Hey, this is Mat Boggs and today I want to share with you a way that you can approach
men and initiate a conversation with a man while remaining feminine.
I recently did a video called The Seven Secrets for Finding Love this Year, and secret number
four was initiate more conversations with men.
And I knew one of the objections that women would have, which is the thought that, “If
I initiate a conversation with a man, doesn’t that make me the pursuer?
Doesn’t that make me the one who’s being masculine?”
And that’s a common misconception because you could actually initiate conversation with
men and remain in the feminine.
And what was interesting is below that video, there were a bunch of comments about, “Well,
how do I do that?
How do I initiate a conversation while remaining feminine and igniting his masculine?”
And Maya Daniels was one of those.
Maya, you wrote in, “How is it that one can contact a guy in a feminine way?”
And so I thought this week we would tackle that issue.
How can you initiate a conversation with men in a feminine way?
Because when you do that, when you have the courage and the capability to actually initiate
a conversation with a man in a feminine way, that opens up a whole world of possibilities
to you.
It opens up all kinds of opportunities, possibilities for you to meet and interact with amazing
men and masculine men – men that will take the lead and men that will make the plan,
men who want to be the masculine in the relationship.
Now, all smart dating experts know and teach that women have actually been making the first
move for centuries.
And you may or may not know this, but you probably – if you have success with men
– are making the first move.
Remember, as men, we’re looking for permission to approach you, permission to strike up the
conversation.
We’re looking for that green light.
And so there are things you can do to give a big green light.
It’s like a Stop sign giving the man a big green light, versus a red light that says,
“Don’t approach me.”
You can turn up the volume on the green light that says, “It’s safe.
You can approach me.
You will not get your head chewed off.
You will not do the walk of shame back across this room.
I will actually talk to you.”
And when you have this big green light, then that gives men permission to come up and talk
to you.
So, what’s the green light?
The green light is eye contact.
The green light is smiles.
The green light, in the even bolder way, is to wave him over to you.
But what do you do if he’s not coming over to you?
What do you do if you’re not even getting eye contact, like if you’re out and about
and you’re at a coffee shop or a grocery store or a department store and you still
want to seize the moment and interact with this man and you still want to be in the feminine?
Well, here’s a strategy that you can use: knowing that one of the things that ignites
masculine energy, that helps us feel more like a man is when we’re serving and providing
for you.
One of our greatest desires is to be a provider for you, deliver you something that makes
you happy, that serves you, that brings you more aliveness in your life.
So you can use what you know about what ignites his masculine energy, wanting to serve, and
open the interaction with this line.
Say, “Excuse me, can I as you a question?
I could really use your help with something.”
That’s your opening line and then, after that, just ask him for his opinion or for
advice on something.
And that is the way that he’s going to serve you.
So let’s just say you’re in an Apple store and you could approach a guy and say, “Excuse
me, could I ask you a quick question?”
and he’ll say, “Sure.”
You say, “I could really use your help with something,” and watch him.
That will immediately ignite his masculinity.
As man we say, “Anything you need.
What do you need?
I will help you with something.”
And then you simply say, “I’m looking for a gift for my brother,” or insert any
male in your life that you’re related to and say, “I’m looking for a gift for my
brother and I would love to get him some earphones, earbuds,” or any gadget that you want.
You can insert anything that you want here.
“I’d love to get him some earphones and I was just wondering, what is it that you
would recommend?”
And at that point, he’s going to give you his advice, his best recommended gift for
the brother.
And here’s what cool.
At that point, he will (if he’s interested) pick up the conversational ball, so to speak,
and run with it.
All he really needs, all we really need as men is permission to talk to you.
We need that green light.
We need something to break the ice.
We need an excuse, something to say.
One of the biggest reasons men don’t talk to women is they just don’t know what to
say.
So if you can be the one to break the ice and actually create something to say, it can
change your life when it comes to the amount of amazing met that you meet.
So let me give you another example.
Let’s say you’re standing in a line, and this can work for any line you’re in.
You’re in Costco, you’re in a grocery store, right?
Coffee shop, whatever.
And there’s some cute guy standing next to you.
You can simply say to him, “Hey, can I ask you for a quick favor?” and he’ll say,
“Sure.”
Say, “Can you hold my spot real quick?
I’m gonna go grab something?”
Then you zip off, you grab whatever it is that you need, you come back, you say, “Thanks
so much for holding my spot.
So how’s your day going anyway?”
And boom, you’ve broken the ice.
Again, that’s all you need to do is simply break the ice, give him a reason to talk to
you, and then you’re off and running.
Now, he may ask you out at the end of that conversation or he may not.
But you won’t be left wondering “what if.”
What could’ve happened if you actually interacted with him?
You don’t want to be left on the sidelines wondering, “What would happen if I actually
get engaged with my life and with these opportunities?”
This is an opportunity for you to be seizing the moment, to carpe diem, to be bold, to
be brave, to be beautiful, and when you do, you’re going to create some amazing opportunities
with some incredible guys.
If this video serves you, I invite you to share it with someone that you care about
and if you’re not subscribed to this channel, make sure that you get subscribed so you can
get the latest and greatest videos as they come out each and every week.
And I would love to hear from you.
What’s something that’s worked for you?
What’s a way that you’ve approached a man that really helped him ignite his masculine,
help you stay in the feminine in a way that worked?
Go ahead and put that comment below.
I would love to hear from you.
Thanks so much for watching.
I’ll talk to you soon.