Hi.
In this video, I'm going to share the most important thing
for you to do to be valued by a man.
[music]
Welcome back.
Mat Shaffer, your empowerment, connection, and relationship coach.
I am a former attorney who decided to use his powers for good
and has committed his life to supporting women
and creating more fulfilling relationships with men and with themselves.
Today, I'm here to share with you the biggest thing
that I think women can focus on, the biggest thing women can do
to create value in the eyes of men that they're looking to know.
If you have a man that you are looking to create a meaningful,
powerful relationship with, this one thing is going to really help you do that.
I'm going to explain it to you in just a second.
Before I do, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and don't forget to click the link in the comments or caption.
I've created some great training that I know is going to make
a huge difference for you in your relationships.
Now, let's unpack this right.
This tip is going to be about how to create value in the eyes
of a man that you're looking to get to know right
because you want him to become invested in you.
You want him to be drawn in towards you and inspired by you.
It starts with a phrase that I want you to really listen
to me as I say it to you, okay?
It's that "Men perceive value much more through actions
than through words." You want to demonstrate your value
to a man much more than tell him your value.
I'm not saying that telling him your value and telling him what you're worth
verbally doesn't have some impact.
It absolutely can, but your actions have much more weight.
They're going to land with him much deeper.
Operating from that space, this is what I want you to do.
I want you to make yourself your first priority.
Make yourself your first priority.
I want you to make this a mantra for you, something that you
say to yourself on a regular basis,
"I am my top priority."
That gets to guide your actions, and here is something.
That is not selfish.
It is not selfish to make yourself your top priority.
I work with a lot of clients who every time they get into relationship,
what do they do?
They have a tendency to give everything to that relationship
and put their needs, put their priorities, put their hobbies,
put their passions on the back burner for the sake of this relationship,
for the sake of this man's interests that they're getting to know.
I'm going to tell you right now, when you do that,
you devalue yourself to him.
You think you're creating this higher value with him
because you're giving him so much.
That martyrdom that you're doing for him,
it's not going to generate the connection that you want.
It's actually going to make him devalue you and pull away
from you a little bit.
Again, what's that mantra?
Make yourself your first priority, embrace your hobbies
and your passions, maintain your circle of friends,
maintain your social calendar outside of your relationship.
I'm not saying don't make time for this guy that you're dating.
Absolutely do that, but also demonstrate to him through the way
that you live your life that he does not get to dominate
every aspect of your life.
He doesn't get to be the sole focus of your life.
He is going to be a part of your life, he's going to be a priority,
but he's not going to be your first priority.
You are going to be your first priority.
If you do that, if you demonstrate to him that you're putting yourself
first consistently, and also making time for him at the same time,
he's going to see that you are ready for partnership.
You're not looking for a codependent relationship.
You're actually looking for a partnership, which is very freeing
and very attractive to him, and he's going to see you
as that high-value woman that he wants in his life as an equal
and as a partner, not as somebody who's looking to make
their happiness his responsibility.
I'll be the first person to tell you too that if a man feels
that you are making your happiness his responsibility all the time,
that becomes very heavy, and that can also devalue you
and push him away from you.
If you're able to demonstrate this in all aspects of your life
and all aspects of your relationship that while he is a priority,
he is not your first priority, you're going to be very high-value to him,
and he's going to want to get to know you better
and get into deeper levels of relationship with you.
I hope this resonated with you.
If it did, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and don't forget to click the link in the comments and caption.
I've created a great training for you.
I know you're going to love it.
Thank you so much for stopping by my YouTube channel
and I'll see you next time.
Bye-bye.