She wanted to leave first when I was almost about to leave the school.
I thought normally we'll go home together but she said she wanted to leave first.
So I said "you don't dog only." Something like that (lah).
She took it as I called her a dog, something like that. Then, she got angry and we quarrel then like that (lor).
We meet many people in our lives,
some stay, some choose to go,
and some will lose touch for the reasons we may not know.
You can open your eyes.
Why are you wearing a cap?
Why? It's okay (what).
Okay (lah), kay (lah), whatever...
Hi, I'm Jes.
Hi, I'm Kieran.
And he is my ex boyfriend from secondary school.
(Laughs)
Funny (meh)?
Start from the top down. Okay
Do you remember this?
Aiya, I don't think you remember this.
This person, she's my senior.
I know her through netball.
When I was in sec 2, the clique was formed. Basically, the clique was called 'flowers'.
(Laughs)
It's so stupid when I say it now...
They are my very close friends and because he was together with me at that point of time,
so he was dragged into the clique also (lah).
Quite cool (what).
I didn't even know you had this.
- But you don't know that they say these back then in like letters then? - Of course (lah), How I know?
Based on what I can remember,
your personality last time when we dated, is like you always like to tell them our problems (one).
- They asked me (lah). I (where got) go and tell people (one)? - I don't know!
Okay then maybe that's a good thing that I can clarify now (la).
They asked you then you told them.
Yeah.
Okay. In this letter, it was for my 15th birthday.
She was interested in one of my friends.
So she just talked to me to try to get to know him (lor).
Nothing much but Jeslene thinks too much (lah).
- So... - That's very very true!
I think because I was very very insecure
and knowing that I didn't give my best in the relationship
and someone came in, then-
Still won't come in (lah).
No. As in like her name kept revolving around our relationship back in the day.
Everybody needs to mention "this is not by him".
(Laughs)
No. Because i think this was how our dynamic worked last time.
I will always think that-
How my friends know (right)? Is because you told them.
Then whatever advise they gave me (right)?
- I'll always- Yeah. - You thought is I ask them to say (one).
Yeah, so sorry (ah).
There will always be this trust issue that I had with you.
Yeah.
This stupid ass photo that I still keep.
You remember right? This one.
I thought I drew it but now I don't think it was me.
- No it was you. - Really (meh)?
For sure it was you. I remember this exact same thing that you-
Why got one pink colour (underwear)?
Underwear?
(Chaos)
I was very fit so you drew me with a lot of muscles.
But because he scared to lose, he needed to draw more muscles on himself.
(Laughs)
Next, oh this photo.
I don't know why I keep it.
It was a birthday that you planned for me together with my classmates.
Where (yall) go?
You blinded folded me, don't know from where all the way to marina square.
- Then we went to Swensens. Ya, ya, ya it was you. - Me (meh)?
I don't think I planned it. Maybe they just asked me to come.
I don't think I'll plan this kind of thing (lah). I'm too lazy to plan this kind of things.
Confirm is they just ask me to come one then I just-
What? I've always thought that you planned it.
No (lah). I'm not the kind of person that will plan this kind of thing.
Wah, every time apologise.
What Korea? Here got Korea (meh)?
Yeah, I went to Korea then I texted you once I touched down.
But I could remember what you said.
Do you remember?
(Wah) so fast (ah)? Come back so fast (ah)?
What did I say?
Yeah, you said "come back so fast (ah)?"
- Oh that was what I said. Oh. -Yeah.
That was like- Remember? The hell.
- What a reply. - Don't want see me is it?
Wow. I'm sorry again for last month of being together. (Wah), everything 'sorry' this letter.
(Laughs)
We didn't do anything anyway.
- Until- At all. - Yeah we didn't. At all.
- The entire relationship we did not -Yeah, 2 years
hold hands, we did not hug, we did not kiss.
One, it's too young. Another one is that
I don't know how to.
When I got older, then i look back and realised that
the reason why I couldn't get myself to do all those stuff with you right?
Was because- hopefully you won't be affected.
But I love you but the love wasn't strong enough for me to do that.
This letter is during your birthday.
Okay.
When we were fifteen.
(Wah), vanish (ah)? Quarrel until very (jialat).
(Laughs)
We quarreled before your birthday (meh)?
We quarrel so many times, I don't even remember.
Eh...
- We just keep quarreling (lor), I also don't know why. - Don't know why.
Okay, I think for my end is
I feel the problem lies with me.
I don't know how to express my emotions properly
and even if I do, it's not the most effective way.
She always like just black face (lor). Then whole day black face. Then talk also like don't want to talk like that.
(Aiya), don't talk (sua). Then, like that just quarrel (lor).
How did we get together?
We started talking from facebook, I think?
Slowly, get number then (talk cock)then confess then get together (lor).
Should be (lah).
Yeah.
What was your first impression of me?
(Eh), okay (what). This guy from soccer team, not bad (what).
(Laughs)
My first impression? Very sporty, very cool I guess. That's why I started to her first.
Rate me as...
Rate me as a girlfriend out of 10.
7 (ah).
Okay, why 7?
Average (lor). Very normal. Okay (lah). Got good, got bad.
If I were to rate myself, if I were you. I will rate-
You sure rate low low one.
Yeah, I'll rate like 2 out of 10.
I was so guilty until today.
Like the way I treated you.
Actually, I think I was quite okay lah. We treated each other the same.
No, I think I was way worse than how you treated me (lah).
It's just your black face (lah).
You got problem with my face?
(Laughs)
What was your fondest memory of us?
I think because I'm a person who treasures my friends a lot.
And the fact that you are very friendly and you treat them equally, that's nice.
So the entire part of you being very close to my friends makes me happy (lah).
And I enjoyed a lot of the times we got to spend together.
I think this entire relationship taught me a lot of stuff.
Like what?
Like communication skills (lor).
It was so bad. Like the way I expressed myself was very very bad.
And you were the first person to be able to- maybe, make me see it (lah).
A different perspective but that thought only comes 2 years after we broke up.
Do you remember our last conversation?
- I do not know. - I don't know.
I think you text me after when I was in poly period i think.
You wanted to get back together.
I was still in secondary school.
Yeah. I think my life was quite good back then so I think no need (ah). No need to get back.
I was fine with it.
I think the reason why I wanted to get back was-
Because you are from express and I'm from normal academics.
All my friends just left the school and I had no one to fall back on.
I needed someone who was very very close to me, that's why it's you.
(Ya lor). I just missed you at that point of time.
Tell me about a time you were the most angry at me.
The dog one (lah).
I don't remember the dog (one).
She wanted to leave first when I was almost about to leave the school.
I thought normally we'll go home together but she said she wanted to leave first.
Then I said "you don't dog only." Something like that (lah).
She took it as I called her a dog, something like that. Then, she got angry and we quarrel then like that (lor).
Nothing much ah. But she flipped over that 'dog' comment.
Because he was-
maybe quite insensitive last time and I was overly sensitive so I took everything literally.
(Laughs)
The only time I was angry was maybe
I see her resting bitch face or her black face (lor).
Not say angry (ah) but maybe (sian).
(Sian) of seeing her face (lor).
Do you still stalk me on social media?
I don't think you follow me.
No. I think after secondary school then I just unfollowed.
Because I'm not very interested in seeing her posts and seeing her whatever.
That's in the past. Now, maybe follow (lor).
Why and how did we break up?
I think we were preparing for our o'levels.
And...
- Just felt that this whole relationship was a distraction. - A distraction.
Because we are constantly arguing almost everyday.
At that point of time, studies were important than anything else.
So we just decided to take a break from everything and just move on.
Did you suspect that I liked someone else?
No...
I mean if there was someone else sure will find out (what).
I'll be must to find out. Very obvious but I don't think so.
I think in your letter,
you mentioned this guy.
Maybe I should clarify it also.
I think he was just a good friend. A close friend who was trying to chase you.
I think also because also like we are quarreling.
We keep arguing.
Yeah.
And he was like always there.
I always want to seek for something more stable that's why he came into the picture.
To be honest, I never felt a lot for him.
How have I changed ever since we were together?
I don't know (eh). Because we haven't seen each other for like 8 years.
From what I think and what I heard is that you are kind of still the same guy.
Like you will love your partner a lot and you will do anything for her (lah).
That's how I still think. It is the case, I hope so.
Did you truly love me?
I think so.
Yeah. I love him.
Or yeah, I loved. I loved you.
How I loved you is not how I've been loving my past partners. It's very very different.
And that's why I realised that I love you but not that much I guess.
What would you have changed about out relationship?
If i knew now (lah), I wouldn't have break up then break up (lor).
Because it's quite a burden what. One time, two times (sua).
Yeah.
Did you regret getting together with me?
No, I did not regret.
Like you made me realise my flaws and you taught me quite a bit from our relationship.
Did you ever regret getting together with me?
No...We kept breaking up on and off so i guess I regretted wasting my secondary school days.
I feel like overall, I didn't really regret much.
I was quite thankful how things went and I think we're both happy now. Where we are now.
Firstly, I wanted to say I'm sorry.
I said that a lot of times but I'm very glad that I got to meet you today.
And we clarified some stuff. Will we meet again?
Probably?
- But probably not hang out or something, I don't know it's just very weird. - Yeah.
Or maybe after this video then I don't know, we can go (siamdiu) together.
(Laughs)
Nah I don't think so. - No, it's just weird (lah). We rather not hang out.
Yeah, just keep it the way it is.
Thank you for watching this episode of Lost Touch.
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(Laughs)
Bye.
(Laughs)