Welcome to the Kill Count, where we tally up the victims in all our favorite horror movies.
I'm James A. Janisse and today we're looking at Sinister 2, released in 2015.
This sequel, like the original, was written by C. Robert Cargill and Scott Derrickson,
but with Derrickson off making dat Marvel Money, directing duties fell to Irish filmmaker Ciaran Foy,
who would later make the 2019 Netflix movie Eli.
Sinister 2 sees the return of Baghul, AKA Spooky Face, as well as James Ransone's character Deputy So-and-So -
although now he's Private Investigator So-and-So.
They were really committed to the no-name gag, even though it's not GREAT, it's just so-and-so.
Once again, Baghul is the dean of a Murder Film School for Children,
and the latest young students hoping to get a scholarship are a pair of twin brothers who are on the run with their mom,
hiding out from an abusive husband daddy.
While the first movie had a kind of murder mystery element, with this one,
we already know going in that kids are behind all of Baghul's family murders.
Sinister 2 decides to tell its story from the kid's perspectives, meaning we get WAY more of the ghost cult kids,
with a lot of screen time devoted to their recruiting techniques.
During all of these scenes, the ghost kids talk
"For real?" "Swear."
And they talk a whole lot.
I think it comes off pretty goofy, bringing down an already-mediocre movie that suffers from a bunch of clumsy exposition
and WAY too many repeated moments the original.
The only thing I like is the performances by James Ransone and Shannyn Sossamon,
because unfortunately, even the homemade snuff films are somehow lesser this time around.
How many people will we watch die in those handheld home movies?
Let's find out and get to the kills.
The movie begins with a home movie, which begins with human scarecrows.
With a flick of a Zippo, you might THINK we've already got our first toasty victims for the Kill Count,
but this ain't real, it's just one of Dylan Collins's latest nightmares -
though if I were him, I'd be more concerned about that Baghul in his closet!
Just keep yourself in bed, kid, everything will be okay there
*sting*
Haha I'm just kidding, we're back in Jump Scare city, mutha fuckas! TITLE CARDDDD!
Dylan's got a mom named Courtney and a rambunctious twin brother named Zach, who totally should be dead right now come ON!
And don't kick me in the butt, GOD!
Dylan and Zach are played by real-life twins Robert and Dart Sloan, which explains why they have such a believable brotherly bond
Off camera: "Hey guys." Robert and Dart: "Hi!"
They were both, along with their sister, in that Hilarious 2015 video "Every 90s Commercial Ever",
which got pretty freakin Cronenberg.
"Hohh!" *girl screams* *boys join scream*
*kid-monster snarls*
*monster snarls and pukes as kid keeps screaming*
"Jesus Christ!!"
It was great.
An even MORE fun fact is that both brothers cameo'd in my editor Zoran's kick-ass music video Social Mediasochist 2,
reprising their roles from this movie for a quick shot alongside Baghul - who's played by Zoran himself!
That's so cool!
Courtney realizes she's being spied upon by not-Thomas Middleditch there so she and her kids make a run for it to get away from him - FUCK YO SHELF!
Turns out Thomas Middle-snitch is working for Courtney's abusive husband Clint,
who's been looking for her and the kids ever since she ran away from him.
They're currently hiding at an abandoned house outside of town that has a deconsecrated church on its property.
This house is the old Jacobs residence, and our friend Mr. So-and-So has a picture of it hanging on his wall.
That's because it's part of the Sinister Curse,
the one where families get Baghul up their butts when they move into a place previously owned by a Spooky Face victim.
The Jacobs house is the latest in a new chain So-and-So's been following, so he sets-and-sets out to burn it down and break the chain -
just like he did with the Oswalt Home.
Courtney's a furniture maker who uses the old church as a workshop, even though it was the crime scene of a heinous murder.
She just don't give a damn!
"It's just an old building, baby."
But Dylan gives more than a damn - he gives a straight-up fuck, since he can supernaturally see the leftover evidence from that MURDER!
Dylan also sees - and talks to, unfortunately - a kid named Milo, this little ghosty spitshine bastard
"Do you trust me?"
No I don't trust you, dawg, you look like the leader of a Hitler Youth Group.
Milo takes Dylan down into the basement and shows him an old pirate's chest. YARRR.
The booty inside is a film projector and a record to play alongside the film, so DJ Milo Master Race goes to spin that track.
Wait, who's this little lurch?
"Hey Ted."
Ted?!
"What are you doing here?"
Ha, what?
"Milo said he was gonna show you the thing."
Ohhh, TED'S here for the THING.
I see, real scary stuff there.
Ted has a film reel calling Fishing Trip, so they load that bad boy into the projector and play the home movie with some sickly smiles.
It's our first Kill Film of the movie, but unfortunately, THESE were filmed on 16 millimeter,
which is why they're not as grainy and unnerving as the Super 8 films of the original.
At least they still have cool music underneath, though
*creepy piano and distorted sounds*
Still, the worst is when things finally get fatal - cause this method of murder is a crock.
*scream-noise*
Well, I guess it's also a croco-DILE, but I meant crock of shit.
It's far-fetched to me, cause, like, how did Ted even set this thing up in the first place?
Look at that hushy little weiner, you're telling me he strung up four people upside down over a river? Buncha bologna, man.
Regardless of its lack of realism, the film scares Dylan back into his bed, where he hides beneath the covers from his shitty ghost friends.
The next day, ex-Deputy So-and-So heads to the old Jacobs house to burn it down with gasoline.
Zack sees him and tattles to his mom, and when So-and-So says-and-says that he's a private investigator,
Courtney assumes he's working for her husband
"He is not taking them, do you understand me?"
He assures her he is not, and over a cup of coffee he tells her that he's just investigating cold cases like the murder that took place in that church.
She agrees to let him come back and look around the place as long as he doesn't tell anyone they're there.
So-and-So heads back to a motel and looks up Courtney's backstory before his laptop begins to internet explore more nefarious things instead.
If you think that's bad, guy, don't even think of looking behind you
*eerie music*
Oh I guess it was noth-
*static noise*
Ah! JumpScare.exe! Shut it down!
After a night of public domain entertainment and a mid-mouthwash boy fight -
what the heck don't choke me, Zach! -
Milo visits Dylan again and invites him back out to the movies
"Let's watch another."
Dylan rejects the offer at first, but he has more nightmares when he tries to go to sleep - ones that show HIM as the perpetrator of that cornfield cross burning.
He half wakes up and half sleep walks past Baghul and back into the basement, where he finds and greets another shitty ghost friend
"Hi Emma."
"Are you having the dreams?"
What, the dreams of ghost kids who don't talk? Cause I'm definitely dreaming of those.
Emma says his nightmares will stop if he keeps watching their movies, and to that end, she gives him HER reel to play,
one that depicts a happy family on a Christmas morning.
They all watch in a shot I really enjoy as Emma, in the home movie, serves her family spiked cocoa before spiking the camera outside.
The reel then cuts to four of Emma's family members lying in open graves and being buried up to their necks in snow.
I think it's the most effective home movie of Sinister 2, thanks to a lack of overt CGI and the holiday-tinged creepy music that accompanies it
*music and clanging bells ring*
It's legitimately horrifying to watch this whole family get Jack Torrance'd to death,
especially when one of them flicks their eyes and breaths out fog at the end there.
Howabout that, Dylan? Good enough to keep going?
"Let's watch another!"
Nah, I guess he's good, Milo. You can just fuck off, k?
But come morning, Milo and his ghoulish gang HAVEN'T fucked off. What a horrible thing for Dylan, and only Dylan, to endure.
"You aren't so special, you know."
"What?" "I can see them too."
Oh, well I guess Zach Attack has to deal with these assholes too. Maybe that's why he's such a doucher.
Courtney welcomes So-and-So back to the church so he can look around.
He's not exactly sure what his plan is here, but before you know it, he's seeing baby Noob Saibots standing down the hallway in a pretty cool effect slash jump scare.
Yeah, I said jump scare
*sting*
Cause Spooky Face is here!
So-and-So finds Baghul's symbol and gets a call from Dr. Stromberg,
who is such an obvious replacement for Vincent D'Onfrio's character they straight up lampshade it in the dialogue.
Over the phone: "Are you like, the new uh, Professor Jonas, or something?" "God, I hope not."
Well, you are, brother!
He tells So-and-So he needs to see-and-see him, but before the Private Dick can leave, a pick-up truck pulls onto the property.
It's Courtney's husband Clint Collins, a man so terrifying and monstrous the sight of him makes Dylan piss his pants.
Clint has some cops with him who tell Courtney they're taking the kids,
but So-and-So interjects himself
and drops some law enforcement knowledge to save the day.
"The child custody transfer's responsibility of the Sheriff."
He talks down the trooper, who goes on and gits, and with this battle lost, Clint Collins retreats as well.
With her hideout made, Courtney wants to get out of there,
but since that would spread the Sinister curse, So-and-So convinces her to stay-and-stay,
saying she would look like a flight risk if she left.
She agrees not to leave as long as So-and-So stays overnight to protect them, so looks like this guy just won himself a free family dinner. Jackpot!
Unable to sleep, So-and-So passes the night looking at crime photos instead
*sting*
And, you know, getting jump scared.
Courtney comes downstairs and they step outside for what might be the best scene of the movie,
a nice, natural conversation between two characters
that isn't overburdened with exposition.
As outside, the two of them talk about Clint's abusive ways, inside, Milo gets Dylan out of bed again so he can meet another droopy-eyed ghost kid named Peter.
"This one's mine."
"Just play it."
Haha, even Dylan's done with this shit by now.
The Kitchen Remodel reel shows exactly what it purports to at first, before cutting to a scene where the kitchen's being flooded.
Peter the rubber-booted cam-op is the only one safe from the Danger! Danger! High voltage! he causes with an electrical cable.
Man, it almost looks like they're dancing, or at the very least, Harlem shaking.
Not a huge fan of the digital burn and smoke effects there, though.
Dylan runs upstairs, unknowingly leaving Milo in the basement with his brother
"Why'd you have to pick him?"
"Because you're not good enough to be one of us."
OH DAMNNN, ZACH! This ghost prick just TOLD YOU!
Upstairs, a VERY drunk Courtney and So-and-So come back inside and have a sloppy slobberfest by the door.
Despite some solid chemistry, the two of them acknowledge some unsaid rules of attraction and separate for the night.
After a shot that needlessly repeats the day-to-night effect from the original, So-and-So is ready to take off and go see that Dr. Whatever guy.
He meets him in a scholarly building where, honestly, the dude just tells him a bunch of Baghul backstory that we've already heard before
"There's a murdered family, missing children, and some form of iconological totem."
Yeah, Sinister 2, we watched the first movie. We know this, man!
Though, I guess, to be fair, So-and-So had to be brought up to speed
"He gets the kids..."
*radio static crackles*
Plus, you know, got a jump scare in. Gotta have em!
Incensed by the Baghul Kid bullying, Zach beats up Dylan until the D-COM cast arrives and plays their biggest hit, the shushy finger.
Yeahhh they shushed his ass right back on home!
The ghosts encourage Dylan to quote unquote 'do something about his family', and then Field of Dreams away.
Can they just.. stay gone?
Courtney's mad at Zach for beating on his bro and demands an apology out of him, but that doesn't exactly go well
"Fuck you Dylan. Fuck you too!"
God, that kid is such a little asshole.
That night, Dylan has a dream of domestic violence and sickle regrets before he wakes up and comes downstairs,
once again hoping that Milo has the cure for his nightmares.
Milo says he does - and it's watching HIS reel, labelled Sunday Service, which finally shows us what went down in the church next door.
After seeing Milo pour out some ecto cooler for his homies, it's revealed what he did to his family of five -
he nailed them down to the church floor and tied buckets with rats to their bellies.
Wait, is Baghul, like, directing those rats? That's awesome! You never mentioned nothing 'bout being no rat king, Spooky Face!
Hot coals are placed atop the buckets and Milo's family is killed as the rats inside gnaw through their torso's to escape the heat. HELLO, WORLD!
Yeah you get yourself to freedom, little ratty guy.
It's a bloody, if convoluted, affair that Milo's mighty proud of, which is maybe why he so confidently ends his film with an experimental sideways shot.
The effects for this Kill Film, the most extensive of the movie's, involved a fake torso made by makeup artist Dave Snyder.
They had a real rat poke its head through a foam opening, then added digital blood in post production.
I love seeing these cute little ratty boys on set.
A small girl named Catherine tells Dylan to watch her reel, too, but he declines the double feature, causing them to get real mad and ghostly towards him.
Their persistent paranormal taunting scares Dylan outside and into the church,
where he finds bigger problems waiting for him. But hey, at least Baghul's appropriately dressed for Sunday service!
This is actually one of my issues with Sinister 2 - we see Baghuul way too much.
It's especially disappointing given that director Ciaron Foy recognizes what made Spooky Face so spooky in the first place
"Part of Baghul's power is that he's steeped in mystery."
That mystery is taken away when he's just standing there in the hallway half the time.
I am glad they had Nicholas King return to play the character, though -
the guy is so into the role, despite the 3 hour make-up process required, that he literally has Baghul on his license plate. That's great.
While Dylan's hiding from Mr. Boogie, Milo's crew shows up one more time to tell him, guess what, kid? - they don't even want him anymore.
They were just USING HIM. Using him to get to Zach, I guess, who's now a happy member of their murder film club. Don't interrupt my snuff, bro!
This last Kill Film involves a drill to the mouth of Catherine's dad, and an earlier shot,
when Dylan was coming downstairs showed her mom and sister tied up for toothy torture, too. That gives us 3 more for the count.
Clint returns with a court-order and the sheriff, forcing Courtney and the kids to reluctantly return to his house that night.
It's a real downer of a time, and not only because of the microwaved Hungry Man Dinners on their plates.
It's also cause Clint's just as bad as we suspected him to be. Just, real basic domestic monster here.
After finding out Courtney's moved, thus spreading the Sinister curse,
So-and-So tries to go to their house and warn them, but that only earns him a beat down by the pissed-off patriarch.
Should've listened to the guy, Clint, cause if you had,
maybe you would've noticed that your shitstain son Zach is all of a sudden obsessed with home movies and hanging out with annoying ghost kids.
Zach begins making the Collins family home movie, and even locks down the shot to get a cameo in for himself.
Dylan sees his brother acting fucky and texts So-and-So to come back over and help them.
Better get there soon, my dude, cause we just skipped over the drugging process here and got straight to Zach's family being strung up like scarecrows.
And he's got some serious Oscar ambitions.
"I'm gonna make the best one yet."
Might wanna work on more subtle symbolism then, kid, cause that skull-shaped cornfield clearing's a little too tryhard.
Zach starts rolling on film, and we see the dream that opened the movie come to reality, when his piece of shit dad Clint Collins burns to death on the cross.
That making you feel any better, Zach?
*Zach yells as fire crackles and his dad screams*
I'll take that as a yeah.
Y'all know I love a good fire stunt, so I want to give props to coordinator Jim Fierro and his team for this one,
since the stunt performer was lit up for a good 17 seconds here. That's a long ass time to be aflame, man!
Zach goes to light his brother up as well, but that's when So-and-So drives through the field and straight smacks his vehicle into Zachary's FACE,
putting the kid down long enough for him to cut Courtney and Dylan free.
Zach first-person takes out a sickle and chases them all into the field,
as the movie borrows another memorable moment from its predecessor and plays Gyroscope by Boards of Canada.
*Gyroscope by Boards of Canada plays, Dylan pants*
So-and-So and the nice Collinses make it back inside their house and try to hide from Zach - but he's got a whole damn adolescent search committee on the prowl,
and they ready to invisi-tear this place up to find them!
Haha, this shot is so damn funny to me.
They trap So-and-So behind a desk and stop Courtney and Dylan from escaping by going full-fledged angry poltergeist.
Before Zach finds them and finishes his film, though, So-and-So steps up and shuts down production
"It's over Zach... *broken camera clatters* You're not making him a film."
I bet Zach feels just like all my Michigan film friends did when Snyder cut the incentives
*elongated cry* "NO!!"
Yep, saw many of em do the same thing.
The ghost kids tell Zach that he done fucked up, cause Baghul's bout to be pissed when he finds out he wasn't able to finish his movie.
And speak of the Spooky Face, that old sum'a bitch is here now, with Zach's punishment for his failed production: Death.
A hand on Zack's shoulder turns him into some kind of decomposing skeleton,
and he ends up being part of the film projected on the wall that his mother Courtney then finds.
The film burns up and sets the house on fire too, forcing the survivors outside where they watch the motherfucker burn.
The movie ends with So-and-So taking Courtney and Dylan to his motel room, which they can enter as soon as he's done cleaning up inside
*sting*
Haha got y'all again, maybe - obviously the movie ended with a jump scare.
But don't worry, I'm not planning on doing another one for the whole get to the n-
*sting*
21 people died in Sinister 2, and the victims consisted of 10 females and 11 males. Once again, lotta kids in the mix there. Kids killin' kids, man. Ya hate to see it!
With a runtime of 97 minutes, that left us with a kill on average every 4 and a third minutes.
I'll give the Golden Chainsaw for Coolest Kill to Milo's family, who was eaten by rats.
I think the rat in a bucket thing is always horrifying, whether it's on the floor of a church or inside the walls of Harrenhal.
Dull Machete for Lamest Kill will go to Peter's family, who tried remodeling but ended up getting Electric Bagul-ooed instead.
And that's it. Sinister 2 came out in 2015, and as of now, there are no plans for a Sinister 3. That's fine.
Next week we're starting the Carrie franchise,
but until then I'm James A. Janisse. This has been the Kill Count.
Thanks a lot for watching this Kill Count! I wanna thank some Patrons,
like George Monachello, Nicolas Fantini,
Travis Fields, Roei Irani,
Kris Marquez, and Pyxziz AKA Ashtyn Raley.
Really wish I liked this movie more, but ya know what... I just- I just didn't.
Seems like I'm not alone with that too. But it doesn't take away from the first movie, which is awesome!
Thanks everyone! Be good people.