Hey everyone, PushingUpRoses here, and I hope you like *s-e-x.* Jessica: “Oh my goodness,
yeah.”
If you recall from the last episode of That Time on Murder, She Wrote, we examined The
Sins of Castle Cove, which was a little spicy, a little scandelous, and full of gossiping,
fun characters.
It’s one of my favorites because it took place in the show’s fictional town of Cabot
Cove, and featured some of its residents, mostly the older women who like to chat at
the local beauty shop.
It was a pretty straightforward plot with an okay twist, but I think I have the episode
to top it.
Today I’m looking at “If It’s Thursday, it Must Be Beverly”, a title which will
make sense way later on.
I should say that this episode did come before The Sins of Castle Cove, so these characters
were already established, as was Loretta’s beauty shop.
We have Eve Simpson, Phyllis Grant, Ideal Molloy, and Loretta Spiegel.
We start out with the ladies all gossiping about something, and even Jessica is there
getting her hair done.
The ladies all seem to be in a hurry, as they do have lives to lead and businesses to run.
Phyllis: “If I don’t get back to the office my computer is going to get lonely.”
It’s a little boxy but it knows how to spread sheets.
The rumor mill is disrupted by the rather boisterous mailman.
I am disappointed in the lack of bend and snaps.
He’s not just there to deliver the mail, he’s also there to push the lottery and
convinces the women to buy tickets.
Ideal: “I must say, I feel like I’m going to get lucky to day.”
That WOULD be Ideal.
(rimshot) Also, you have no idea how true that statement is; This whole episode is about
gettin’ lucky.
Just not with money.
I guess as a way to make extra cash, the mail man buys these special lottery tickets from
New Hampshire and sells them to people in Cabot Cove for a lil more.
Actually...I don’t think he’s even upcharging so I have no idea why he’s going around
trying to get people to buy them.
Nope, not shady at all.
A new character who doesn’t say much named Audrey Martin is also there getting her hair
done.
As Jess is leaving Loretta expresses sympathy for Audrey, implying she is having marital
problems.
“But when the trouble’s in the bedroom”, then you must inflate the mushroom..” a
proverb.
It’s Seth, yaay!
I cannot wait to experiencing another Oscar worthy performance from Doc Hazlitt.
He’s seen dropping off his secretary, Beverly, at the beauty shop.
Can I just take a moment to express how much I love the platonic relationship between Seth
and Jessica?
There have been a couple love interests for Jessica over the 12 seasons of this show but
I always liked that she didn’t really need a guy after her husband passed, and it’s
just nice seeing her and Seth have a humorous and friendly bond; they go antiquing, solve
mysteries, and cook questionable Italian food together.
I think the writers could have easily felt like they needed to write in a suitor for
Jessica, but they never did and I think the show really benefits because of it.
Audrey’s husband Johnathan, the town’s night deputy, comes to pick her up, but refuses
to go into the shop.
Mr. Martin: “You know I hate going in there!”
There’s WOMEN In there.
We get a brief peak at their home life which shows an inebriated Audrey lamenting about...actually
I am not quite sure what she’s sad about.
She’s just kind of lamenting in general.
The deputy is called out to get Eve Simpson’s cat out of a tree, and Audrey is not happy
about this.
She tells him she should have married someone else who could take her dancing all night.
This grinds Jonathan’s gears.
“I should have married Charlie Wilson when I had a chance!”
FUCK THESE FLOWERS.
As Jess and Seth are working on their dinner, Sheriff Tupper shows up.
“Hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
Best fishing spots??
It looks like Tupper is trying to move between Seth and Jessica, but I assure you he is not
interested in Jess, he’s just really hungry ALL the time and can smell spaghetti sauce
from 5 miles away.
Everyone is interrupted by a phone call, which is conveniently for Tupper.
Tupper: “Yes Flossie?”
“Sheriff, don’t eat the squid!”
After a brief phone call, Tupper learns that his night deputy can’t be found and there
were gunshots at the Martin’s house.
Tupper: “It’s just there were shots heard at his house.”
I don’t know what it MEANS.
...So this woman’s dead!
Audrey is found in her home, shot in the chest, with a gun in her hand.
Sheriff Tupper immediately assumes she ended her own life, but the angle of the shot would
have been pretty awkward and Jess makes the observation that women don’t typically use
firearms in this situation; they are more likely to take pills, which Audrey had plenty
of.
Her husband finally comes home and he laments.
Mr. Martin: “This was the high point of her life.”
When she bought this frame.
Johnathan’s spare gun was found at the scene of the crime and he doesn’t have an alibi
for the exact time of death, so he becomes the main suspect.
He expresses disbelief that she would take her own life.
Amos: “Ladies usually take pills.”
Are you serious, did he just REPEAT what Jessica said earlier without crediting her?
As a woman on the internet, let me just say: Big fuckin’ mood.
The next day at the beauty shop, Audrey’s death is the subject of speculation.
Ideal: “But Eve, Audrey killed herself…”
Loretta: “Oh, I don’t know about that...”
Maybe I killed her!
Tupper tries to interrogate the women about Audrey but just kind of gets an earful.
Jess asks him how speaking to the ladies went, and he responds with mild annoyance.
“Women.”
Oh my god, Jessica’s eyes, they are LASERS OF DOOM.
Jessica, sensing something is off, goes to Phyllis and asks her a few questions about
Audrey.
Phyllis didn’t seem to be too fond of her.
Phyllis: “Audrey was much happier being miserable, if you know what I mean.”
She LOVED The Smiths.
Now if you’ll excuse me my computer’s getting lonely.
And now, my favorite part of the episode.
As Jess is working, Jonathan pays her a visit, trying to convince her that he didn’t kill
his wife.
He begs her to help him prove his innocence, and she agrees to it, except she has a pesky
crick in the neck.
He offers to rub her shoulders.
Jonathan: “I’ve got just the cure for that stiff neck.”
Some vitamin D.
I’m not kidding, Jessica starts to get aroused while he’s rubbing her neck.
Jessica: “Oh, you have the most wonderful hands.”
She realizes things are gettin’ a lil steamy, and the doorbell rings, which she is VERY
grateful for.
I was kind of waiting for this to this to turn into a Devil’s Threesome, but she takes
her mail and tries to usher him out once George, the mailman, sees Jonathan standing in the
living room.
Steve Dorian: “I was just rubbing her neck.”
The Sheriff’s station has a strange amount of fish on the walls.
I just needed you to know that.
While there, Jess informs Tupper that Jonathan might not be who everyone thinks he is, explaining
that since he was willing to make a pass on her, he might be willing to make a pass on
someone else, and killing Audrey would make him available for whoever it was he was sleeping
with.
They take a look at the log book and notice the Deputy has been helping Eve Simpson get
her cat out of a tree every tuesday for months, and it would take two and a half hours.
Uh huh.
They confront her on the matter.
Eve: “She’s a VERY bad cat.”
She needs PUNISHING, moooorrrrl.”
Jonathan admits that they were indeed, having sex.
Loretta, beauty shop guru and gossip specialist, tells Jess that Ideal was also having sex
with Jonathan on Mondays.
They check on the other days of the week too and...YEP.
A lady for each day.
Deputy Martin was bonking EVERYONE.
Tupper: “Oh no.”
They figure out that Phyllis’s day was Wednesday and she confirms it.
Jess speculates that the woman could’ve wanted someone to bond with more than the
sex itself; the ladies were either divorced and widowed, and perhaps they just wanted
companionship.
Beverly: “It was good clean sex once a week!”
Or maybe they just wanted a good hard dicking.
This is Beverly, and her day, of course, is Thursday.
Tupper: “According to the logbook, If it’s Thursday, it must be Beverly.”
This is Seth Hazlitt’s secretary, who openly admits to having a sex routine with the deputy.
I love her, she’s super confident and unashamed.
“I’m going out in the world to have some fun!”
I’m gonna boink ALL the boys in the yard.
Mmmmy milkshake.
While Eve Simpson is stopping by Jonathan’s house to drop off some salmon mousse, she
realizes that she was not the only woman in his life.
In fact, none of the women knew about each other; they all believed that Johnathan would
leave Audrey to be with one of them.
Tupper: “Oh no!”
Jess attempts to talk to Loretta, wondering if any of the women felt cast away by Jonathan,
but she says no.
They all seemed happy.
Loretta: “But then Jonathan does seem to have amazing stamina, doesn’t he?
Sort of makes you wonder what he’s got that’s so special.
Oh god, the beauty assistant is listening VERY intently to this.
Don’t do it Coreen, don’t be lured in with stamina!
Oh Coreen NO.
COME ON.
Even Loretta had a relationship with him, though she, and the other ladies, all have
alibis.
So, who did it?
Who’s even LEFT in this episode?
The sex scandal, the gossip, the logbook…
ALL red herrings.
The real murderer was GEORGE, THE MAILMAN!
Why?
Cause he wanted to win the lottery.
Oh yeah, this jumped the shark harder than Final Fantasy 9.
Remember those tickets he was selling at the beginning of the episode?
Well, Audrey ended up having the winning ticket.
George found out about this and stole it; at the end of the episode Jess confronts him
as he is getting ready to flee the country after winning the lottery.
He almost gets away with this, but Jess, being the amazing, beautiful, perceptive woman that
she is, noticed that at the crime scene, Audrey’s ticket was missing.
He disposed of all the New Hampshire Weekly magazines so no one would read about the winning
tickets, then snuck over to Audrey’s house to steal hers.
George gets upset, claiming self defense; when he went to steal the ticket Audrey heard
him and pulled a gun on him, and she was killed when he tried to fight her for it.
Yeah, I bet he’s just all torn up after winning 2 million dollars.
Right, final thoughts!
Getting to this conclusion is just amazing, it’s honestly one of the most far fetched
solutions I’ve ever seen on this show; Jessica figures it out because she was reminded of
the ticket when she was questioning loretta at the beauty parlor, then abruptly remembers
Seth saying he hadn’t gotten his New Hampshire weekly, and geez.
Jess has a phenomenal perception stat.
I really only came to this conclusion by process of elimination because George was the only
character left in the episode.
I did greatly enjoy this one because it was a little higher on the absurdity scale and
had some campy moments; I also couldn’t wait to see who else Deputy Martin was shagging.
This episode took me on a RIDE; we started with a slow incline of gossip, plummeted into
extra marital affairs, peaked at the salmon mousse then ended on a twist about the lottery.
Love it.
I was kind of hoping Jess would finally get some love and affection though; just because
she’s a single woman doin’ it for herself doesn’t mean she can’t get some attention,
though I can see her hesitation since the dude was a murder suspect.
But Friday WAS open on the calendar, just sayin.
Tom Bosley as Sheriff Tupper is always charming, his reactions are hilarious but as a character,
I still prefer Sheriff Metzger, who began his run in season 5.
Metzger often takes a back seat to Jessica’s own investigations, but he was still a little
more energetic on the cases.
Even in this episode, the characters imply that Tupper was kind of bumbling and imperceptive.
Deputy Martin: “And I know if I have to rely on Sheriff Tupper to find the real killer,
I’ll be sent up the river before you know it!”
It’s kind of meandering, but if you like the recurring characters of Cabot Cove and
don’t mind that the mystery itself isn’t meant to be solved, then I don’t think you’ll
be disappointed with If It’s Thursday, It Must Be Beverly.
If you have an episode of Murder, She Wrote you are DYING to see me cover, please leave
a suggestion in the comments, I do consider them, and until then… happy sleuthing.
Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed this episode of That Time on Murder, She Wrote, and if
you want more, I have more…
BUT FIRST.
Have you ever thought, MAN I wish I could get rid of this extra money I have lying around…
well, there’s a solution for that!
I have a Patreon campaign where you can donate small amounts of money to my channel so I
can keep it running smoothly, and so I can coffee so I can stay awake.
If you don’t have extra income, no worries: Likes, comments, and shares also mean a lot
to me.
If you want to see previous episodes on Murder, She Wrote, i linked a couple on the screen
for ya.
On the left you will find an episode that features LeVar Burton, Jerry Orbach, and Adam
West, and on the right you will find the last episode I reviewed, which features the cabot
cove crew and salacious gossip.
Thanks for watching, and as always, I’ll see you in the next one.