Translator: Angela Azaryan Reviewer: Emma Dovlatyan
Imagine yourself getting a call early in the morning from your sister’s mobile.
You pick-up the phone, but instead of your sister’s voice you hear a police officer,
telling you that your sister was killed 2 hours ago because of violent beating
by her husband.
Her two kids are at her neighbour’s place, and you are asked to go there promptly.
You may assume that it will never happen to you,
and it will never happen to your sister,
but the 41-year-old Aram was the brother who got such a call.
Kristine was Aram’s sister whose husband would assault her regularly.
After another dispute, the husband punched her,
then hit her in the head and body with a chair, and she fainted.
28-year-old Kristine passed away on the way to the hospital.
Days later I met Kristine’s brother and father to offer our
organization’s support to the family.
I will never forget their eyes,
and the feeling of guilt they carried.
They continued repeating that Kristine could have been saved
had they understood that by shutting the doors of fatherly home on her face
and urging her to adapt to her marriage, they would not stop the violence
in Kristine’s family.
Four years have passed since then,
Aram is raising her two children,
He says he has no courage to tell them
how their mother had died.
He says that she was murdered because of their indifference.
At least 10 women are killed annually
by their husbands, former husbands or partners in Armenia,
with around 30 kids being left without parental care.
In most cases
the relatives, the community
and even the police are aware of the violence and its manifestations,
but not taking any measure to prevent it.
For years Armenia had no law
to protect and support the victims of domestic violence,
there were no state support schemes in place.
For years non-governmental organizations have been alone
in combating domestic violence.
They provided shelters, support services to women,
and helped them combat the fatal cycle of violence.
For all victims and survivors of domestic violence these services were lifesaving.
As a social worker, I used to work with women
who had experienced domestic violence,
I often asked them why they decided to leave after 5, 10 and even
20 years of the incident of violence
and to break the cycle of violence.
My question was not meant to shame them;
I simply wanted to understand, also from a researcher’s perspective, the trigger,
the last straw that made a woman, who had lived in abusive relations for 20 years,
to understand one day that she should not be silent and tolerant.
What do you think most of them answered?
They said: “You know, Anna, the recent incident made me fear
I started to fear that I would be murdered”.
The line between domestic violence and death is very fragile.
On October 1, 2010, in Masis 20-year-old Zaruhi Petrosyan was murdered
by her husband as a result of cruel beating.
Zaruhi was subjected to domestic violence from the first day of marriage .
Her husband was sentenced to 10 years of imprisonment.
Zaruhi had a small child.
Zaruhi’s case was not the first femicide case in Armenia –
but it was the first to gain publicity.
This case served as trigger for many non-governmental organizations and
human rights champions to self-organize,
unite and demand from the State to protect and support
women subjected to domestic violence.
The professional community and female survivors of domestic violence
started demanding from the State to adopt a law on domestic violence.
Only 7 years after Zaruhi’s murder
the National Assembly adopted Law on Domestic Violence,
which received multiple speculations and manipulations
by the so-called nationalistic forces.
Months before adoption of the Law, these forces targeted those
non-governmental organizations and individuals who have spent years
supporting hundreds of abused women and children.
Targeted them only because they requested the State to adopt a Law.
In 2017, however, the law was adopted and provided very important mechanisms
to the organizations working in the field.
Unfortunately, Zaruhi’s case was not the last incidence of femicide in Armenia,
many new femicide cases were registered.
Every year women are murdered
because police officers, doctors, teachers or just neighbours don’t intervene.
The neighbour thinks it is none of my business- why should I intervene.
The police officer thinks they will reconcile and it is better
to give a warning to the perpetrator.
Doctors ignore the bruises on women’s bodies,
which they carefully hide.
The teacher fails to notice the children’s distress
when they come to school after another case of witnessed violence.
Domestic violence is often compared to a vicious cycle –
and like any vicious cycle, it’s important that someone helps to break it and exit.
There are women who manage to break the cycle of domestic violence,
while others need a helping hand to carry on.
There are women who break the cycle but, then again,
being afraid of public reprehension, losing their kids, financial difficulties,
they re-enter the cycle.
Meanwhile, some women never break the cycle of domestic violence.
Every year new individuals, organizations join the fight against domestic violence,
as they comprehend its essence, scope and depth.
They understand that the law is an important mechanism, however
the law alone is not sufficient to put an end to violence against women.
We need other means as well
to fight the rooted stereotypes,
develop the competencies of support professionals to respond to such cases,
create effective protection and support mechanisms for women and children.
How many more female lives like Zaruhi’s and Kristine’s would cost us to rethink
the existence of such phenomenon?
How long should we persuade ourselves that it is not typical of our nation,
that these are “exceptional” cases?
How long should the folk superstitions, such as
“beaten by husband”, beaten by a rose”,
or “beating means loving” impact
our decisions, as a citizen,
to give a helping hand to a woman or child,
even if they’re strangers to us.
In my daily work I meet women whose bodies show the violence they suffered.
They are tortured and degraded in the eyes of their
their children in a space that seems to be the safest for them - their home.
Every day they are resisting the vicious cycle of domestic violence.
In 2014 Hasmik was one of the first to challenge such a vicious cycle
in Gegharquniq, which is a very traditional region.
She was married off to a well-known family.
Hasmik was regularly subjected to violence by her husband in her marriage.
At night, after another act of violence, she ran away from her husband’s home
in slippers and homewear,
and hid in open space near the village during the whole night
Only in the morning she could go to her parents’ house, as she was afraid
to be found and murdered by her husband on the way.
Hasmik’s case went through various levels of court,
but her ex-husband was not imprisoned.
Later Hasmik applied to a support organization which helped her
in recovering the guardianship of her son,
investigation of the case, litigation, and other processes.
Years after, when Hasmik had already started independent life,
separate from her abusive husband,
and received “Courageous Woman” award from the EU Delegation,
and UN recognized her as the “Best Businesswoman of the Year”,
I asked her what was it that influenced her most during the entire case.
Hasmik replied: “There were many challenging moments, when I thought that
I didn’t have strength to continue for justice, but I remember
the judge’s question.
During one of the court sessions he asked me,
why I hadn’t gone to police earlier and
if it was that one piece of bread that kept me living with the perpetrator”.
She pauses and then continues in a trembling voice,
“Maybe yes, women stay because of fear, insecurity,
one piece of bread,
the risk of losing their children and many other reasons.
However, it is very important when there’s somebody who is willing to support you,
to tell you that your situation too has a way out”.
Hasmik’s story confirms that even
the hardest chain can be eventually broken.
However, it is vital that each of us helps the women we know
or don’t know to break the cycle of domestic violence.
Let’s be in women’s life that one person who supported Hasmik in her story.
Let us break the silence when we witness domestic violence.
Do you remember Aram, Krsitine’s brother?
Now, do you have a clearer view of how important it is to react even to one case?
We can not be sure that one day
our neighbour, sister, mother, or niece would not suffer from domestic violence.
Therefore, it is important to remember that our response sometimes becomes
decisive in breaking or strengthening the cycle of domestic violence.