I work too much. My partner just can't handle how much I work. If you struggle
with work to life balance, this video is for you.
My name is Coach Natalie and I've dedicated my entire life towards
relationship recovery. I've helped thousands of couples throughout the
course of my career reunite get back together and create long lasting loving
relationships. And if there's one thing I can tell you that I've learned from all
of that experience it's that the easiest way to recover from a breakup is just to
not have one. So if you are still in a relationship, if you are here trying to
keep your relationship happy, you're in the right place. This is Happily
Committed, and me alongside my amazing partner Coach Adrian created this
community, created this channel, for you at home to help you coach yourself
through whatever challenges you're facing in your relationship. This video
in particular deals with work to life ratio. A work life balance that all of us
have to juggle. Even me, while recording this video, I'm working. How do I manage
my work and my relationship? This is something that everyone has to deal with,
something that everyone has to think about when they're in a long-term
committed relationship with their partner. If you're watching this video
saying I work too much, there's a tip or an exercise I'd like for you to try. The
exercise is this: I want you to make a list of all of your priorities in order of
importance. That list might include your job, your wife or your husband, your
family, your dog, watering your plants, going for a run, all of the things that
you prioritize the most in order of importance. The reason I ask for you to
do this exercise is because I want you to realize or at least identify where
work and your love life fall on this list. What comes first, your job or your
partner? That is something that you need to know for yourself so that you know
where to allocate your time and your focus. So many people feel the need, the
impulse to say of course my partner falls first. My partner/ my girlfriend /my
boyfriend /my husband / my wife, they are the number one
thing in my life. Work undoubtedly comes second. But I want you to get real with
yourself because not everyone really fundamentally believes that. A lot of
people are career oriented. A lot of people put their jobs before everything.
And so rather than not telling yourself the truth and putting your partner above
your work, only to then let your partner down, I want you to get real. So what I
would like to spend, how I would like to spend the rest of this video is
outlining the two paths. If your partner is second to your job, in this exercise
it is important for you to, one, be aware of that and identify, "Ok this is
where my priorities lie, this is where I want to put my heart and energy
and my focus. And it's important that you then question or ask yourself if staying
in this relationship is the right idea. If your partner wants to be first, if
your partner wants to be present, if your partner wants to be a humungous priority
in your life, but you know fundamentally that your job comes first, then it is
your duty to be transparent with yourself, and with your partner so that
they know what to expect from you, and so that you know what you can deliver to
them. Sometimes it's a really harsh reality but at least it's the reality
and not the fantasy that you're creating. So if your partner falls below your work
in this exercise, it's important that you know that so that you can make the
appropriate arrangements. Now let's say your partner comes before your job. Let's
say you've done this exercise and you realize, "You know what? My wife comes
before my work, my husband comes before my work." If that's the case, the one thing
you need to do from here is set boundaries with your work. You need to
set them and you need to stick to those boundaries because work will never set
boundaries on you. You must set boundaries on your work. There is always
more work to be done. You can ask us! We have
unlimited amounts of work we can be doing, but we set boundaries so that the people
we love - so that my boyfriend, so that Adrian's wife - feel loved and nourished.
Boundaries can look like not working or checking your work email on a Sunday. Or
when you arrive home after a long day's work leaving your work phone in the car.
It might mean when you spend quality time with your partner you don't spend
it sleeping on the couch because you're so exhausted from your lengthy work day.
It means that you're up watching the movie with them or sharing an experience
with them and not just sleeping while they have an experience beside you. It's
about being present, it's about making the effort. Maybe that means setting a
date night every two weeks that is unbreakable so that you know that you
will be there and your partner can rely on you being there without you letting
them down. Boundaries are so important in every element of our lives and they're
very important when it comes to establishing a really healthy work to
life balance. If you feel you are struggling in this arena, if you feel you
don't know what comes first, your partner or your job or you're struggling setting
boundaries for your work and your life, we are here to help. I've coached
thousands in this department. I would love to work with you. I invite you to
visit our website - happilycommitted.com - to learn more about our offerings,
to learn more about our coaching, our products, and to learn more about how
we can help you stay Happily Committed. So thank you so much for tuning in, my name
is Coach Natalie, I'm a relationship coach and I'm here to help.