How to get rid of fear. Yes, you know the kind of fear that tends to paralyze you?
You know you want to do something you want to take some action. But somehow you
get stuck. And you are so terrified you are afraid something is going to happen
to you. Or whatever you are going to do is going to turn out to be wrong. I
remember when I was a doorman at the hotel many years ago. I was there for
about 14 years. At year number seven, I had an epiphany. I realized I needed to
move. I needed to go do something else. Because I felt like I was really wasting
my life. I was going through the motions in life. and there was more out there for
me. Somehow I knew I had gifts I had talents I had something to share with
the world. I decided you know what enough is enough. I need to go and do something.
And I was discovering books on the back seat of the cars that I was parking at
the hotel. When I was a doorman every time I would see a book I would jot down
the title ,and go to the bookstore, and buy the book and devour every word on
the pages. So, I started reading a lot of books like that. One of the books that I
read talked about being a motivational speaker or speaking for a living. I said
what the heck I've tried everything in the United States. I did so many things
in Miami as a broke immigrant without papers. or should I say undocumented right.
in Miami I decided, hey, you know what? I'm gonna try the speaking thing.
But guess what I was so terrified I was so afraid. The moment I said I was going to go out there.
And be a motivational speaker I had all kinds of voices in my head
talking me out of it; terrifying me causing me to be afraid.
Now it's not just my voice or my forces there were other voices out there the
people who tend to discourage you well they were trying to discourage me not to
go for what I wanted even though I was afraid they'd bring more stuff to me to
cause me to be more terrified it wasn't until I discovered what I'm
about to share with you to get rid of your fear or your fears that everything
started changing for me I want to say this to you if you continue to entertain
your fear to believe your fear or your fears you will never be able to
accomplish anything in life you will never be able to achieve your dreams or
your goals I want to share with you three ways to control your fear
number one educate your brain about fear think about it this way
fear is not in the present you cannot be afraid right now in the present if you
are focusing you are looking at me having this conversation with you and
your mind is thinking about what I'm saying you cannot be afraid it's
impossible to be afraid why it's because fear is either in the past or in the
future it's like that you are afraid something is going to happen in the
future let's say you have a job and you are thinking about going for a position
that is available and you are afraid that you are not qualified that you
don't have a degree that you are not smart enough you are afraid in the
future because you think you are going to fail or you are afraid of the past
something that happened in the past maybe a co-worker or somebody took the
job and they failed at it or somebody else did and you begin to project that
reality upon yourself and you are afraid so when I say educate your brand that's
exactly what I mean let me break it down for you in a way that would make sense
to you because suddenly your brain might begin to understand something more
profound about your fear or your fears I'm curious what are you afraid of right
now go ahead top it in the comment below I'd
love to read about your fears because I know I have fears and everybody have
fears so let me know what is yours I know I said how to get rid of your fear
but the question is can you really get rid of your fear or your fears if you
get rid of it where is it going you cannot get rid of that fear it's always
going to be there because fear is fear and you are you fear is always going to
be there the best thing to do is to really understand the nature of your
fear and where that fear comes from because hey there was a time when we
were killed man yes in the Stone Age the primitive age we were living in
caves we were constantly afraid for good reason why we were afraid of the wild
animals that they were going to come and pound on us and devour our skin our
flesh and have us for breakfast for lunch or for dinner it's like anytime
you hear a rustling in the trees like a little movement in the trees your job
you are trying to find out he amount trouble is my family
in trouble so as you can tell there's good reason we were afraid but guess
what we are no longer cave man we are not living in the caves we are living in
a civilized society we are living in big cities unfortunately
since I don't know 200,000 years of 500,000 years when we were constantly
trying to defend ourselves being afraid because we didn't have weapons or guns
or anything we didn't invent anything like that we had a we had a stone as
knives and it was very primitive right so we we had plenty reasons to be afraid
those same fears we used to experience as cavemen and women are still with us
why because they are coded in our DNA in our genes that said your fear is
unfounded your fear is an illusion whatever you are afraid of is not going
to hurt you it's not going to harm you it's not going to kill you let's say you
are an entrepreneur you go to the bank and you sign up for the loan they give
you I don't know a hundred thousand dollars or a million dollars it doesn't
really matter if something happens you don't get the money you can't pay for
the Lord it's that death it's not the end of life
you are not going to jail for it I mean why are you afraid if you decide
to get out of the situation you are in right now and venture out to go do what
you want or to get out of the situation totally nothing is going to happen to
you that's going to harm you that's going to cause you to die or to be sick
do you see what I mean number two you need to question your fears yeah it's
that simple in fact if you question any thought that you have in your mind
the moment you can be aware like awareness of that thought it disappears
you don't believe me try it I bet you are thinking something right now as you
are looking at me I don't know what you are thinking maybe you are thinking
about the past or the future or the present I don't know what it is catch
yourself thinking that thought as soon as you catch yourself you are present
and you are back listening to what I'm saying so the way to question yourself
is to simply say why am I afraid simply ask yourself why am I afraid what is
this about and the moment you say that your fear is ready to run number three
confront your fears Ralph Waldo Emerson said do the things you fear and the
death of fear is certain so the best way to get rid of your fears is to confront
it your fear is a coward it cannot stand your bravery it cannot
stand your courage the moment you go at it you start confronting it violently it
will disappear I remember the first time I give a speech I was so terrified I
know today people look at me they say man you are a natural you have a gift
for the stage you command the stage you connect with the audience I wish I could
just do it the way you do it it wasn't always this way the first speech I gave
at a Toastmasters International was an ice breaker
you know the ice breaker if you familiar with Toastmasters I was so nervous in
the ice breaker I was supposed to talk about myself like my name where I'm from
do you know I forgot my name I forgot why I'm from for a moment I had to think
about it it was like my brain my entire brain checked out on me my heart was
pounding my hands were sweating and I was like my mouth was so dry at
have anything to swallow and my heart was like a horse galloping boom boom
boom I was just so terrified now the question is Renae okay so how did you
become such a smooth speaker on stage now you want to know how I kept
confronting speaking I kept doing the thing that I am afraid over and over and
over until the fear disappears like if you're afraid of talking to people
strangers well the more you talk to strangers the more you feel comfortable
at it the more you get used to rejections I suppose so let me recap
number one you need to educate your brand and let it know this fear is not
real it's an illusion you are not in the cave
this is not the Stone Age everything is going to be just fine number two you
need to simply question your fear in fact you just questioned any thought and
you'll be in the present because in the present you cannot be afraid fear is
based on the past or the future not in the present number three
confront your fears do the things you are afraid I'm telling you I promise you
if you just go out there and do the thing that scares you soon you're gonna
be just fine you're gonna be okay finally let me remind you if you don't
mess with your mind your mind will mess with you hey if you enjoyed this video
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