Welcome back to Social Disorder.
Last week we asked you guys to vote to see who you thought won the pet expo episode.
And... you guys voted...
...for me!!!
This episode, Chris and I are taking to the streets with a series of proposals we have for the government.
The thing is, we wrote each other's proposals and won't know what they are until we get there.
The goal is to get the most sign-ups for our petitions that we can.
Yes. And once we have the support of the people, we're taking it to the highest form of government possible.
The highest form.
Before we can pitch our main legislation to the city council, we need to gauge interest in our smaller proposals.
So we took to the streets.
There's something wrong with you, Chris.
What do you think about the entertainment industry? Would you say there's an unfairness?
Like, in adult entertainment wouldn't you say it's a little unfair that women make so much more than men?
Ummmm...
What I am proposing is a mandatory minimum for male strippers. You know,
a minimum wage. Because I'm dancing my [bleep] heart out all night,
You know? And I'm not making [bleep] right now. You know what I'm saying?
So, are you specifically a male stripper and you're just looking for, like, help?
Well I'm not looking for, like, a handout or an- well, a handout full of cash? Yeah!
But not like a handout like, like if I was pity stripping. Which, don't pity strip because that's just... no one has fun pity stripping.
What?!
Are you aware of the law in Texas, the age of consent is seventeen years old?
Uh, seems a little young.
I absolutely agree.
Um, so, right now we're trying to get a petition raising the age of consent to, uh, thirty.
Well having turned thirty recently that seems a little late.
It seems a little late but you also have to understand, like, I don't feel, like, I'm not thirty yet and I don't feel comfortable making... sex, so...
Well what we're looking for is if you'd like to be open to signing our petition.
Uhhh, am not. No
Alright. Well I guess we agree to disagree.
Ugh...
With our street canvasing done, it was time for Chris and I to pitch our main proposals to the City Council.
Alright. Good evening. We'll call the City Council Meeting to order. Anyone wishing to address the council may do so at this time.
First up is, uh, Aaron... Marquis.
Aaron did I get that right?
Yes.
Good.
Thank you very much, Mr. Mayor.
Uh, this is actually about Resolution H2 concerning property taxes.
And... I would like to add an adendum.
I went to a restaurant the other day... this is a true story...
there were so many unattractive people in it that I couldn't eat. I had to leave early.
Unfortunately, not everyone in this town is attractive. Uh, like me.
Unattractive people, unfortunately, are hard to look at and are sometimes boring.
And I believe there is something that we can do.
Okay. Next up is... Christopher... Steven?
The problem I have is with the penal system, it's too gratuitous.
An example is Title 9. Up to a felony charge can be viewed for promoting the use of or owning more than six... dildos.
That's too many. That's too many. I think we should cut that down to two.
I spend most of my time trying to be handsome. And I just, you guys can put that... on there.
And it has cost me thousands of dollars in surgery.
And I should be rewarded. Whether you believe it or not, ugly people pay the exact same amount in property taxes as attractive people, like myself.
And we should limit the size, of the... not only the number but also the size of the dildos.
I just think it should be something more appropriate. Um, limit it to two. Two inches.
It think it's... it's a danger. It's a danger for our citizens. I know a man who was killed. Or not killed but, you know, he was injured.
Now how are we gonna do this? Residents send in pictures and are judged by a bipartisan council, of course approved by all of you,
It's a council of the hot and if they're ugly they must pay a tax.
Now attractive people, like me and, frankly, several other people on this board, Mr. Mayor, I'm looking at you, would receive a handsomeness rebate.
I think people should, uh, limit their sexual intercourse, um, to certain hours. And, uh, things in the schools that are taught.
Um, that are... are just false. We should limit those like,
Female orgasms.
It's it's it's a myth.
Now some might say an ugly tax isn't fair and that's- I can hear that. And I'd understand that...
But let me say this: if I apply to a engineering job ten out of ten times the ugly guy in glasses gets the job just because I didn't go to engineering school?!
How's that fair?
My proposed solution is the creation of the Department of Indecency and Carnal Knowledge.
Uh, I will volunteer to lead this committee as the Assistant Special Servicemen as my, you know, council.
And together we will rewrite Texas decency laws. If I have the council's support... please say nothing.
Thank you.
At this time I'd like to ask if you esteemed council have any questions about this proposal, uh, and on a scale of one to ten how attractive do you think this proposal is?
Ugly tax! Ugly tax! Ugly tax!
Ugly- do I have much time?
UGLY TAX! UGLY TAX! UGLY TAX! UGLY TAX! UGLY TAX!
Thank you very much.
Very interesting night...
After completely embarrassing each other in front of the nice people of the City Council, it's now time for you to exercise your democracy!
Right. Decide who won this episode. Was it me, with #voteaaron?
Or was it Chris with #votechris?
We'll announce the winner next episode.
So, subscribe! Watch more Social Disorder! Shirt!
Shirt!
Shirt!!!
Vote me.
Vote Aaron!
On the next episode of Social Disorder:
Chris and I put our culinary skills to the test. We each host a cooking class!
"Now that's done [bleep] up soup."
The thing is: we each wrote each other's recipes.
It's a test to see who's the master chef.
"Oooh, [bleep]."