Have you ever wondered what makes elegant people
different from the rest of us?
Well, believe it or not, it's actually in those small details that the rest of us
don't pay attention to.
My dear elegant ladies, let's find out what those details are.
Elegant people would never be rude or snarky to another person.
Why? Because they would never want to make anyone else feel uncomfortable.
We actually had an example of not-so-elegant behavior
by Jennifer Lawrence at the 2018 BAFTAs.
And maybe the intonation of the presenter was done in a way that Jennifer Lawrence
didn't really appreciate, but what wasn't elegant of Jennifer
was reacting in such way. I personally think that was really passive aggressive
of Jennifer Lawrence.
And frankly, that doesn't signal elegant behavior whatsoever.
Because even if you feel like someone was inappropriate with you,
there is no need for passive aggressiveness because
elegant people are never rude or snarky.
Elegant people always have their dining manners in order.
And one of the things that they know is that when they have finished
with their meal, they do not push away the plate away from them.
It is not elegant at all. If you are in someone's home as a guest,
you might want to ask the hostess out of politeness if she needs any help
with removing the items from the table. But please ladies be aware if she says,
no, it's a no. You don't need to intrude and force yourself into the kitchen
because if she said, no, it's a no. You know, it's always sweet that people
want to help, but it is very intrusive when they barge into the kitchen,
they start doing the dishes and really take over the show in someone else's kitchen.
You simply don't do that.
It's actually kind of rude towards the hostess.
The next point, you know how some people, which I find it a little bit odd
when they arrive to a venue or to an event or to a restaurant,
they take their coat or their jacket with them to the table.
Now elegant people, they don't do that.
They don't bring their jacket and place it on the chair so it's hanging there
in the middle of the restaurant for everyone to see. Instead,
if there is a cloakroom, they leave the jacket in the cloak room.
Here, I have an interesting example for you, Anna Wintour
at London Fashion Show in 2018, she's sitting next to the queen.
The first elegance mistake, why are you wearing sunglasses indoors,
especially if you are next to the queen? I get it is your kind of signature trademark,
but it doesn't make it valid. But I also want to point out,
look how Anna Wintour is just sitting on her coat.
The coat is there, literally dangling on the chair.
And I find this not to look very elegant or refined. And think about it this way,
she is in the presence of the queen and she's sitting like that on her coat?
Come on, Anna, you can do better. Hang it in the clock room.
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Additionally, there isn't a strict rule for when you are allowed to visit
the restroom when you are having a meal. But elegant people,
they don't go to the bathroom before the first course, after the first course,
ideally not before dessert, but if let's say there is some form of little emergency
then going right before the dessert is okay. However, in the perfect world,
one would do their business after the meal has finished entirely at the very end.
Also, elegant people don't announce where they're going
if they have to excuse themselves.
What they do is that they simply say, excuse me, and then they disappear.
You don't have to say, I'm going to the toilet. I'm going to the restroom.
I'm going to the lavatory or even worse, you wouldn't say I'm going to the toilet
because that sounds vulgar. And by the way,
I have to share this funny story with you.
So a friend of mine, she went on a double date once with this guy that
she never met before, her friend set her up. So they were having dinner.
And right before the main course, the guy excuses himself and clearly goes
to the bathroom. Now at first, everything is normal, but they're starting
to notice that 20 minutes has passed, but this man is nowhere to be seen.
Where is he? Is he okay? Has something happened there in the bathroom?
So in the end, the other guy says, you know what, let me go and check on him.
So he enters the bathroom and he starts hearing these weird noises.
He hears people screaming. He hears commentary there. So he realizes that,
wait a second, this is a football match. And he then puts one plus one together,
realizes, this guy is sitting there on the toilet, watching a football game.
Who does that in the middle of a date? And why would someone do that?
You know, for 20 minutes when they're like in the middle of a meal, can you imagine?
Now this point is a little pet peeve of mine,
although actually, I made this mistake myself.
I cannot stand when people in public are speaking loudly on the phone
or even worse when you take public transportation and they're having
their long conversations on the phone, they're discussing their intimate matters,
or they have their business meetings. Elegant people don't do this.
It's against etiquette to speak loudly on the phone in public places.
Actually, I remember this one time when I was riding in the subway.
And the subway was full of people and all of us witness this girl
having a private conversation probably with a girl friend
because she was talking about the night before
and how she hooked up with some guy and brought him homes to hers
and had some hunky punky.
But let me tell you one thing,
it's embarrassing to admit, but I actually did something really awkward recently.
So many of you know that I go to therapy and
I do my therapy sessions on the phone.
And this is actually a good reminder to all of you, ladies.
Never, ever take your private calls loudly on the speaker phone
when you are inside your car, because you think that you are sitting there
protected in that bubble called your car,
but guess what? You're not.
So what happened was that I had my therapy session loudly
on the speaker phone, in my car. I was parked outside of big mall on the car park.
It was a busy day and people were walking past my car.
I didn't understand why are these people staring at me?
Why are they talking to each other and looking at me? And you know what?
That was fairly an innocent mistake. I didn't realize that people could
actually hear me from outside. They could hear my private conversation
with my therapist and it was so awkward. That's why everyone was staring at me.
But I learned from this mistake and I want you ladies to also learn from my mistake.
And this actually
brings me to the next point. Elegant people are never seen doing this.
What do I mean by that? Ladies, do not stare at anyone.
Staring is considered rude and not classy at all.
And even worse is when you stare with open mouth, you can't look more
ridiculous than that. If you are a little bit of a curious elegant lady,
then make sure you just have a little glance at something, never do a full stare
and always close your mouth. Another thing that elegant people are
never seen doing. That is chewing gum in public.
And guess who did this elegance mistake?
David Beckham.
And guess where he did this elegant mistake,
at Prince Harry's and Megan Markle's wedding day.
As he was walking towards the church, there was all these photographers
taking pictures and he was just walking there casually chewing his gum.
And of course, it was all caught on camera.
What an elegance disaster, Mr. Beckham.
Usually my tips are for ladies specifically on this channel. And by the way, if you
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But for all my dear elegant gentleman out there,
when you are sitting down, never show your sole to the person.
It's a big elegance and etiquette mistake
when you are showing the sole of your foot. When you're sitting down,
let's say you're sitting like this, or you're sitting like this and
the sole is pointing to the person that is sitting in front of you or around you.
While the rest of us feel the need to always overexplain and give a bunch
of reasons. You're gonna notice that elegant people
actually don't. What they do is that if they receive an invitation to attend, let's say
a dinner party and they cannot attend.
They're never gonna be there telling the host as a bunch of reasons
to why they cannot make it and
always overexplain everything. Because you know, it almost sounds like
they're giving a bunch of excuses.
Elegant behavior is of course, answer an invitation in a good time and manner.
You don't want to let your host wait for ages to receive an answer from you.
Now that would be rude, but you
are not obliged to give this lengthy explanations why
you cannot attend the event. If you have
to decline an event, simply say, unfortunately, I'm not able to attend
this time and that's it.
Nothing else, nothing more. What is key in a situation like this is to always showcase
that you are thankful for the invitation. An example can actually be, if you want
to send your thanks for the invitation, but you are not able to attend.
A good idea would be, let's say it's a birthday party or a baby shower or
similar is to actually send a gift in your absence or maybe flowers,
like a nice gesture that you couldn't attend, but
you wish you would've been able to be there with them. Now that signals
elegance and good manners.
Last elegant mistake. Never bring your big bags when you go out at night,
my dear elegant ladies.
At night, you should always wear something small, like a clutch
or a small evening bag or maximum
a medium-sized bag. But those big work bags or leather totes,
no, they are for daytime or when you go to work.
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