist on speed dial.
- Come in at a 45, with both hands. - You know what? (punching fist)
With both hands. Like, go from a spread eagle to meeting in the middle.
He can't see the motions you're making. He's wearing a blindfold.
Where is it? Is it it low? Unnnnh! (fearful gasp)
- (Rhett, Link, and crew laughing) - You found it.
- I can't tell you how much I'm sweating. - it's not gonna hurt you.
- Dang it! - (Rhett laughing)
- No, no, no. I think I need my hint. - (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
- No, you need more petting, man. - You gotta pet first!
- (Rhett) You need more petting! - (Link) You've got to pet.
- Ahhhh! - (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
(clapping) You need real petting. You need real strokes.
- Stroke it. - All right. Oh, man.
Wait a second. What's happening right now?
- (everyone on and offscreen laughing) - First of all, whoever's down here...
- ...is shaking. - (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
- Okay, so you said WHO? - I said a who. This is a person...
- ...with a beard. - (Rhett & Link laughing)
(Tony) With long locks. Do I know this person?
- No. - I don't know this person.
- So it's a Rhett & Link employee. - We'll take that as a final answer.
- (laughing) - Take a look.
- Ah. - For two points, look. It's Eddie!
- (correct ding) - (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
- He's been down there the whole time! - (clapping)
- You were freaking out! - How was that for you, Eddie?
- Little weird. - I get it. Well, you're welcome.
(everyone on and offscreen laughing)
- ♪ (rock music) ♪ - (Rhett & Link) Round Six!
Okay. Bring it in.
- (Tony) Ohhhhhhh! - (Link) All right. Here we go.
- Mama! - (Link) Mhm. Could be a mama.
- Oh, come on. - Two hands, zero in.
- Ohh, uhuah! - This doesn't require any assistance?
- No one's holding it? - I'd go slow, though.
Can I hurt it? is it something that can be hurt?
- First of all, this isn't 20 Questions. - (crew offscreen laughing)
(Tony) Gol-ly! Ugh! Now you're giving it a blessing.
- Oh! - (crew offscreen laughing)
- Just go slow and creep on in. - Creep?!
(Link) Creep on into it, before it creeps on out.
- (Rhett) Oh! - You haven't touched anything yet.
- (Tony) Mm mm mm. - (Rhett) What? What?
- (crew offscreen laughing) - (Link) Pet it. Pet it. Gentle.
You wanna make friends with this thing. Not enemies.
- (Link) There you go. There you go. - Do what you did to the chia pet.
- What was that thing?! - (everyone offscreen laughing)
- What was that part?! - Go to the left. There you go.
(Rhett) What?! It's sharp! Something is sharp!
- I hear ya. I hear ya! - (Link) I would go gentle. There you go.
- Somethin' is... what, it's... - Go more to the left than that.
(Rhett) It's alien! Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. Oh, yeah!
- (laughing) - Ohhhh yeaaaah!
- Oh yeah what? - Cheddar biscuits!
Haha! Ohoho yeah! This is where Beyoncé takes her man.
- Read the hint. - "Beyoncé takes Jay Z here...
- Yeah! - (everyone on and offscreen laughing)
...when he's been particularly nice to her."
- Yes! It's a lobster, baby! - I'll give you two points for that.
- I didn't even need the hint! - (correct ding)
- (laughing) You rubbin' up on a lobster! - That was real, too.
- Dang! It was respondin' to your touch. - It's alive.
- And it's starin' right at me. - You're in the lead with 3...
- ...and then Tony and I both have 2. - Okay, time for the lightning round.
- (whoosh sound effects) - ♪ (rock music) ♪
Okay, for the lightning round, we're not gonna be petting. We're going to be...
- ...being petted. By things, and as... - Mhm.
...soon as you think you know what it is, blurt out the answer. The first
person to get that particular thing right gets a point.
- Awesome! - Tony! Are you ready?
I'm right here, but I'm right here, Rhett. You're screaming in my ear. (laughing)
- It's for their benefit, Tony! - Got it!
- (Stevie) Okay, ready? - Yes.
- (Stevie) Set? Go! - (Tony) Uuuuugh!
- Pet me. - Ahhhh!
- (Rhett) Feather! - (Link) Feather, feather!
- (Stevie) Rhett! (bell ring) - (Rhett) Peacock feather!
- Satan! - What, I'm, I'm...
- Gosh! Gummy bears! - I can't feel it. Hit the forehead.
- More on the forehead! I'm just... oh. - Jumprope!
(smack) Ahhh! (laughing)
(Link) It's a slimy slingshot thing! A sticky slingshot. Sticky hand!
- (Stevie) Link! (bell ring) - Sticky hand! One of those...
- ...sticky hands! - (Stevie) Link!
- (Rhett) How did you get that? - (Link) My kid got one.
- Ah! Mama. Mama! - Oh, oh, oh. A sponge!
- Sandpaper! - (Rhett) What is that?
- (Tony) What is that?! -(Rhett) Everything feels the same!
- Get the face. Pet the face. - Yeah, pet my lips. Pet my lips!
- Get my lips, too! - Mmmm.... oh, oh, a flyswatter!
- (Stevie) Rhett! (bell ring) - Haha!
- Dang it! - How did you get... my gosh!
- Gotta pet the lips. - Petting the lips is...
- Do you just have, like, superhero senses? - Ooh, that's wet.
- Oh, oh, oh. - Well, somethin'.
- That's a little too intimate. - That's a wet mop, too.
- Gosh! - It's a squid!
Ah, oh, oh. Yeah, lower. Lower. Cheek. Cheek.
- Squid! - Cheek me! Cheek me!
- You can stay right... oh. - (Link) It is from the kitchen?
- This is edible, guys! - Great. Oh!
- Oh. Cheese! String cheese! - (Stevie) Link! (bell ring)
- (Tony) Is this the last one? - (laughing)
- (laughing) - Oh, it is wigs?
(Rhett) Oh, it's a... It's a person. It's a beast!
- Smells like a barn. - It does smell like a barnyard.
- It's a tail. - Hay? Hay?
- It's a cow tail! - Oh, it's a... Is it a horse tail?
- (Stevie) Yep! Tony! (bell ring) - Is that a horse tail? It was...
- ...in my mouth! - I was trying to eat it because I...
- ...thought it was pasta. - Well, somebody didn't ask me...
...if I was allergic to horses. - (laughing)
- Thank you. Thank you. - (Stevie) Okay, it looks like Rhett...
- ...is our winner. - ♪ (celebratory fanfare) ♪
- Wooo! Yeah. - Oh, dang it!
- I got sensitive lips! - Congratulations, Rhett.
All right. Thanks for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
(whispering) Tony, you say, "You know what time it is."
- You know what time it is. - Hi, I'm Mikayla, and this is Torch...
...from Illinois. And it's time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality!
Check out Tony on the fifth season of Veep, now on HBO. And also follow
him on Instagram: mrtonyhale! Plus click through to Good Mythical...
...More, where we are gonna perform an online quiz on Tony entitled...
- ..."Which Veep Character Are You?" - Oh!
- That could be interesting. - Wa!
- (Link) End, wheel! - End wheel!
- Don't make this awkward. - (all three) Freeze fraaaaaame!
- What's that?! - (camera click)
♪ (calming music) ♪
[Captioned by Kevin: GMM Captioning Team]