what up everyone it's your girl
superwoman so for months and months you
lovelies have been requesting me to do
this video and i've decided today to
finally stop being a jerk face
and give it to you happy birthday are
you a parent are you a child are you
both
maybe you hate kids maybe you're
pregnant maybe you don't care about the
content of this video at all because
you're watching it on silent because you
dutchy either way get ready to relate
cause i'm about to brought down the
types of parents let's get to it
number one the cool cats now these are
the types of parents that aren't just
your parents but they're your
homies because you're not scared to tell
them anything they understand that good
parenting is not about
fear it's about good communication what
the hell she talking about
it's true it exists hell not only do
they know about your boyfriend but they
know about your best friend's boyfriend
they know about the time you both failed
that math test and you know what when
you're leaving the house
they know that you're wearing a mini
skirt under those track pants they just
don't make a big deal about it
because they trust you're a good kid and
quite frankly your parents coolness
continues to shock both you
and your friends girl honestly let's
just grab a drink before we leave
because i'm spending eight dollars on no
drink at nobar
lily what if your parents see nah man
they're cool don't worry
are you sure trust me okay cause we
gonna have a party what the bloody hell
you doing huh
what you drinking alcohol before you
leave the house
dad ah why'd you doing this huh
it was her idea no dad you don't get it
i'm taking a taxi i'm not driving
you stupid i'm so sorry sorry dad i did
do nothing huh it's just that dreams are
so expensive there and
take my flask what
word oh my god what the hell one drinker
do huh don't be stupid i teach you to go
to club and pay ten dollars for a drink
no don't be dumb okay you take this one
oh my god that's so cool
[Music]
have fun okay be safe don't waste your
[Music]
money
[Music]
so beautiful based on a true story sun
p.s that's me and a beard how's that
silent video watching going now huh are
you getting turned on
now hold up before all you brat kids are
like what the f
my parents aren't cool like that know
that it takes time
to create cool cat parents you gotta
build that
trust okay and show them that you're
mature enough to sometimes do stupid
things
but if he was driving around drunk
failing classes and freaking making out
with people and guess what you ain't
getting the flask
you don't deserve the flask number two
the makeover failures
now these are the types of parents that
from time to time decide it's time to
make some changes around here okay
usually this is inspired by seeing
another family or watching a tv show or
listening to the news and it usually
starts off with a super awkward family
meeting where the parents try being very
serious and diplomatic
and the kids just can't take them
seriously
okay listen everybody listen good okay
yes
okay your mother and i have been talking
and we think it's time to make some
changes in this family yeah okay
and i want every single person here to
understand
very clearly what i'm saying i got it
from now on we want to spend
every single sunday together okay one
for family time okay why because
family comes first
okay what what i see what i see what
come first family come
first that's right family come first
not second first also
we're gonna start eating more healthy
and doing exercise around here okay
because this thing on the news more than
80 percent of family overweight yeah
yeah
that's right i don't want my family fat
okay
yeah that's right lady i don't want to
tell you but you look a little bit
no more this junk food coke nothing
like that okay
really not even that it hit me okay even
fried food done no more
finished good good one more thing okay
we're going to start talking nicely to
each other okay
yeah like we love each other okay no
more bad words
definitely told totally on the same page
no more mean thing and from now on if
you do same anything
you're gonna have to put some money in
the shame shame y'all okay
maybe one day you mad you angry you say
oh i'm so upset mommy you're so stupid
that's it
you put money in the shame shame jar you
don't want to put money in the shame
shame
then you don't do the same then
when the month finish we will take all
this money and we're going to donate
to charity okay why why do you want to
do this because
it's a tax write-off no because family
comes
pot first what what can we come first
girl okay that's right you do why we do
like this huh
because family comes but don't worry
homie
because without fail parents will be
parents and this will last for
approximately
six days before they go back to being
dysfunctional mom it's sunday family
time
ah stupid don't bug me okay my head
hurting
oh you idiot fight you're making so much
noise like this zoo
huh hit him hit him
dad you're not supposed to be eating
junk food
you're telling me rules now huh she
telling me what's
you making the rules now huh but you
said do listen to me okay
i am father i'm making good
you're the one who made the world look
this one's so bloody and grateful you
know when i go honestly i have three dog
eat job give me two dollars each i make
six dollars in all week what is that why
i do this half of your school
for your iphone daddy i want to make a
book and then you're going
what is happening what is happening
right now i am slave i am a slave i
don't have the bloody hell
i'm so stupid lord on me okay
parents oh idiots coming
let's buy a tv huh number three the
generals
these parents are strict you're scared
of them and you probably lie to them
about earthing
i mean they won't let you do even basic
things like going to parties
buying clothes talking to the opposite
sex but the worst part is not only are
they annoying to you but they're
annoying to all of your friends and
heaven forbid that one time to let you
go out yeah
this will probably happen everybody sit
down
so lily telling me that you three want
to go out huh
yes sir who's going me kelly and jesse
your parents know you are going
yes uncle okay okay write their name and
number on this paper
and what time you are coming home huh um
like nine make it seven okay seven five
six fifty nine perfect better even
better
i know okay you three young girls you
want to go out have fun party
breaking rule is all cool i know okay
but i want you to know
i am watching you okay because i know
everything that happened
because i have eyes everywhere
everywhere you all understand what i am
saying huh
got it yeah curry girl now get off okay
[Music]
where are they going here she have group
project yes she wants to go library with
her friend i said go
but i'm going to go to 30 minute tech
library don't worry okay good
i don't trust these friends okay f bro
the last time i checked your sperm and
her eggs did not create me okay
so make like a hard drive and back up
and the worst is when sometimes your
friend's parents will call you to find
out where their child is hello lily
jesse told me she's with you can i speak
to her please and now i need to pull one
of these
um hello i can't hear you all i can i'll
call you back and i need to figure out
where you are
what lie you told your parents and we
need to now run some three-way mission
okay
honestly dismiss yourself number four
the mias
now the mias don't give an f what their
kids are doing
not to be confused with the cool cats
because the cool cat parents will still
smack up their kid
if necessary but these m.i.a parents
they just don't parent
you go to a birthday party and their kid
is just running around putting his
fingers in the cake licking things
pushing kids hurting himself this one
time i went to the mall you know i'm
shopping so i'm looking through some
clothes and this toddler approaches me
and starts hitting my leg and his mother
is just doing absolutely nothing about
it so i figure okay maybe she doesn't
see that i'm getting abused by her
toddler so i say
oh excuse me and what does she do
continue looking at some damn spanx
this kid starts throwing stuff off the
shelf making a mess and the mom's over
there like
and this kid's about to get hurt he's
about to fall down the stairs broke up
his leg honestly
why am i saving your kids life who am i
maleficent
maleficent did i say maleficent
maleficent did i say you know i said it
so many times i don't know how to say it
now no but real talk don't do the dirty
if you can't handle the kids okay
because i don't get it like after
pregnancy is there now stretch marks on
your brain get it together
number five the noobs now this is the
new generation of parents you know the
people in their late 20s
early 30s who have decided to take the
plunge into parenthood
and although these same people were
probably raised in a very
old-school traditional way they now feel
the need to be
super parents reading labels concerned
about organic food what kind of plastic
is in this pacifier
because can we be real when you were
younger your mom probably fed you
old milk out of a yogurt container okay
while she was cooking by an open flame
and you survived and it is so easy to
spot noobs because every single one of
their facebook statuses
will be about their kids oh my god where
do the days go oh my god i didn't know
what tired was until i had kids
i don't care if this sounds lame but my
child is my best friend i used to think
going out was fun but now i know what
real fun is
really because i'm holding a martini out
with my girls looking fabulous and my
favorite song is about to play so i beg
to differ
and then they have all these like new
weird parenting techniques like for
example my sister does this really
strange thing
when her kid is like crying or being a
bit annoying she hugs him like
what the hell where did you learn that
because we both know mom would have
smacked us both
i mean it's cute though don't get me
wrong but let's be real it's only a
matter of time before you turn from full
house
into the simpsons what up t-shirt
reference all the noobs out there just
be like dope
oh snap what up t-shirt reference again
even though these are sweaters wow
that's all for this episode if you think
i forgot a type of parent comment below
and who knows i might make a part two
also make sure you give this video
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and thursday one love superwoman that is
a wrap
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okay bye