there's something inside of me that I've
struggled with for a long long time I'm
addicted to validation I care about what
people think I want people to like what
I say and like who I am there have been
periods in my own life where I've based
my own sense of my own value off of what
other people think how many people are
watching my work and I think I care so
much about this topic because I'm
terrified of the flip side I am
terrified of humiliation of ridicule and
rejection I don't like that I operate
this way the part of me that is afraid
is the part of me that wants to control
what other people think of me but I know
that's not possible I know that's not
how any of this works I don't want to
talk down to any of you and say look I
used to deal with this but now I know
how to not give a about other
people's validation because that's not
true I still struggle with this but
there is an idea that helps me navigate
this for much of my life I've looked at
things in a sort of binary optic there's
winning and losing there's right and
wrong there's good and bad we see this
in sports somebody has to win same for
election taught this in school and
religious texts we tell this to
ourselves and each other and I see the
validation attached to winning to being
right to being good and I often judge
myself against that standard and I judge
myself very harshly because I'm not
always winning I'm not always right I'm
not always good I mess up a lot and I'm
very unkind with myself when I do and
that's almost like making it doubly
worse you know it's almost like
multiplying the pain interesting thing
though is that as I get older as I'm
looking more closely at this I'm
realizing that there is another option a
third choice and this is what that is in
culture throughout history you find
something a little bit bizarre despite
coming from different time periods and
different civilizations there are
recurring characters and these
characters fictional characters stories
that are told are models for people for
Behavior the famous Swiss psychiatrist
young had a name for this he called them
archetypes and his theory of archetypes
stated that this was like innate human
knowledge that was passed down from our
ancestors now he himself landed on 12
archetypes okay and there are variations
on all the characters but then there's
also plenty of other sets of archetypes
the Greek gods were another set for
example Enneagram is another set of nine
there's no exact number this is just a
method for organizing patterns in human
behavior and psychology why am I talking
about archetypes well an archetype is a
set of ideas an approach to life if you
will and there's one archetype that I'm
obsessed with lately it's an archetype
that speaks to me and that I think holds
great wisdom and that archetype is the
fool allow me to explain I really think
this idea is going to resonate with a
lot of you and offer a different
approach to life I think for most people
the immediate association with the fool
is negative it's this sort of stupid
character you know to act foolishly is
to act in a way that is unwise with bad
judgment but it isn't that simple that's
one interpretation of the fool quickly
though my perspective on the fool
changed as I began to dig a little bit
deeper the fool dot thinking is wise but
the wise man knows himself to be a fool
that's Shakespeare and it's one of my
favorite quotes I think of all time the
character that says that line is touched
on he's the Court Jester the wise man
knows himself to be a fool basically the
insinuation there is that maybe we're
all fools I find this extremely
fascinating check this out throw cards
are often used for fortune telling maybe
you already heard of them maybe you had
your fortune already told with tarot
cards but the interesting thing is that
they weren't originally for that they
were originally playing cards and in
this particular application I'm not very
interested in their fortune telling use
I'm much more interested in their
symbolism they originally come from
Italy in the 15th century and over the
centuries a sort of mysticism has been
developed around them and in every deck
of turtle cards is a fool now there are
78 cards in a deck and we can split them
into two categories the major and minor
Arcana there are 56 minor Arcana cards
and they Loosely correspond with the
modern day poker card deck that you're
likely a lot more familiar with and then
there are 22 major Arcana cards and
they're numbered from 0 to 21. the major
Arcana represents what we all share in
life and the very first card in that set
of 22 cards is the fool the number
associated with the fool is zero it's
neither negative nor positive it's a
blank slate it represents Beginnings
unrealized potential the fool is
commonly depicted as a beggar or a
vagabond very few possessions in many
esoteric systems of torocard
interpretation
there's a theory if you will the fool is
interpreted as a protagonist of a story
and the remaining 22 cards of the major
Arcana represent the path that the full
takes to the great mysteries of life
it's a metaphor life is a Fool's Journey
an experience that a person must
incorporate to realize the potential to
realize their wholeness in this way the
fool is actually a hero and the fool
makes for an ideal hero because they're
unafraid to aim high to face the unknown
to try new things and therefore they are
deserving of change in the most common
depiction of this character in a Tarot
deck it's this young man who's standing
at the edge of a cliff and only a fool
would go over that Cliff right only a
fool would embark on the journey if they
knew really that contained if they knew
what was in store for them and yet they
go for it anyway it is through
attempting things and through failure
the fool gains experience to me the
Fool's a reminder a reminder of the
extraordinary transformational quality
of curiosity curiosity is not just for
the naive it's powerful life actually
doesn't just have to be about success
and failure it can simply be a series of
experiences to be had the fool doesn't
let these things stop them from going on
their journey and there's tremendous
weight that is lifted off my shoulders
when I allow myself to fail
it is this fear of failure I think that
paralyzes me
it is this thing that constricts me that
makes my world smaller I'm afraid to be
a fool I'm afraid to let myself be
ridiculed to make mistakes I'm afraid to
be misunderstood but we all feel
misunderstood sometimes we're all fools
when you Embrace that the world opens up
in such a spectacular way I wear myself
out by worrying so much what other
people think but the fool is a reminder
that there's another way the fool is not
afraid of being seen as silly or stupid
or just simply be misunderstood it is
only when I analyze these feelings very
closely that I realize that I'm clinging
on to something that I cannot control I
cannot control what other people think
of me I cannot control how the world
perceives the things that I make or do
when you make something and you release
it out into the world it is no longer
yours people are free to come to the
conclusions that they come to and this
too is liberating because in many ways
somebody's conclusions say more about
them than they do about you I feel like
in many ways the pursuit of greatness is
blinding and it can lead you to miss the
point of course I'm saying this to
myself more than anybody else and I find
myself often looking for a modus
operandi that can help me navigate the
criticism of others this approval of
others and there are a few things that
resonate more deeply with than this
archetype the fool does not wait for
permission the inner fool is a liberator
because he does not allow you to take
yourself so seriously I've been looking
for answers my entire life and to be
honest with you if anything it just
feels like I have more questions than
ever I think our only choice is to do as
the fool does and take each day as it
comes and to treat life as one long game
we may all be addicted to validation I
know I certainly am but I still aim not
to let that deter me from embarking on
the journey that I meant to go on that I
think is what it truly means to be the
fool
I want to talk briefly about the sponsor
of this video
skillshare who have been giant
supporters of my work for years now
super grateful for their support and
I've been a long time believer in using
the internet as a way to feed your
curiosity to learn new things I've said
this before and I'll say it again it's
been incredible to witness the evolution
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over the years skillshare offers a
tremendous amount of courses on a
variety of topics everything from
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it's a great resource for tapping into
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play the guitar there are actually three
courses that I've made that are
available uniquely on skillshare one is
on how to find your voice online one is
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it's a very powerful tool for finding
meaning in all of your experiences you
can get a free month trial if you use
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checking them out it really does support
my work thank you skillshare for your
support and thanks to all of you for
watching foreign
the courage to be disliked a message to
anyone struggling under the weight of
criticism
you will be disliked
try as you might they will never be
pleased
the more you bend the more they shall
ask for
until there is none of you left
[Music]
where then do you find the strength to
Bear their knives
their indignation and fury
their disappointment
how can you stand on your own two feet
as they call you names
their actions may spark Rage or sadness
or fear in your heart
do not let this stop you from putting
down the shield do not defend yourself
or fight back
no matter how much you make for it
be naked so that the blinding light of
your North Star May Shine On Your Skin
do not Harden your heart
your heart needs no protection no matter
how much they claim to dislike you let
them discredit you misconstrue your
words spit on your name
be the fool the words say nothing of who
you are or where you'll go a beautiful
Adventure awaits you
so long as you open yourself up more and
more until you tell you even the
angriest amongst them the dagger that
might kill you
only then will you find that they cannot
do what they want to you if you bury
your soul
the house may burn
you will be free
[Music]
foreign