This is my sister! She's shy.
And this... this is my show!
[panting]
Patrick?
Patrick!
Come on Patrick, the show must go on!
[coughing]
Coming to you from the Star family home,
it's time for...
The Patrick Show!
And here's your wide awake host...
Me!
That was awesome.
With all those super duper special effects,
that was the besteriest show yet.
I can't wait to do that again tomorrow.
I don't know, Patrick. our robot gorilla put us
way over budget, there won't be a show tomorrow
unless we can come up with some more money.
Aww, I wanted tomorrow's episode to be in CG!
Awww.
I'm sorry, CG Patrick!
Hey sis, what you up to?
Well, right now, I'm trying to book
an imaginary ad for your imaginary TV show.
Well, how's it going?
They said their imaginary people
are gonna call my imaginary people.
- Woo hoo! - So, anyway...
[grunting]
Okay, camera one is good to go.
Happy hunting, and remember, don't come home empty handed.
Your entire Patrick Show audience is watching!
- Huh? - Oh, don't mind me.
I always enjoy a good failure.
Oh boy!
This camping trip is going to make
the most exciting episode of the Patrick Show yet!
Uh oh.
Just imagine a sea star versus the elements,
a TV host versus the wild, it's killer TV!
Eat or be eaten!
- I can eat! - And eat you shall!
You'll be living off the land, that's why we're bringing
only the bare essential!
A compass!
A flint and tinder!
Some twine!
And a change of underwear!
Phew, just in time!
Whoa there, you kids can't bring all that!
- We can't? - Of course not!
I could only afford the extra mega jumbo size RV.
Oh this baby is so chock full of color TVs
and king sized beds, there won't be any room for that!
Have fun!
[panting]
Muffins!
Morning, big bro!
Morning, little sis!
Where can I get a job and find my porpoise?
Don't look at me.
I ain't got it.
I already have my dream job, producing the Patrick Show!
Oh, that show's a hoot!
The big guy's so dumb!
Come on brother! It's time to start the show!
[screaming]
These kids are going bananas!
How are we going to keep them safe?
I'm on it, what's safer than in a safe?
Patrick!
Maybe we'll try a play pen.
Hey, let's do a show aimed at kids!
Great, I'll get the crossbow!
Maybe start with a song instead?
You did it Ouchie, we're safe!
I was wrong, tragedy can strike at any moment!
[screaming]
Whoa!
Oh shrimp, Patrick, I lost the rope, are you okay?
Are you still recording?
Still here and still rolling, sis.
I think some sort of sockadactyl took me to its house.
[screeching]
Oh, looks like it's lunch time!
Tastes like argyle.
Wait, a sockadactyl?
Patrick, I don't think you're on the couch anymore.
I think you've broken through to a dresser.
Don't worry big brother, I promise I'll find you.
Cool, you do you, I'm gonna keep looking for the remote.
[yawning]
Patrick, how's the old creative process going?
Terrible!
I've been spinning all morning and I've still got nothing.
Hmmm... a-ha!
I'm sure you'll come up with a neat show idea like...
[INDISCERNIBLE]
Ice cream!
Well, looks like we're doing another ice cream show.
You're just playing in the neighbor's yard.
Great Neptune!
Oh no, it's robot gardener day!
- What? - It's robot gardener day!
I can't hear you because it's robot gardener day.
Robot gardeners!
[screaming]
[recorder music notes]
Oh hey there! It's time for the best part
of Halloween, we're gonna get candy!
Now, follow us while we lick your feet.
Trick or treat!
Exactly.
[INDISCERNIBLE], there's someone at the door!
I'm handling it, Mother! What do you want?
Trick or treat!
I choose treat!
Remove that hand if you want to keep it, Buster,
now give us some Halloween candy.
The only holiday I celebrate is the Shell City comic convention.
There's no candy for you here.
Sure there is! It's kind of stale, though.
[screaming]
My Physics Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy
collectors candy!
Thousands of dollars of corn syrup down the drain!
Oh sorry, I'll give it back.
Here.
[sobbing]
So close to candy, I can almost taste it.
Chainsaws!
The babies are playing in traffic!
Don't worry, I got this.
Welcome to the wild world of baby fishing.
Today we'll teach you how to be an angler of little angels.
For a steelhead toddler,
you want to use a tufted nappy.
Big mouth babbler, the twisted teething ring
is the way to go.
Of course, for a wily rainbow moppet,
all you need is a number four pacifier.
[screaming]
Too old, throw it back!
[screaming]
Ah!
Medina, where are you?
There's a monster loose that wants to eat you!
- The monster! - That's no monster.
That's my daughter!
Squidina? Oh thank goodness,
I could really use another change of underwear.
[babbling]
My daughter is the monster!
Run!
[screaming]
Please Squidina,
you can't eat my boy,
he hasn't experienced the world yet.
Yeah, eat Dad.
He's experienced enough.
I don't want to eat either of you.
I was just trying to show you my survival shelter.
So sis, if you just wanted to show us your shelter,
how come you were making all those scary noises?
I was speaking isopod!
[speaking isopod]
After I met them in the woods,
I spent the next several minutes
learning their language, assuming their manner of dress
and becoming their leader. With their help,
I was able to build the shelter of my dreams.
Now this is how you rough it.
I declare Squidina the winner of toughing it out!
- Here here! - Woo hoo!
Welcome back to the show.
Now we're going to make a casserole.
[cheering]
Let's see, we got socks, dirty sneakers, dried leaves,
old paperbacks, and used napkins?
Hmm.
Well, you gotta work with what you got.
There!
Cook at 1000 degrees for one second...
It's ready!
Time to wrap it up!
The story, characters and names portrayed in this production
are suspicious, especially mine.
No person associated with the show
received anything of value, especially me.
No one was hurt in the making of the show except me.
Thanks for watching!
That was amazing!
The song, the trasherole,
the whole number with the cast of thousands!
- I don't remember that at all. - I don't know how you do it.
I don't know what I do it.
I bet you worked up an appetite.
Wicker heads, I remember those from my pagan days.
Boy were they itchy!
[babies chanting]
Hooray, you dumb, sloppy, tots,
dumb parents are taking them to their dumb homes!
Thank you for doing such an excellent job
watching our little mons--
I mean, little darlings,
We did it, we made enough money to do tomorrow's episode!
Eight hours from now, I could do my solid gold diaper show.
Mmm.
Oh no, robot gardener day!
So, what did we learn today Patrick?
I don't want any more jobs, they're too much work.
I have found my true porpoise doing my TV show!
Really? Then what do I do with this?
Let me go, you little [porpoise sounds].
Hey, watch your language!
This is a family show!
The end is so itchy!