♪♪
-Gary? [ Dog moans ]
It's got to be nice for you
having me around the house more, huh?
-Yeah, yeah, totally.
So what's the ETA on you going back to the office?
-Have you seen any good shows lately?
-I've been watching this new one,
"Squirrel Outside the Window."
Super binge-worthy.
Can't wait to see what the squirrel does next.
-Who is your favorite member of our --
-Nancy. Boom. That was easy. Next question.
-What's been the highlight of your quarantine?
-Probably when I snuck a bite of chicken off the table.
-Gary, that's not good. Bad dog.
-Don't "bad dog" me.
I see the way you snack at 2:00 in the morning.
I see everything in this house.
Just keep the chicken coming, joke boy.
-Okay, next question.
Do you have any fun projects coming up?
-Knocking over your glass with my tail,
pulling the stuffing out of toys,
and I think I might have something going on with Quibby.
No big deal.
-That is a big deal.
Are you watching anything good right now?
-Yeah, yeah, it's this great new show on NBC called
"Watching my owner slowly losing it."
-What was the best part of your day?
-Probably when we went for that walk and you tripped and boofed.
That was pretty classic.
-How's it been having me home all the time?
-Uh, great?
-Did you pause?
-No.
-You paused.
-No, I had something in my eye.
-She paused.
What's your favorite thing about having me home so much?
-I have someone that passes out on the floor
every night like me.
-Gary, would you like to give a shout-out to anyone?
-Yeah, I'd like to give a shout-out to everyone
working through this pandemic.
-That's so sweet. Thank you.
-No, no, not you, Jimmy.
I'm talking about the real heroes,
all the nurses and doctors and people working in grocery stores
and the delivery men and women.
They're risking their lives to save ours.
-Of course.
♪♪
-No, seriously. Did you eat six pizzas last night?