[Music]
with 128 screen kills to his name
michael myers is the embodiment of evil
he's been shot stabbed
set on fire and even blown up
but everyone knows you can't keep a good
slasher down
he's always watching
always waiting
and always ready to strike
with the release of halloween kills
audiences are eager to start the spooky
season with haddenfield's favorite
masked madman but we're pretty sure
you'd be singing a different tune if
this time michael myers was after you
but don't worry you're not alone today
will be the dr loomis to your lorry
strode we'll give you the tips to not
just survive a night of terror but how
to stop michael once and for all
here's how to survive
michael myers
looks can be deceiving
see that adorable little clown
that's baby michael i love little
michaels
at the ripe age of six little michael
savagely murdered his sister on
halloween night after his bloody debut
he was committed to the smith's grove
sanitarium under the care of dr samuel
loomis for 15 years
his professional medical opinion because
i realized that what was living behind
that boy's eyes was purely and simply
evil
thanks for that valuable insight into
mental health sam
but now michael has escaped and he has
his evil eyes set on you
how could you escape this killing
machine
is there any way to put him down for
good
and how could radiation be your best
weapon
step one
cancel halloween
while michael isn't a mama's boy like
jason or limited to sleeping victims
like freddy he's still got a stick
michael kills almost exclusively on
halloween night so maybe you should skip
the trick-or-treating this year instead
you could go on a vacation maybe to a
remote cozy spot
heck we'd even recommend a bunker for
waiting it out until november 1st as
long as you don't invite any of his
relatives
step 2
get some family therapy
look we get it
family drama can be tough but for
relatives of michael myers catching up
could lead to a swift and brutal demise
his older sister didn't make it past the
opening scene his younger sister has
gone toe-to-toe with him several times
since 1978 even the adorable jamie lloyd
has had to battle her uncle on more than
one occasion the point is if you've got
a michael in your family
maybe it's time to set some boundaries
step 3. fill your bathtub
so here's the thing about our favorite
william shatner mask wearing kitchen
knife wielding and seasonally inclined
killer he's really
really tough to kill
michael can take a beating and even
several bullets
one time dr loomis even blew up a
hospital in an attempt to finish him
am i the only one who thinks dr loomis
shouldn't have a medical license
even before stepping into the ring with
the shape you know that conventional
methods aren't going to stop him so what
about luring him into a tub of flora and
tamonic acid
fluoroantamonic acid is 20 quintillion
times stronger than sulfuric acid in
short it's the strongest super acid in
the world
in theory if you could lure michael into
a tub of this stuff it would melt him to
the point where there's no way he could
get back up
remember that time in halloween six when
michael gets injected with several
syringes full of nitric acid well he
took that like a champ so if you want to
survive this you're going to have to get
creative
step 4
get radioactive
we've established that michael is nearly
impossible to take down
we could accept that he's a supernatural
force of evil or we could try to
understand why michael keeps coming back
for more
he must have stem cells and pluripotent
cells going into overdrive essentially
regenerating his body every time we
think we finally put him down this means
to truly end him we need to get rid of
those cells
using total body irradiation a medical
procedure used in leukemia treatment you
can kill all the stem cells the lethal
dose of radiation is one grade
for a killer like michael though you're
going to need to hit him with an
incredibly huge dose we're talking 30
grey
step 5
be thorough
[Music]
even if you finally took down the big
bad michael myers it's still a halloween
movie it sounds gross but maybe you
should relieve michael of his head
if you don't you can expect another
visit from michael next halloween
congrats you live through another
halloween but what if you had to deal
with mask slashers the other 364 days
each year
could you survive living in a real-life
horror movie
find out here on how to survive
[Music]