The last thing I want
is for you to end up
in a toxic relationship.
So many individuals
have found themselves in this position
and I know many will say
well, they didn't see it coming.
And sometimes that can be the case,
but many times, there were signs.
I just need you to know what they are
and become mindful of them.
So, I’m going to give you
the three early signs
of a toxic relationship.
My name is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks.
Your life, dating, and relationship coach
here to give you some relationship insight and advice
so that you can make better decisions
and have more successful experiences
as well as amazing relationships.
Now, before we get into today's topic of
three early signs of a toxic relationship.
Please be sure to like this video,
share it, subscribe to this channel,
and leave your sign
of a toxic relationship
in the comment section.
Give me your feedback,
let's talk about it,
let's see what you guys have picked up on,
experienced, or think
someone else needs to know.
Now again, toxic relationships are
something we need to avoid,
but many have not.
Many have gone through this ordeal
and have suffered greatly for it
have experienced so much
emotional damage and trauma,
which has only led to
a negative cycle in their life.
Which is why it's so important for me
to help you avoid these things.
Now, as I always say
there's going to be red flags
and you got to be willing to address them.
But there's also just some
very clear signs that you cannot ignore
when we're trying to escape
the trap of a toxic relationship.
So, with no further ado,
let's get right to it.
Toxic tip or
toxic sign number one, all right.
Early sign of a toxic relationship is
poor communication.
Now, hear me out because I know
on the surface that may not sound like
that's toxic I mean,
a lot of people struggle to communicate.
But what you have to understand is
poor communication
is the foundation a lot of times
of a toxic relationship.
Because you can't find me
a toxic relationship
that involves two people
who have great communication,
it doesn't happen,
it's pretty much hand in hand.
If it's toxic
the communication is horrible, all right.
Either they're not talking,
either they're yelling at each other,
whatever the case may be
it is not a healthy dynamic.
So, early on
in the dating phase in the relationship,
when you recognize the communication is poor
even if it's as simple as
they're not cursing you out
but they're just not talking about it.
This is a problem
because even when again,
it may not be abusive language,
what can happen is
in the process or in
experiencing this poor communication
it will create frustration,
it can create resentment.
Those negative feelings and emotions
can now create negative behaviors,
can create negative actions.
So, you see it can basically plant the seed,
the poor communication,
of the toxic energy
that will now be experienced
in that relationship dynamic.
So, you cannot turn a blind eye
to poor communication.
That has to be resolved asap.
And listen, if you can't talk to each other
there's no point in being together, all right.
Relationships need communication.
That's how you succeed,
that's how you guys make sure
you're on the same page,
that's how you will move forward in harmony.
So, make sure that's established
and if it cannot,
get out of that situation
because it's not going to get better
and it's not just going to magically change
if they're not willing
to work on it with you.
Now, in going forward from that
poor communication,
early sign number two of a toxic relationship
is disrespectful language.
So, there are some situations,
I’m not saying this will
apply directly to you.
And let me make this very clear
if you haven't caught on to it yet.
This is for men and women
because this toxic behavior
can be seen in men and women.
These aren't just men
behaving in these ways,
there are women with poor communication
and there are women with disrespectful language
and as well as
the third thing I will mention in a few.
However, let's get to it.
Again, men and women
engage in disrespectful language
and when you see that,
that needs to be nipped in the bud.
Because the reality is this,
it is very unlikely for this person
who is speaking disrespectfully to you today
is going to magically respect you later
especially if you don't nip it in the bud.
Because if you tolerate
or make excuses for their disrespectful language,
you are enabling
their disrespectful language
and it will go from not just language,
but it will go from language
to behavior, all right.
And the reality is that
it's a sign that they do not respect you.
Now yes, some people come from very
dysfunctional households to where,
they may not understand
this way of speaking to you is disrespectful.
They may not understand
initially I’m talking about,
that certain behaviors are disrespectful,
which is why I always say
you must address these things first.
Not recognize or see it as disrespect
and then cut them off.
Because there can be a misunderstanding.
that may sound crazy but it's true.
However, if they're serious about you,
if they're trying to have
a healthy relationship with you,
when you address the disrespect
and you let them know it's a problem
and you don't do it by disrespecting them in return.
Because if you attack them in return
they're going to get defensive,
you're not going to get anywhere with that situation.
If you address the disrespect
in a calm loving manner
yes, you got to be the bigger person
at that moment, all right.
And they're not receptive to that,
that is a clear sign
this isn't going to change.
That is a clear sign
they either don't respect you,
they're not serious about being with you,
or they are not emotionally ready
to have a healthy relationship.
So, do not look
at the disrespectful language
as oh, they're just you know,
that's just how they are,
or even some people brush it off
as like it's something cute
and it's not.
it's not because again,
that language turns into
disrespectful behavior and action,
which again turns into
an extremely toxic relationship.
So, you've got to draw the line immediately
and establish what is acceptable
and what is not acceptable.
And you have to make sure
you don't engage
in the disrespect as well.
Because many people
validate or excuse the behavior
because they're engaging in it, all right.
And so, now, how can you
hold them to a standard
if you're stooping down to their level?
That's not going to work.
You have to keep the high road
and they have to meet you up there
and if they're not going to
get rid of them, plain and simple.
Tip number three or I mean not tip,
but early sign of a toxic relationship
number three is a bad temper.
Now listen,
let's start with this.
Sometimes you don't experience
that bad temper as far as it
being directed to you.
And because it's not being directed at you,
you may make an excuse for it.
You may see it as not a big deal
again, you may see
your girl pop off on somebody,
go off on somebody,
and not think too much of it.
You may see that man
do the same to other individuals,
but here's the thing.
If they have a bad temper with people,
at some point
that temper will be pointed at you.
You cannot make excuses for it
because it's simply not being
directed to you initially.
It's going to turn that way
and so you've got to address it.
Listen, how people treat other individuals
will eventually creep into the relationship.
It's pretty much inevitable
because if they can't
control themselves with others
there will come a time that they can't
control themselves with you.
And again,
what can happen in many situations
is when it finally does turn on you
their thing is well, this is the way I am,
I've always been like this,
you knew how I was, you know.
So, they'll find ways to
turn the tables on you,
they'll find ways to make excuses,
they'll find ways to make you feel guilty.
They'll also making it about
well, you piss me off,
if you didn't do this to me
I wouldn't have reacted that way,
that's not acceptable.
But again, it starts with
understanding or recognizing
how are they even treating other people?
Why is their temper
so short with other individuals?
Why are they so quick to fly off the handle
or engage in disrespectful language
or disrespectful behavior
with other people?
Again, you will not
be an exemption forever
even if they can initially hold it off
because they like you or
they don't want to throw that your way,
whatever the case may be.
It will soon come home
and you cannot accept that.
So, these are again, just
three quick early signs,
but there are other things there to look at.
But let me also add
something to this, all right.
You got to trust your intuition.
So, you got to understand
when you sense something's wrong,
don't ignore that, look into it.
Many times you can be around an individual,
you can like them,
you can see things that
you admire about them
but you still feel like something's off.
And so, understand that
a toxic relationship isn’t just about
them behaving disrespectfully,
poor communication,
tempers, or anything abusive.
Toxic can also simply be
being in the wrong relationship.
Because now what will happen
is neglect, all right.
And you two essentially
not treating each other or
one person not treating the other
the way that they deserve
and that will now create
a very toxic environment.
And so, even if it doesn't
start off with the abusive stuff,
it can go in various directions
when we're dealing with someone
we should not be with.
So, trust your intuition
and also recognize,
are you dealing with the right person?
Because if you are not
it is still a setup for disaster.
Do not make the label of toxicity
as the way that you may perceive it,
be the only reason that
you can validate to yourself
why I should leave this individual.
No, if you're not happy,
why are you there?
And I mean if you're not happy
and it can't be corrected,
why are you remaining there?
If you don't feel right in this relationship,
why are you remaining there?
If you know there's not a connection there, all right.
Or I got to say it,
you have stronger feelings for someone else,
why are you still there?
Because it's never going to really work
and that in itself is toxic.
So, you got to understand
all the layers to this
to make sure you don't fall into that trap
and end up in a relationship
or remain in one you don't belong in.
And if you are in a
toxic relationship right now
it's time to go.
If you've done your part,
if you've addressed the issues
and they're unwilling to correct it
it's time to go.
I know that's easier said than done.
I know you may be struggling with it
and part of your struggle may be
a lack of healing
that keeps you attached
to this toxic individual
and toxic relationship.
But you got to address it
and I’m encouraging you to
take the steps necessary
to move on the path you need to move on.
So, again, those are your
three early signs of a toxic relationship.
Any additional signs you have,
leave them below.
Talk to me, give me your feedback, all right.
Tell me your experiences.
But either way, like this video,
share this video, subscribe to this channel
and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.