Because you'll find out in your life, no matter what the hell you do,
you got pleasures and pains, support and challenge, positives and negatives,
the pairs of opposites,
a magnet can't be split in half and get one side of a magnet.
And nothing in life is one sided.
When.
You're infatuated with somebody and you put them on a pedestal and look back at
the moments when you've been infatuated somebody you'll find that you will,
for some reason when you're infatuate with them and minimize you,
and you're too humble to admit what you see in them is inside you,
you'll tend to sacrifice what's important to you, temporarily,
to be with them and to try to please them,
because any time you give more power to them and put them on a pedestal and
minimize you,
you'll automatically sacrifice your highest values and do what you think is
higher on their values, because you fear the loss of them.
Because whatever you infatuate, you fear the loss of. When you do,
you're trying to change you to live in their values and you can't sustain it.
You can do it temporarily while you're infatuated for a week or two or a few
weeks or months, but nobody can sustain living in other people's values.
So trying to live in their values is a futility,
and you'll be embondaged to the infatuation,
which the Buddha's call the attachment.
And if you resent somebody and you're too proud to admit what you see in them is
inside you and you'll look down on them,
you'll tend to project your values onto them and try to get them to live in your
values. And if you've ever tried to do that in a marriage or in a relationship,
you'll know that that doesn't work.
Trying to get them to live in your values is futile.
Their identity revolves around their values, their highest values.
And when you expect them to live outside their own highest values,
you're going to be feeling you've been betrayed. They haven't betrayed you.
You just have an unrealistic expectation.
You betray yourself because they're not going to do that.
So if you try to force them to live in your values,
or you try to force yourself to live in somebody else's values,
both are futility, not utility. They both don't work.
And you spend a lot of energy dissipating trying to get that to happen.
Now, when you're centered, you're poised,
you have equanimity. You're not too proud or shame, you're centered.
And you have equanimity within yourself and equity between other people.
And you're not looking up on people on pedestals or down on people on pits.
And you're not putting yourself on pedestals when they're down in the pits or in
the pits when they're on the pedestals.
But you level the playing field where the seer, the seeing and the seen,
them are the same. And you love them.
There's no desire to change them relative to you.
There's no desire to change you relative to them.
There is no desire to change anything,
because now you're in a state of love and you're automatically feel that the
way, the way it is, matches the way life is.
The way you are, you have no desire to change what it is.
When you do that, your will matches what is.
And you're no longer bondaged to the things that occupy space and time in your
mind, which are infatuation resentments. So when you infatuate with something,
we've all been infatuated before, really infauated,
and hard time sleeping at night,
can't sleep because you're just running on that,
they're occupying your mind and you've been really resentful and raging,
you got, it's hard to sleep because they're occupying your mind.
So you're embondaged to anything you have a lopsided perception about that
you're judging. And the second you bring yourself back in equanimity and equity,
your mind is clear. The noise in the mind is clear. You're not embondaged.
You're not weighed down. You're lightened up, you're freed,
and you have no desire to change you relative to others or others relative to
you. In that moment, you have freed will.
And your will matches what is, which has been called divine will,
the way it is. Because anytime you expect life to be other than the way it is,
you have a distortion of life.
Many people walk around going I wish life was different than what it is,
but that's insanity. Life is the way it is.
If you can't appreciate the way it is,
you're going to miss out on the magnificence of life.
So anytime you're infatuated or resentful,
and you're trying to change you relative to others or others relative to you
with resentment, you're automatically not free.
And you're going to try to get somebody else to live in your values,
or you try to get in theirs and you're going to live in the fantasy that that's
going to happen.
And the fantasy is the idea that what you want and then you're going to get
smacked by reality, because it's futile, it's not going to happen.
And you're going to think, 'Well, I have the freedom to do what I want,
but at the same time, predestination comes in and smacks me.
Predestination is a by-product of the fantasy of false free will.
And false free will is of an amygdala desire for pleasure without pain,
peace without war, nice without mean, kind without cruel. One sided events.
That's why in the Breakthrough Experience, I explain very carefully,
the 15 most common delusions that people have that lead to the
ABCDFGHIs of negativity or depression.
And this is why people are in this frustration mode because they're expecting
life to be something it's not going to be. Life is not going to be one sided.
You're not one sided. You're not nice without mean.
You're not kind without cruel. You're not positive without negative.
You're not peaceful without wrathful. You have both in your life.
And to pursue a fantasy of one side and think you have the choice to be
one side or the other,
is going to get you smacked by predestination to point out, you don't have that,
you have both sides. So the moment you honor both sides,
you're not too proud or too humble to admit you have both sides,
and you're not putting people on pedestals or pits,
you're putting them in your heart and you actually go back to your highest value
driven objective viewpoint,
where you actually have your telos and find meaning,
in the you find that meaning and you find that purpose and that objectivity,
and you have no desire to change you or others,
your free will matches divine will, your free will matches predestination,
they're one in the same thing. There's no conflict.
You only have the paradoxical,
philosophical question when you're letting the amygdala run your life and you
think that freewill is the avoidance of pain and seeking a pleasure.
And that pursuit is a fantasy because you'll find out in your life,
no matter what the hell you do, you got pleasures and pains,
support and challenge, positives and negatives, the pairs of opposite.
A magnet can't be split in half and get one side of a magnet and nothing in life
is one sided.
In the Breakthrough Experience that I've been teaching for 31 and a half years,
I demonstrate in certain columns of my methodology,
the synchronicity of these opposites and help people break that delusion,
that they're going to get a one-sided world, which is futile,
and the fantasy that somebody's going to live in their values
and they going to live in somebody else's values.
These fantasies are the source of human suffering. The Buddhist said,
the desire for that which is unavailable and the desire to avoid that which is
unavoidable, is the source of human suffering. So free will, true free will,
is when you actually are no longer judging and you have no desire to change
anything. You're in a state of grace. Gracias,
gratitude for what is as it is, and it's matching reality,
it's not skewed, not distorted, not judged,
just loved. And when you're in that state, you have no paradox.
Predestination and free will do not have a paradox,
because the way it is and the way you want it to be completely match.
And I am destined to get that out to people.
I said that thousands of times, to various conferences, et cetera,
the people want a quick fix. When you're living by your highest values,
you think longterm, you strategically plan, you follow an inspired vision.
You remain objective, you match reality and you achieve it.
You're highly achieving.
But if you try to go and live in the lower values by subordinating and trying to
live under idealisms of other people or living under an infatuation that other
people have a better life than you and not honor your life and your own
the second you do you're back in your amygdala and the amygdala is going to want
a pleasure without a pain, a positive without a negative,
a kind without a cruel,
and it's going to be skewed to try to find a one-sided world.
And that is the source of the paradox for centuries,
of this idea of free will and predestination,
as if there's some sort of separation. When you're truly inspired by your life
those are one and the same thing.
Your masterplan plan matches your divine design, as some people call it,
your freewill matches Divine will, human will matches divine will. St.
Augustin said when you're grateful and you have equanimity,
the source of equanimity is your state of grace. When you're in that state,
you actually feel that there's nothing to fix.
You're seeing the hidden order in the chaos, and you're appreciative of that.
And when you have that state, you have the power,
you're not working against the universe, you're working with the universe.
That's the primary objective of why I talk about values,
why I emphasize finding the mission in life that you want to dedicate your
energies to, why to prioritize your life every day,
because why I do the Breakthrough Experience,
because the Breakthrough Experience is designed to help people live in that way.
So you're not having resistance and fighting upstream and feel like everything's
in the way, it's on the way, because now you're matching what is.
I always say,
depression is a comparison of your current reality to a fantasy about how it's
supposed to be. And your amygdala puts fantasies out there.
The magnificence of who you are, objectively,
is greater than all those fantasies you impose on yourself or on other people.
And those fantasies are the source of all of our suffering.
And what's interesting is that's what sold in the marketplace.
The masses are sold opium and delusions to disempower them,
to hold them in a sense their slavery that they self-impose.
You have the ability to live a very inspired life
by getting centered and live by priority and learning how to be objective and
extract meaning and focus on what's really purposeful in your life.
[Inaudible].
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