Discovery and Picard are waaay better than stupid old Star Trek,
and the only way I can think of to show people how superior new things are in every way
is to create videos making juvenile jokes about how someone walked weird
or said a line funny or ate an apple once.
I hate everything old and shilling for New Trek has always been my agenda.
Okay, cool. We got rid of the boomers.
My opinion on Picard and Discovery is that they exist.
Anyway, I did a Star Trek poll on Patreon and we're doing a Voyager episode today.
I hope it isn't one that's hotly debated or anything.
Much like this episode, my relationship with Voyager is complicated.
I love everything about it, except for the show part.
It's got a great premise, great actors and some stellar plots. It's just...
Why is Voyager? Why is it like this?
I suppose it's kissmet that this was the selection we landed on today,
because I can think of nothing more emblematic of Voyager's disparate divide
between the show on paper in the show on screen. It's "Tuvix" time, baby!
Y'all like Neelix? I heard he's popular!
It was cool how he dated a two-year-old and acted like a jealous possessive creep whenever she breathed around other guys,
and she didn't know how wrong it was because she'd never had a real relationship and had nothing to compare it to,
and he took advantage of that because he likes to be in control and nobody in their right mind would actually love him or his crappy cooking,
and then he pretended to be a diplomat and got several people killed and rarely contributed anything of value and somehow they thought he was the Han Solo of the series.
Ahh, I sure hope this episode doesn't hinge on us wanting him to exist.
Less unpopular is Tuvok who I can charitably call inoffensive.
If you need a Vulcan man, he is certainly on the roster.
I will say this though: his character was perhaps at his strongest when used as a foil for someone very annoying,
and by that I mean Neelix.
So this episode decided to take this delicious peanut butter and chocolate combo,
and smash them together like a Voyager Reese's.
It's actually a fascinating concept to be honest. So, let's see how they tackle it.
[Voyager music]
[Farts]
We begin with Neelix and Tuvok being sent down to some rando planet
to harvest some flowers they can eat or something.
Neelix is annoying Tuvok by talking about the breeze.
-You're acting more Tuvokian than usual this morning.
-It is impossible for me to be more or less like myself.
-I don't see why you're not having fun.
-We are not here to have fun. We are here to collect samples.
"Gee, Tuvok. You and I couldn't be more different than one another!"
"I fail to see how that is relevant to the situation at hand."
"We have to say it because we're gonna get fused together in this episode. Setup and payoff!"
"I see. And how exactly are we different?"
"Weeeeeell..."
[Allison as Neelix and Tuvok performs "Tuvixes attract"]
♪ [N] Tuvok, seems we never ever agree. You're playing kal-toh. I kill us with cheese ♪
♪ [T] I take things serious and you take them light ♪
♪ [N] I say something stupid [T] And I respond with quite ♪
♪ [Both] Janeway is saying [T] that we're on report ♪
♪ [N] Someone stole my lungs [T] Activate transport ♪
♪ [N] I'm dancing barefoot ♪
♪ [T] Neelix, I grow tired of this song ♪
♪ [Both] But when we get together it just all works out ♪
♪ [N] I take two steps forward [T] I take two steps back ♪
♪ [Both] We come together because opposites attract and you know ♪
♪ [N] It ain't fiction [T] Just a natural fact ♪
♪ [Both] We come together because opposites attract ♪
"I've seen enough. Hogan, Neelix gets you killed later, so it's only fair.
Beam them up and destroy the shit out of these two."
-Energize.
-Something wrong, sir.
[Excerpt from Star Trek the Motion Picture]
[Screams]
[Offscreen] -What we got back didn't live long, fortunately.
Nah, just kidding, that's stupid. What really happens is, due to a transporter glitch,
probably caused by Harry Kim's incompetence,
Tuvok and Neelix have accidentally been sent back as one entity.
Instead of a body horror nightmare it's just like... it's just a new guy with a snazzy outfit.
Yeah, that's how this would work.
Wow. They've created new life. What a technological and biological wonder they've discov-
"I'LL KILL IT, SIR!"
"Let's not be too hasty. We want to maximize psychological damage."
Okay, so the individual created by the transporter accident identifies as both Tuvok, Neelix, and neither.
He's both men and his own person, comprised of Tuvox admirable traits and Neelix's nasty cheese feet.
Thus he has all the knowledge of both parties.
-Kes.
[Creepy music sting]
Yeah, I'd be scared too, Kes.
This whole time stinky Janeway is acting like they caught some sort of friggin spy on their ship.
Immediate suspicion. Everyone's looking for the secret Coca-cola recipe.
-Doctor. Let me know as soon as you have something more.
-Yes, captain.
[Hisses]
Let's see, who should run some tests on their new guinea pig to make sure he's on the up-and-up.
Ah, yes. Kes, Neelix's girlfriend.
I'm sure this won't leave any lasting emotional impact.
Voyager is comprised of a lot of very smart and empathetic people.
Well, we can't just keep calling him Tuvok and Neelix. What are we gonna-
-Neevok.
-Wait, how about Tuvix?
Pfffft... All right, there's a lot to break down about this interaction...
First of all, no way was Neelix getting top billing in this fusion.
Then Kes gives a disgust face at Neevok like she wouldn't pick that couple portmanteau
before transporter man looks so super proud of himself for coming up with Tuvix,
an equally stupid name which Kes somehow seems to agree is better.
And look, I don't want to judge Tuvix too harshly for the name he picked out,
but considering how much of this episode is about him forging his own identity as a person,
it kind of seems dumb to just smash their names together.
-I'm so glad you're here to help me through this, sweetie.
Oh. Faux pas. To be fair It was unsettling when Neelix did it too.
"Aaaah, today I've been drinking heavily, so I'm pretty chill. What am I ever feeling."
As the events of the story unfold Tuvix tries to find a way to serve on the ship
and intermingle with his co-workers and friends.
But there's always that sense of estrangement, at least with Kes and Janeway,
because no one else was close with either of them apparently.
On the one hand it's an intriguing notion. Tuvix is by all of his knowledge both Neelix and Tuvok,
and yet he's alienated by the people closest to him. He is being pushed away because he is a familiar stranger.
On the other hand it might also be because Tuvix gives off a creepy uncle vibe.
[Creepy music in the background] -Has anyone told you that you are as fair-minded as you are lovely?
[Creepy music in the background] -All I really came to say is I'll be here for you if you need me.
-Sex!
-I beg your pardon?
The number one focus at the moment is figuring out what exactly went wrong
during the transport, which they discuss at their noon briefing.
Too many people focus on the ethical questions this episode brings up,
and not the absolutely excessive discussion of flowers.
-And the orchids, Kes?
-They contain the same elements as many plants, chloroplasts, lysosomal enzyme, cytoplasmic proteins.
-The presence of lysosomal enzymes could be evidence of symbiogenesis.
-And if the enzymes interacted with their DNA while they were in the matter stream.
-Tuvix is born!
The best part about this is Tuvix total exhilaration at deducing all of this information
that will later in the episode facilitate in the crew bringing about his untimely and horrifying demise.
-Good work. Mr. Tuvix.
[Evil cackling]
Neelix has gone for one day and the whole ship falls apart trying to make dinner?
Why is everyone on Voyager too dumb to live? This is supposed to be the survival show, right?
"We're here too."
What's going on here, Janeway sharing a private joke with Jus-snore-tay?
Anyway, apparently after one test meeting it's cool to put Tuvix on tactical and security.
Not like you should wait to make sure there aren't any long-term effects of fusing two people into one body.
It turns out he's actually more effective at solving some of the problems
Tuvok was stuck on because he's willing to act on gut instinct,
and seeing as how Neelix was never good for anything, this is nothing but a win for the team.
-There's an old axiom. The whole is never greater than the sum of its parts.
-I think Tuvix might be disproving that notion.
Pft. Solid burn from Chakotay.
"Nice one, Chakotay. You're on report."
After several failed attempts to reverse the process, the gang just has to face facts.
Tuvix is here to stay.
-I'll inform the rest of the crew.
[Allison as Janeway] "Hey losers, looks like we're gonna have to deal with Neelix and Tuvok's love baby for a while.
Just try and act normal like you don't notice he's a freak. If you need me I'll be in my dungeon.
Bring gifts."
Here's where the episode succeeds because I do think some of this works.
Tuvix arrives at Kes' quarters and we get a pretty good scene where he opens up about feeling like an imposter.
He confesses that even though they just met he still loves Kes,
and though Kes says they might be able to help each other through their shared experience,
she can't return his feelings. She recognizes the part of him that's Neelix
but the part that's Tuvok still exists, and so does his wife and family back home.
And this scene is our first real indication that Tuvix is not exactly saying all of this for selfless reasons.
He's saying maybe she should get with him because she might die before her boyfriend returns,
but really, he's not exactly in a hurry to split back into two people.
And why would he be? If the process is reversed he ceases to exist.
It's strong character work, as is the following scene where Kes goes to Janeway's lair for advice.
In one of the few indicators Janeway has a heart,
she reads some old letters sent to her by Tuvok and speaks about how much she misses him
-I hear his voice when I read the words.
-And Neelix...
"What a piece of crap."
Holy shit guys, but these scenes are actually good.
I really admire the acting and the thought put into the mindset these characters are in.
It's these bits and pieces that really make you think about the story at hand, and what everyone is going through.
At least through the eyes of two characters, as the rest of the crew stand around like potted transporter flowers.
Janeway even makes an apt comparison by saying Kes is feeling the same uncertainty
about waiting for Neelix as the crew does about their loved ones back home.
It's some excellent acting from Kate Mulgrew as Janeway muses over the fact
her fiance might not be waiting for her when or if she ever returns.
-Do we accept that we're separated from our loved ones forever
-or do we hold on to the hope that someday we'll be with them again?
-What do you do, captain?
"Masturbate. A lot."
Ah, what a lovely bit of warmth from Captain Janeway, who will certainly end this episode with empathy and kindness.
Tuvix's making himself useful and getting chummy with the crew.
Even Janeway admits at this point that he's way better than those two pieces of crap Nealon and Tevin or whatever their names were.
-And although I feel a bit guilty saying it, his cooking is better than Neelix's.
Yeah. So now like everybody is cool with him. Nobody's even weirded out anymore.
Kes is even open to the idea of a future relationship. Everything is coming up Tuvix.
We even get a Harry Kim clarinet scene? Voyager, you shouldn't have!
[Music: clarinet version of "My heart will go on"]
-I'll let you know when I've learned more.
-This is about Tuvix, isn't it? I'm on my way.
Okay, Harry, you can sound a little less enthusiastic about killing someone.
So due to some technical who's-it-what's-it, they figured out how to get the chocolate out of the peanut butter.
The Doctor and Harry explain this to Janeway while acting like Tuvix isn't even in the room.
Harry even looks gleeful about it.
-I don't want to die.
Absolute shock. No one even considered this possibility.
Not one thought on his feelings or autonomy.
And here lies the Tuvix debate: Janeway is confronted, seemingly for the first time,
with the idea that Tuvix is no longer a transporter accident,
but an individual with thoughts and feelings and rights.
She wants to get Tuvix's perspective on the whole thing, but she is kind of an asshole about it.
-Are you suggesting that this is your decision to make?
-I am the captain of this ship.
"So I decide who lives or dies."
But I mean, that's the question mark hanging over the whole episode.
Are Neelix and Tuvok dead?
By reconstituting their bodies does Tuvix ceased to exist, or did he ever really exist?
Do they have the right to force him to split into two people, to destroy one being to save two others?
Can they speak for Tuvok and Neelix who also have a right to exist but cannot say what they want?
How do magnets work? What does God need with a starship?
There is no right answer here. It's damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I suppose in the end it's all a moot point because you should probably care
about either of the individuals they're trying to save.
-Then, you know Tuvok was a man who would gladly give his life to save another.
-And I believe the same was true of Neelix.
So they'd let Tuvix live then?
This is when things turn absolutely sinister.
Janeway is gonna force this whole thing to go down,
and Tuvix goes to Kes begging for her to speak on his behalf.
And Janeway's all pissy because he got her involved at all.
-He shouldn't have put you in the middle of this.
Stupid Tuvix begging for his life. What a selfish asshole!
Janeway tries to quietly give him the news that it's splitsville, and he makes a loud scene about it.
He goes around the bridge begging everyone for his life and no one says anything.
-Doesn't anyone see that this is wrong!
Damn, this is cold. Not a single person on this bridge stands up for Tuvix.
In fact only one character in the entire episode says this is wrong.
Kes feels a little bit guilty, I guess, but she still wants him dead
because she wants Neelix back for some inexplicable reason.
-Each of you is going to have to live with this, and I'm sorry for that, for you are all good, good people.
Ehhhm... But are they?
-I forgive you.
"Noted."
Janeway and security escort Tuvix to sickbay like he's heading for the firing squad.
And the Doctor says, as a physician, he won't harm someone against their will.
That's okay by Janeway though, because she wanted to release the guillotine herself anyway.
"If the series finale proves anything, it's that there's nothing extremely unethical I won't do in order to save two guys."
-Energizing.
[Screams]
[Offscreen] -What we got back didn't live long, fortunately.
Just kidding, they got their stupid wieners back.
"Damn. I'm really gonna miss Tuvix's cooking."
Unlike Tuvix this episode is not necessarily greater than the sum of its parts.
As I said there's actually a really fascinating dilemma presented here
that could have made for a really dark, morally grey episode.
But in the end just kinda made our main characters look like heartless assholes.
Janeway is conflicted about her decision, but in the end she acts like the captain's word is law like usual.
And like the rest of the series she is met with little to no resistance.
The entire crew watches this happen.
And I'm not saying that there was a good solution to this problem,
but this wasn't the best way to approach this story.
I also found it was lacking for characters who weren't Janeway, Kes and Tuvix,
and it kinda made Tuvok seem like a friendless loser.
But I want to give credit to the actors in the episode for the stronger scenes,
and Tom Wright as Tuvix especially because he was able to take elements from both actors
and create an interesting character that stood on his own.
I just wish this had been a better episode but some people do like it.
So I suppose there's some merit.
Is "Tuvix" a good episode? Is it bad? It's a split decision.
♪ [N] Tuvok, seems we never ever agree. You're playing kal-toh. I kill us with cheese ♪
♪ [T] I take things serious and you take them light ♪
♪ [N] I say something stupid [T] And I respond with quite ♪
♪ [Both] Janeway is saying [T] that we're on report ♪
♪ [N] Someone stole my lungs [T] Activate transport ♪
♪ [N] I'm dancing barefoot ♪
♪ [T] Neelix, I grow tired of this song ♪
♪ [Both] But when we get together it just all works out ♪
♪ [N] I take two steps forward [T] I take two steps back ♪
♪ [Both] We come together because opposites attract and you know ♪
♪ [N] It ain't fiction [T] Just a natural fact ♪
♪ [Both] We come together because opposites attract ♪